Competition - post a photo you've taken of nature >>

Passed but too terrified

I passed my practical a month ago (2nd time, 3 minors) and I have had my own car for a year. However, I hadn't practiced in it because my parents didn't have any time. Now that I have passed, I am too terrified to drive alone. My brain just turns to mush and I am frightened I will do something wrong! I am someone who gets very easily embarrassed and anxious and flustered and the fact that I am not used to my car doesn't help. I have managed to go out with my dad a couple of times and get more used to the clutch and then I went out with my boyfriend (who hasn't learnt to drive) but I hated the experience and got so stressed! I am so worried about being confused by the markings or something because of my nerves- I drove to a new place with dad the other day and a right turn at traffic lights made me feel so panicky because I was worried I would drive down the wrong lane! Thing is, my parents are away for two weeks now and the car is sat there waiting for me to drive it. I really want to but I am just so scared. People also make it worse by saying things like 'well you shouldn't have passed if you're this bad' but the thing is I was so confident in my instructors car! Though obviously I never tried driving that alone. Now it's back to square one. Also, I feel like no one makes mistakes once they've passed, like forgetting to indicate or check mirrors which I have occasionally done when in my car! Should I go for it and just try?

Reply 1

Grant2007

Have a couple of refresher lessons in your own car, and drive as much as possible between and after them.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 2

carrotstar

Would it make you more relaxed if a friend was in the car with you rather than a parent or being alone? If so try and get a friend to come out and about with you who is a reasonably experienced driver. They can give you pointers if encouragement is what you want. Unfortunately, the only way you'll gain confidence and set routines (such as mirrors) in your head will be to practise. You could even run through scenarios in your head (including thinking about the differences between your car and the instructors car) whilst not in your car such as how you might approach a junction. Also keep on top of your theory book because it will help to keep the order of things in your head.

Reply 3

Emstein A.

I'm having the same problem. I passed a month ago after a year (long story, I'm bad but I'm not that bad) of learning and my dad, despite knowing that I planned never to drive again, bought me a car. I have absolutely no interest in it whatsoever and make near-fatal (I'm not joking) mistakes every time I drive the damn thing, but he won't let me use public transport any more if I want to leave the house. Don't get me wrong, I tried my hardest at first to remain at the standard at which I passed but in my case, practise definitely does not make perfect. Long story short, without my instructor next to me I don't know **** and to be honest, won't ever know ****. The astonishing quality of my driving even after a year is starting to bore even me. Take today, for example - I counted my exit on a roundabout as the fourth, for some reason it turned out to be the third, my dad alerted me at the very last minute but as there was a temporary red light and vehicles were flowing from the exit back out onto the roundabout, I panicked and instead of waiting tried to cram myself next to a van. Yeah. Not only that, but I cut in front of an ambulance that I wasn't aware of and cut in front of it again very dangerously reversing of the exit to continue 'round and take another one. Not only that, but the purpose of the trip was for some discounted petrol, only I saved about 4p and faced my car the wrong way so put petrol everywhere but inside. I have had a year's worth of training for this, and for what? Money down the drain, mate. I drove better as a learner. No fear - I've now resorted to leaving my car unlocked in the hope that somebody snatches it. I'm not joking. So know that firstly, it's not just you and secondly, no matter how bad you are, you can't be as bad as me. I mean, don't even get me started on my parking -

As for what I'd recommend, definitely drive with a (sensible) friend with some driving experience. You'll feel much more relaxed, particularly if you turn on the radio (on a low volume), chat a bit when you can, etc. Driving with a parent to me is like sitting my test all over again, but I drive much better with a friend or sibling acting as a second pair of eyes, a GPS and a non-judgemental presence. Also, it sounds odd but I even prefer driving alone sometimes, it's a huge weight off my chest to do my own thing in my car and take it slow and steady by myself. Don't push yourself to journey too far too soon, stick to places you know well at first just in case - and most importantly, don't drive if you're not feeling up to it. Having a panic mid-journey is not fun, so if you're brain's like "nah, mate," then nah, mate. What's the rush?

(Also, sometimes your level of skill is your level of skill. Don't put too much pressure on yourself to be the next Lewis Hamilton. I'm for sure not getting any better than this, lol.)

Best of luck, I'm sure that you'll be absolutely fine! ♥

Reply 4

mcgreevy1993

I know people will always tell you this, but the best way to gain confidence is to drive.

It's normal to be nervous after passing. The first time I drove on my own I came to a busy box junction, I thought I was going to die, , I couldn't think, so I approached so slowly...when I got passed it - my heart was beating so fast!!

Like other people have said, go out with people who can drive and are calm, so this does not mean your parent who holds onto the seat and tells you to slow when you're already doing 30 on a 40 road. Backseat driving makes you more nervous - ditch anyone who attacks you with criticism, instead of offering it calmly.

Also, do not take out friends for a while who can't drive, who will want to go to every single Maccies drive thru. They will not understand when you are stressed or be much helpful to your questions. Other drivers are your friends, people who have not even had a lesson are not in these situations.

Try driving alone out of commuting hours, evenings after 6:30 on quiet roads. Take routes you know, and take it easy.

Just for the heads up, you will eventually get used to your car. I took a lot of stalling and swearing at my car (including kicking it, and refusing to drive it after stalling in a car park) but one day it will click, similar to the car you learnt in.

Reply 5

username1500433

Listen to Morgan Freeman. Has a very calm and reassuring voice.

Reply 6

Sam280297

Original post by pottery7

Just take it easy when you go out. Drive around places that you know to build up your confidence. I felt similar after I'd passed my test and was petrified to drive. I made a fair few mistakes in my first few weeks and came across a few angry drivers along the way, but came out on the other end with bags of confidence, and it now seems second nature to me to drive. You'll be the same after a few weeks. I knew plenty of people who felt the same as me about driving and they're fine now as well.

Reply 7

HollyMac457

I'm the same, only passed my test last week but I dread getting in my mum's 1.2 litre as it's so different to my instructors car :frown:

. I'm so lucky because my parents are getting a new car and have offered to give me theirs, which I feel so happy about but I am terrified of going in the thing :O It's so annoying because if it was the same car I'd learnt in I would feel confident but every time I get in it it's like learning to drive all over again :angry:

Reply 8

pottery7

Thanks guys,
I have taken the advice and been doing little journeys to places that i know well, sometimes with a friend, and so far it's ok but I just make little mistakes and feel awful and it really puts me off! Like occasionally not checking a mirror when turning or wondering whether I shouldn't have pulled out at a give way line (the approaching car was a little way away) and just now when turning left onto a main road I swerved a little too close to the centre line because I'm not quite used to the weight of the car! Is it normal to make mistakes?

Reply 9

tinkerbell_xxx

Original post by pottery7

Yes it is don't worry :smile:

I passed 4 months ago but still haven't driven alone yet haha. I always drive my parents around and I still make mistakes like stalling in silly places.
Keep making short journeys to places you know and gradually make them longer until you feel comfortable.
As long as you stay safe its fine :smile:

If you really don't feel good about it, see if your instructor would do some pass plus lessons (or just accompany you) while you drive your car