I have never had a group of friends :(

So I'm 20 and I have never got to be 'one of the girls' and maybe it is because secondary school didn't go too well or something but now I feel like I have missed out majorly. Plus, I don't want people to think I'm weird when I say I'm not going out drinking or to the cinema because I don't have a group of friends to do that with.
How can I make sure I don't highlight myself as a weirdo in uni?

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Reply 1

bailfire

Original post by Anonymous

Lets make a group here, we'll start with me and you..anyone else want to join?

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

I'm wondering the same and I'm 19 but a guy instead, I never know what to say when people ask who are your close friends or what do you like to do with your fiends, as I never get invited out, I hope university doesn't turn out the same :redface:

Reply 3

RomNoob

At uni?... I might be a bit too early for that xD

Reply 4

Anonymous #3

IT WILL HAPPEN at uni!!!!!!! Don't worry and just be yourselves when you get there :biggrin:

Reply 5

shawn_o1

Never had that problem at uni, just got on with work (and still got a first)

Reply 6

Urahara

I'm the same really, I've never had many friends. 1 - 2 that I meet up with once a week but other than that just a lot of acquaintances and work colleagues.

This is one of the things I can't wait for at university, meeting a whole LOAD of new friends and like minded people!

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

Original post by Anonymous

I'm a bit worried that I have missed my chance to be part of a group of friends because in uni everyone will already have their groups of friends and i'll just seem like an intruder..so i'll end up flittering from one group to another because I can't find one to fit into

Reply 8

bumblebee342

I was never part of a big group in school but at uni I made a group of friends on my course and my best friends now are a few people I lived with in first year!
I honestly don't think it matters how many friends you have/have had when you're starting uni - see it as a fresh start and an opportunity to meet people. With uni, everyone's in the same boat, so everyone is looking to make new friends.

Just be open to getting to know people and making friends!

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

Original post by Anonymous

Yeah and I guess it is a bit like a vicious circle because whenever people ask you what your plans are and you just say that you're staying home for evening or whatever then they think that you're not very outgoing and so don't bother asking to do anything.

Reply 10

Brownclown

I've had 1-2 friends during my lifetime. Been out twice with them during the entirety of secondary school and primary school.

Uni hopefully will be different. You need to fake it till you make it I.e even if everyone is annoying as hell just pretend to get along with them. That will stop you getting alienated

Reply 11

MissJGB

Original post by Anonymous

Don't worry about this in uni, you'll meet loads of like-minded people and you might find yourself in loads of different groups of friends.
Honestly, I met all types at uni, I had a group of friends and one-one-one friendships.

I've mostly found that groups of all-female friends can be quite troublesome, so I prefer having random friends rather than a big group.

You definitely won't be a weirdo at uni! :smile:

Reply 12

gifty.t

Aww, im a new memeber on here, and i will take this as an opportunity to be fiends. Also starting uni this september and a bit worried about fiendship groups and all that, but hoping for the best.#fighting.

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

Original post by bumblebee342

That is what I want to do but because I had so much abuse in secondary school and had a horrible reputation (which I'm desperately trying to forget) that I worry about meeting new people in case they know someone who went to my school or heard about me or something. I understand how ridiculous I sound and I wish I could just get a grip but I don't want to relive any part of my secondary education and so this is getting in the way of me socialising like a normal person

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

Original post by Brownclown

That's what I try and do at work...I pretend to be the same as everyone else but sometimes the real me seeps through and I don't think people like it.

Reply 15

Anonymous #1

Original post by bailfire

Lets make a group here, we'll start with me and you..anyone else want to join?

That's a nice idea but i'm so embarrassed about being such a freak socially that I would never be able to tell you guys who I really am so that would kind of ruin the friendship don't you think?

Reply 16

bumblebee342

Original post by Anonymous

Sorry to hear that. Honestly, you just have to try not to worry.
I was the same, someone from my school was supposed to be doing my course, and I worried that she knew me before the whole "fresh start" thing. With uni you're lucky to find anyone you know from before, and if there is someone, you're not likely to see them anyway.

Most of the time uni is very different from secondary school. I saw it as an opportunity to be who I wanted to be and made myself socialise despite not being very confident in talking to people. As I said, everyone is in the same boat, so it's likely that everyone will be awkward

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 17

gifty.t

One of my problems, I can't stand an all girl group of friends and i can't live with them either it has to be MIXED, but my student aaccommodation are all female only. its a bit upsetting. girls and drama are my worst nghtmares

Reply 18

bailfire

Original post by Anonymous

That's a nice idea but i'm so embarrassed about being such a freak socially that I would never be able to tell you guys who I really am so that would kind of ruin the friendship don't you think?

Not being in a group of friends doesn't make you a freak. It just means you haven't met the right people yet. Not everyone will get along with everyone else, good thing about online forums such as these - there are loads of different people and we, contrary to what you may read on here, are nicer than others!

Reply 19

Anonymous #1

Original post by Urahara

See I don't have any close friends..i used to have one or two but we just had a massive argument and the friendship ended there. In my spare time i'm usually at home or in the gym...which sounds a bit pathetic