The Student Room Group

Does my boss fancy me?

Hi, I'm a walking cliche. I am a straight mid 20s female, in a relatively happy long-term relationship, that has been working for a large corporation for about a month and a half. I believe my male, married, 40-something boss is interested in me. While he has never made any direct moves on me, the standard signs are all there: lingering eye contact, body language, etc. He is also praising/complimenting me in my work. Recently, we went out to a work dinner of 13. I could feel him staring at me, I would like over and he would smile. A few weeks ago, a customer came in for a service and when he came to me at the front desk to finalise his bill, he said that he was to pass on that "he" (my boss) sends me his best regards... And the man went on saying I have a secret admirer. My boss came out to tell me how to go about something koz I am in training and that I'm doing such a good job and put his hand on my should for a long couple seconds. He has now been saying thanks love. He will also come to my desk and ask me to open a part of the screen as he leans in close. He will ask me things that he should well and truly know as the site manager lol but seems like it is an excuse to chat I feel really. I'm not explaining the best I can so please bare with me... It's just something new everyday and there is definitely flirting for sure. So it could head in a potentially bad direction, unless I am somehow totally misreading his actions. The thing is, I am attracted to him as well and am having trouble concealing it, I get soooo nervous when he is around. I feel like I am turning bright red - however, I love my boyfriend and have no intention of losing my job or my relationship over what is most likely a passing fancy with my boss. So I guess my question is: what's the best way to handle this? I am already expending a lot of emotional energy in controlling my own behavior and I find the idea of directly broaching the topic to be almost too much to bear, so should I just play dumb and ignore the whole issue and hope it blows over?I'm ashamed to even have to ask about this - I should really know better. I also realize this is a poorly constructed question, but nevertheless, I would appreciate input from anyone who has been in a similar situation or from anyone who can at least help me frame this more objectively.
giggity giggity goooo
Reply 2
This sounds like one of my fantasies, apart from him being married ofc.
People expecting others to read things without paragraphs.... :s-smilie: makes your eyes crossed.

I would expect that being in the same environment as one does in the workplace that something new such a new person is stimulating and typically male thinks his chances are higher than most in possibly doing something that either's partners don't find out about but if you are not interested and it has only been 6 weeks so he's probably peaking in terms of novelty and should tone it down soon and to make that happen you could show your own signs such as casually mentioning your boyfriend in a conversation.

Then again you mention you are attracted to him and getting bummed by your boss never hurt anyone's career prospects.
Reply 4
Paragraphs.
Original post by Anonymous
Hi, I'm a walking cliche. I am a straight mid 20s female, in a relatively happy long-term relationship, that has been working for a large corporation for about a month and a half. I believe my male, married, 40-something boss is interested in me. While he has never made any direct moves on me, the standard signs are all there: lingering eye contact, body language, etc. He is also praising/complimenting me in my work. Recently, we went out to a work dinner of 13. I could feel him staring at me, I would like over and he would smile. A few weeks ago, a customer came in for a service and when he came to me at the front desk to finalise his bill, he said that he was to pass on that "he" (my boss) sends me his best regards... And the man went on saying I have a secret admirer. My boss came out to tell me how to go about something koz I am in training and that I'm doing such a good job and put his hand on my should for a long couple seconds. He has now been saying thanks love. He will also come to my desk and ask me to open a part of the screen as he leans in close. He will ask me things that he should well and truly know as the site manager lol but seems like it is an excuse to chat I feel really. I'm not explaining the best I can so please bare with me... It's just something new everyday and there is definitely flirting for sure. So it could head in a potentially bad direction, unless I am somehow totally misreading his actions. The thing is, I am attracted to him as well and am having trouble concealing it, I get soooo nervous when he is around. I feel like I am turning bright red - however, I love my boyfriend and have no intention of losing my job or my relationship over what is most likely a passing fancy with my boss. So I guess my question is: what's the best way to handle this? I am already expending a lot of emotional energy in controlling my own behavior and I find the idea of directly broaching the topic to be almost too much to bear, so should I just play dumb and ignore the whole issue and hope it blows over?I'm ashamed to even have to ask about this - I should really know better. I also realize this is a poorly constructed question, but nevertheless, I would appreciate input from anyone who has been in a similar situation or from anyone who can at least help me frame this more objectively.


I got half way through your wall of writing. No he isn't flirting with you he is being a human being


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Reply 6
Original post by Protagoras
People expecting others to read things without paragraphs.... :s-smilie: makes your eyes crossed.

I would expect that being in the same environment as one does in the workplace that something new such a new person is stimulating and typically male thinks his chances are higher than most in possibly doing something that either's partners don't find out about but if you are not interested and it has only been 6 weeks so he's probably peaking in terms of novelty and should tone it down soon and to make that happen you could show your own signs such as casually mentioning your boyfriend in a conversation.

Then again you mention you are attracted to him and getting bummed by your boss never hurt anyone's career prospects.


So sorry about that...I was typing really quickly on my phone and didn't realise lol! I was having issues and confusion with the site as it was!

Thankyou for your input, but what do mean about getting bummed?

Have a nice day :smile:
Reply 7
So sorry! Lol I am trying to edit. I'm on my ph and navigation is working for me lol.
Original post by Anonymous
So sorry about that...I was typing really quickly on my phone and didn't realise lol! I was having issues and confusion with the site as it was!

Thankyou for your input, but what do mean about getting bummed?

Have a nice day :smile:


Am I really explaining what getting bummed is to a female in her mid-20's?!

and thank you I will have a nice day.. :smile:
Reply 9
Original post by Protagoras
Am I really explaining what getting bummed is to a female in her mid-20's?!

and thank you I will have a nice day.. :smile:


Original post by Protagoras
Am I really explaining what getting bummed is to a female in her mid-20's?!

and thank you I will have a nice day.. :smile:



Lol uh oh.... Should we just stop right there? I actually was really unsure....

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