Cant move on and ex has already had sex with someone else

Hey so firstly idk where to post this I just figured here would be a good place, i'll keep it short as it's kind of a long story so i'll skip alot of the details and get to the problem

im 19, I met this girl around 8 months ago, she recently got dumped by some guy she was crazy in love with despite them only being together for 4 months, we started dating and I guess I was sort of a rebound despite her saying i'm not, I lost my virginity to her (I had something a year ago but i dont count it because it was ****)
So obviously im attatched to her, to cut things short I broke up with her because she was texting her ex and met him after promising she wouldnt, sounds irrational but theres more details and I was in the right, anyways, then a month later she begs to meet me and I invite her round ,reluctantly she comes to mine and we have sex, next morning she starts crying and apparently her ex wanted to get back together after we broke up, she met him, then he changed his mind. So basically she used me.

We met in london and its clear i still loved her but she said she wants to stay single for a while.
I was pissed that she betrayed me like that and decided to go no contact, lets skip to yesterday.

I messaged her drunk and we started talking, I left a voice memo saying how I was there for her when she was upset over her ex and she just used me and threw me away, she sent a 10 minute voice log saying all of her thoughts, then she called me. I Basically found out she started dating this italian guy last month and I said to her "Can I ask you something" She says "is it have i had sex with him" reluctantly I said yes, she said "yes I have" my stomach sank.

This was all today and it hurts me so bad to know the girl Im in love with, that i lost my V to is having sex with someone else. I hate it. How can I deal with this? Im going no contact but I dont want to get weak and message her again

By the way me and her ever having sex or relations again is a complete no, never going to happen

Reply 1

maggie43

Awwww you must be hurt.But I don't know she's right for you.There are so many other girls out there looking for someone like you.Cut off the communication.You'll forget her before you know it. I know you lost your V with her but stay Strong

Reply 2

Rhaegooo

Original post by maggie43

Thank you I'm going to try, it's just so hard to stop thinking about her, idk every thing reminds me of her :frown:

Reply 3

jazjaz

She's just one girl and honestly if she's going to just monkey branch into the next guy's bed after she has disposed of you then you should feel relieved because she's probably not a nice person or has no values.

Reply 4

username944192

Sleep with someone else. 9 times out of 10 it helps because it's broken the physical barrier, she won't be the last person you slept with anymore kind of thing. Has always worked for me.

Reply 5

ActuallyIDo

Original post by infairverona

Sleep with someone else. 9 times out of 10 it helps because it's broken the physical barrier, she won't be the last person you slept with anymore kind of thing. Has always worked for me.

what...

Reply 6

amachine

never fall in love, it works in the most mysterious ways, but mainly to tear your beating heart out and stamp on it till it's nothing more than dust

Reply 7

username944192

Original post by ActuallyIDo

what...

Can I help you?

Reply 8

ActuallyIDo

Original post by infairverona

Can I help you?

you have casual sex to forget someone else....

Reply 9

username944192

Original post by ActuallyIDo

you have casual sex to forget someone else....

I have done...this is a common solution to a common problem

Reply 10

ActuallyIDo

Original post by infairverona

I have done...this is a common solution to a common problem

Reply 11

DanB1991

To be honest if it's a serious relationship, or you are crazy about them it can take a long time to get over them. Just spend some time with mates, admit to yourself you may never know all the reasons 'why' it happened. It's part of your life and you need to move onto your next chapter.

Original post by ActuallyIDo

you have casual sex to forget someone else....

Meh it's crude, but generally works. Only downside is you could be getting that persons hopes up, especially if they have been after you for a while.

Or you end up dropping your emotional baggage on them......

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

The only reason why these things happen, is because a lot of people are dicks and use people for personal gain.

Reply 13

MagicNMedicine

Original post by infairverona

Sleep with someone else. 9 times out of 10 it helps because it's broken the physical barrier, she won't be the last person you slept with anymore kind of thing. Has always worked for me.

Whilst this is true it's not always the most useful advice. It's like saying to someone who is depressed about being made redundant: "just get another job you will feel better". No **** sherlock.

Finding a casual sex option is easier if you are female than male, and easier the more attractive you are. Some people are not surrounded by attention from the opposite sex and it's them that often get hit more by the end of a relationship particularly as they are more likely to have to deal with confidence issues.

I've seen it where a guy's been depressed about the end of a relationship and well-meaning people have pumped him up for going on a night out, saying he'll feel better if he pulls/gets with someone and then he's gone around chatting girls up and getting blanked and rejected and will come back feeling even worse than before.

Reply 14

Rhaegooo

Original post by MagicNMedicine

This one speaks to me, i dont suffer from confidence issues and im not unatttractive like i could pull a one night stand if i tried but to be honest I dont really want to, i obviously need to have sex with someone else in order to start moving on but im not attracted to any girl i see, only my dick of an ex. I have a girl coming around mine in a week maybe something will happen maybe not

Reply 15

jazjaz

Original post by Anonymous

The only reason why these things happen, is because a lot of people are dicks and use people for personal gain.

I would rep but there's no point as you are anon :tongue:

But this sums up so much of attitudes towards dating and relationships nowadays, people just hoping from person to person to get something out of them.

Reply 16

Rhaegooo

So an update, she's most likely not coming back to england because her contract isnt getting renewed so I dont think i'll have to worry about wanting to meet her. The only problem now to be honest is dealing with what i know, the fact i know she's had sex with this new guy is just drilled into my brain and i dont know how to deal with it, i keep trying to distract myself but it keeps creeping back in, will i eventually stop caring? I dont want to feel like this for ever. Im going no contact anyways but whenever i shut my eyes i can just picture her and him ;/