parents want me to cancel my university acceptance despite being registered

she said they're not financing her education regardless of where she goes, whether that is true or not. so I don't agree with the lack of independence being an issue for her. I see what you mean by controlling nature but I hardly think it's that deep. Unless they turn up on campus every weekend or something or phone her everyday or blackmail/threaten her if she doesn't do this or that?

Deteriorating mental health? Lol this isn't Lifetime, but if OP is that fragile, sure.

Yes but my point is that the Uni hasn't been racist, the uni people haven't ostracized anyone from their uni based on race or religion and the people are not racist either so I don't know where the label is coming from or why UEA deserves to have a bad name because of it ? I'm not trying to offend anyone and I certainly wasn't screaming, I was only trying to express that being called racist should be taken more seriously than it is these days.

Lmao just because a white person denies that racism is still a thing doesn't mean that they're right. Sorry.

Life is a competition, racism is annoying but you want to come out on top not bottom, so go to the better uni and come out on top even if its slightly out of your parents comfort zone. Racism is everywhere so you cant avoid it anyway. Just make sure you've got some good come backs to the racist remarks


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lol seems to me like you were indignantly minimising or denouncing it. but ok.

I'm not denying that it exists, I'm simply saying that its wrong to call a place racist when there is no substance to back it up, if people call everyone/thing racist then the word loses its substance and meaning since no-one is taking it seriously.

Fair enough, if she isn't getting help either way, but I would assume that if she went to her parent's uni of choice, they could expect her back home much more often than if she went to UEA, or potentially, they may get her to commute rather than live out as she presumably wants. This isn't just about financial independence.
I wasn't too clear before, but the controlling nature can lead to worse mental health - I'm not saying OP is weak or anything.
Today, her parents decide which uni. Tomorrow, it's whether she can take a job elsewhere, or something like who she marries, as an extreme example, which over time can lead to resentment towards the family. It seems clear that there is already some level of anger present.

Well I'm sorry if that's what came across, I'll take the post down, that wasn't my intention at all :/

Nah, you said that people who are victims of racism call others racist just to be dramatic. That doesn't sit right with me.

But of course, someone who has never had to experience proper racism won't understand, so I'll allow you.

Yeah but just because I'm white, that doesn't automatically mean I'm never going to experience racism?

and everything following after the bold:

that's what I was saying about going first to their Uni of choice and then gaining independence afterwards.
Idk about you or OP but when I started Uni I was dependent on my mum a bit. For quick fivers, residence and advice and all. As my time there went on, I commutd to campus each day from home so whilst at school I was able to come home at any time I wanted and say it was because I studying when I was really out looking for a job or with someone, and learning how to be out on my own. 3 yrs later today I am still facing some struggles but mentally when it comes to independence and my life choices I learnt that by showing I can do whatever I want at Uni. I'm suggesting to her to go and be an adult and suck it up but when it comes to being away from home learn yourself and get work or whatever she needs to do to free herself from her folks healthily, and make your own choices and then transfer next yr with her folks able to say nowt to her. Instead of just taking a train when she needs their financial support to some random Uni.

However she says she doesn't need them financially (okay, she must be a rapper or something to afford that but anyway). So she wants moral support. Meaning she still is in a position to do her own thing.

I get what you're saying, and don't get me wrong, I agree, doing it healthily is the best way possible, and slowly phasing her parents control out would be ideal, but it doesn't seem like the OP has that option, which is why I said what I said.

Yeah but just because I'm white, that doesn't automatically mean I'm never going to experience racism?

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm

don't say hm. She's wrong.

Please explain to me when you experience racism. Not on the level of: racial nicknames like "ghosty."

On the level of not being able to be enrolled or employed somewhere simply

because


white.

Oh, ik she's wrong... I just can't be bothered to have to teach someone what racism is. Like... what?

In her words: as a generation, I thought we were past this stage...

No I get you as well, I'm just saying it's irrelevant to the OP. She has that option if she's not depending on them. Kids or anyone who depend on people for money have no say. Do you understand where I'm coming from when I say that?

Yeah, I understand, the lack of financial independence means you can't put your money where your mouth is, bad pun notwithstanding.
However, if she's not getting the financial support either way, she might as well go to her first choice, not one her parents have picked out for her to maintain control.
This isn't the sort of thing that would lead to her family wanting nothing to do with her, so I think a bit of selfishness in this situation wouldn't be the worst thing.

exactly. you and me don't disagree, it's that I thought OP was saying because her parents won't support her Uni choice she either goes to their choice with their financial support, you know, or fends for herself almost like disowned at her Uni of choice. My advice is applicable to that.

OP is saying though that she fends for herself anyway. So I said to her, then erm do what you want.