The Student Room Group

My Dad died 2 years ago...

my dad died 2 years ago and I still feel crippled by grief, is this normal? There are days when I can't function because I miss him so much and even though it's been 2 years and all my family seem to be getting along I just can't seem to do that
Condolences to you and your family. It's totally normal. Some people grieve for a very long time. Have you tried speaking to anyone about it? :console:
Sounds like you may need some help something like bereavement counselling or something like that. I'm sorry you're struggling, maybe a visit to the GP is a start.
Original post by Anonymous
my dad died 2 years ago and I still feel crippled by grief, is this normal? There are days when I can't function because I miss him so much and even though it's been 2 years and all my family seem to be getting along I just can't seem to do that


I understand your pain. I'm 19 now and lost my dad when I was 10, just turning 11. Sudden major heart attack. My grief was delayed because I was so young and I just didn't understand what had happened, it's like, a switch just hadn't clicked. As I got older, I lost more and more family members and the more I lost the more it hacked away at the grief I'd never had for my dad, I wouldn't say I've ever been crippled by grief because losing a parent numbed me but sometimes if a certain song plays or I'm feeling down, grief will hit me and I just can't do anything.

I know it's difficult.
Please feel free to message me if you want to vent your feelings.
I'm always here listening.
You can't put a time limit on how long it will take to come to terms with the death of a person you dearly loved. My mum died when I was 4, I'm 21 now but there are still many days where I can't help but think of all the things she hasn't been here to see. Your family may seem to be getting along okay but there may be times when they're struggling that you don't see. Ultimately, to overcome the grief will take as long as it takes. Just try and remember the good times, perhaps even tell your family or a trusted friend that you're still finding it hard. Keep doing things you enjoy to try and keep your mood and motivation up.
Original post by Sicaspeak
You can't put a time limit on how long it will take to come to terms with the death of a person you dearly loved. My mum died when I was 4, I'm 21 now but there are still many days where I can't help but think of all the things she hasn't been here to see. Your family may seem to be getting along okay but there may be times when they're struggling that you don't see. Ultimately, to overcome the grief will take as long as it takes. Just try and remember the good times, perhaps even tell your family or a trusted friend that you're still finding it hard. Keep doing things you enjoy to try and keep your mood and motivation up.


Really good post.
Original post by JustGeorgeJ
I understand your pain. I'm 19 now and lost my dad when I was 10, just turning 11. Sudden major heart attack. My grief was delayed because I was so young and I just didn't understand what had happened, it's like, a switch just hadn't clicked. As I got older, I lost more and more family members and the more I lost the more it hacked away at the grief I'd never had for my dad, I wouldn't say I've ever been crippled by grief because losing a parent numbed me but sometimes if a certain song plays or I'm feeling down, grief will hit me and I just can't do anything.

I know it's difficult.
Please feel free to message me if you want to vent your feelings.
I'm always here listening.

As I read this, I just thought 'story of my life'. Just that I'm 16 :tongue:
Not much I can say but do you think he'd be happy if you continue being grief stricken? I know I suck at this stuff but that very thought helps me during those low moods.
Original post by JustGeorgeJ
I understand your pain. I'm 19 now and lost my dad when I was 10, just turning 11. Sudden major heart attack. My grief was delayed because I was so young and I just didn't understand what had happened, it's like, a switch just hadn't clicked. As I got older, I lost more and more family members and the more I lost the more it hacked away at the grief I'd never had for my dad, I wouldn't say I've ever been crippled by grief because losing a parent numbed me but sometimes if a certain song plays or I'm feeling down, grief will hit me and I just can't do anything.

I know it's difficult.
Please feel free to message me if you want to vent your feelings.
I'm always here listening.


OH MY GOD, this is me, all over.

I lost my dad at 13, and subsequently lost my uncle and grandma in last years exam period. It's completely numbed me to the extent where grief is impossible to have. Then suddenly. I'll just be watching a movie or listening to a song and tears will start trickling down my cheek, continuously flowing.

It sucks but I've always just tried to push on and tried to forge my own achievements.

Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Princepieman
OH MY GOD, this is me, all over.

I lost my dad at 13, and subsequently lost my uncle and grandma in last years exam period. It's completely numbed me to the extent where grief is impossible to have. Then suddenly. I'll just be watching a movie or listening to a song and tears will start trickling down my cheek, continuously flowing.

It sucks but I've always just tried to push on and tried to forge my own achievements.

Posted from TSR Mobile


I always thought I was alone in this. After my dad passed, members of my family just kept passing away and my family is so small. My grandad became my second dad and he passed away last year. Though, I'm still numb.

Indeed, I agree with you.

Always a message away if you'd like a chat.
Original post by Imperion
As I read this, I just thought 'story of my life'. Just that I'm 16 :tongue:


Well you aren't alone, as much as I thought I was. It's a shock to see that people have been through similar feelings.

Always a message away if you want a chat.
Original post by JustGeorgeJ
Well you aren't alone, as much as I thought I was. It's a shock to see that people have been through similar feelings.

Always a message away if you want a chat.


Hahaha same here, my friend! :biggrin:

Thank you :smile:
Everybody grieves for different amount of time and in different ways. My dad passed when I was 9 and i ve had a fair few deaths in the past 11 years since then and each death has affected me differently. I still get emotional at times and miss all of them especially at events where other people will have that relative normally there like birthdays and things.

The only advice I have really is to talk to anyone, i know sometimes that can hurt to do so but it can help you process your feelings and also help you remember the person you ve lost too and that its okay to cry on someones shoulder if you need to.
Original post by Imperion
Hahaha same here, my friend! :biggrin:

Thank you :smile:


Thank you too!
I don't think grief truly ever goes away. I think you'll get much better at dealing with it, and it'll fall more and more into the background as time passes. It's totally normal and some people are better at dealing/avoiding it (I suspect the latter for the rest of your family as it's only been two years) than others.

Talk to people if you feel the need to as well.
Original post by Anonymous
my dad died 2 years ago and I still feel crippled by grief, is this normal? There are days when I can't function because I miss him so much and even though it's been 2 years and all my family seem to be getting along I just can't seem to do that


thank you to everyone for all the messages it feels good to know im not completely alone
Original post by JustGeorgeJ
I understand your pain. I'm 19 now and lost my dad when I was 10, just turning 11. Sudden major heart attack. My grief was delayed because I was so young and I just didn't understand what had happened, it's like, a switch just hadn't clicked. As I got older, I lost more and more family members and the more I lost the more it hacked away at the grief I'd never had for my dad, I wouldn't say I've ever been crippled by grief because losing a parent numbed me but sometimes if a certain song plays or I'm feeling down, grief will hit me and I just can't do anything.

I know it's difficult.
Please feel free to message me if you want to vent your feelings.
I'm always here listening.


thank you x
Original post by Anonymous
my dad died 2 years ago and I still feel crippled by grief, is this normal? There are days when I can't function because I miss him so much and even though it's been 2 years and all my family seem to be getting along I just can't seem to do that


wow you all helped me a lot so thank you to everyone xx (this is OP)
Hello OP,

I'm very sorry to hear of your loss. When I was thirteen, I lost my 11-year-old cousin, and three months after that, our grandfather passed away. The first year was exactly how you described. I felt crippled by heartbreak, would often have dreams about the awful freak accident that took my cousin's life, cry when I was alone... Even now, seven years on, I wonder what Grandad would say if he saw how much has changed, or what my cousin would be achieving, or what she'd think of her two younger brothers and nephew that have been born since. Yet we all grieve in different ways. Maybe your family are dealing with it differently and struggling inside? Whatever the case, don't ever bottle your feelings up. Talk to someone. A friend, a family member, just someone you can trust. Please. Bottling up your feelings is never good for you. It's difficult, but try to focus the good memories, take as long as you need. This is something that cannot be rushed.

Stay strong. If you ever need to talk to someone, just send me a PM. :hugs:

Quick Reply

Related discussions

Latest

Trending

Trending

Articles for you