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I dislike being female, it really gets md down.

Im past my mid twenties now and still dont like the idea of being female, wearing impractical stuff like skirts, having nails done, hair and all that. Im very into sport, building my body up to be fit/strong and being independant.

Some lads/men about my age were at a party and one was lying down on a car park while another jumped over him in a skateboard. This is what i want to do, show off, be couragious and test myself etc. The women were just stood around in heels talking about shoes and their babies, its this that makes md feel dissapointed. I dont fit in with them at all and almost feel like a male figure around them despite only being 4ft11. ive always wanted to climb buildings etc but at my sge and my gender i'l be seen as odd for joining in all this.

I was just thinking about it earlier and i would have so loved to be a guy. Another big thing that dissapoints me is that im on a time limit i cant have fun till im 55 and then go and have a baby like a man can. Some people also say women get less 'valuble' with age whereas apparantly this doesnt happen with a man as their value all about status etc.

Its just crap being female everything about it imo ive never been feminine or had any female urges at all. My ex bf said i should be getting female urges to dress up etc and that there might be something wrong with me but its how i am.

Id have loved to be a guy id be in the gym bulking up, not having to worry about being attacked when walking alone, not worrying about biological clock, having to dress nice (although i dont anyway). Id just be laid back , carefree and attract girls with my buff physique and enjoy the satisfaction of remainjng valuble whilst i progress up my career. At parties id be doing daft things like kicking balls around, having pressup competitions to show off etc.

Its not that i dislike myself/body or anything im fine with my female body, its just the consequences and all the expectations that come along with it ive just never fitted in anywhere. Apparantly when i was born my dad said that he was glad i was a girl as they look after their patents when they are older. That annoys the hell out of me, he never looked after his mother.

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Original post by Anonymous
Im past my mid twenties now and still dont like the idea of being female, wearing impractical stuff like skirts, having nails done, hair and all that. Im very into sport, building my body up to be fit/strong and being independant.

Some lads/men about my age were at a party and one was lying down on a car park while another jumped over him in a skateboard. This is what i want to do, show off, be couragious and test myself etc. The women were just stood around in heels talking about shoes and their babies, its this that makes md feel dissapointed. I dont fit in with them at all and almost feel like a male figure around them despite only being 4ft11. ive always wanted to climb buildings etc but at my sge and my gender i'l be seen as odd for joining in all this.

I was just thinking about it earlier and i would have so loved to be a guy. Another big thing that dissapoints me is that im on a time limit i cant have fun till im 55 and then go and have a baby like a man can. Some people also say women get less 'valuble' with age whereas apparantly this doesnt happen with a man as their value all about status etc.

Its just crap being female everything about it imo ive never been feminine or had any female urges at all. My ex bf said i should be getting female urges to dress up etc and that there might be something wrong with me but its how i am.

Id have loved to be a guy id be in the gym bulking up, not having to worry about being attacked when walking alone, not worrying about biological clock, having to dress nice (although i dont anyway). Id just be laid back , carefree and attract girls with my buff physique and enjoy the satisfaction of remainjng valuble whilst i progress up my career. At parties id be doing daft things like kicking balls around, having pressup competitions to show off etc.

Its not that i dislike myself/body or anything im fine with my female body, its just the consequences and all the expectations that come along with it ive just never fitted in anywhere. Apparantly when i was born my dad said that he was glad i was a girl as they look after their patents when they are older. That annoys the hell out of me, he never looked after his mother.


I think the major problem that I can pick up on from reading your post is that you are limiting yourself purely because of what you 'think'. I know this is perfectly natural for anyone but you are really shutting yourself down. The things you think and believe, you are powerfully projecting them into everyone and everything around you. It's shutting you down. You don't think they'll agree, you care about what these will think, you are worried what they'll do and so on and so fourth.

If you want to do something 'manly' (I don't understand why you think it has to be manly just because it's something couragious and 'strong' - any woman is as good as a man) then do it! Them lads jumping each other on skateboards, lads just do it because they are board and think it'll be a 'good idea' or 'look cool' - the list is endless. We do stupid stuff out of boredom or like you said, to test ourselves. If you want to do that, then do it. We secertly do it to gain respect from each other and what not. Gain your respect. You are no less than these people that you compare yourself too. Just because the woman stand around in hells and what not doesn't mean you have too - you are limiting yourself when you want to be out there.

You said you would have preferred to be a boy. Are you are boy trapped in a womans body or purely just preferring you'd have been a boy? You need to realise that it doesn't matter that you are a female. You can do anything you want to do if you put your mind too. Stop hating on yourself and use what you've got to do what you want to do. Turn all these negative thoughts and energy into sweating, running, climbing and testing yourself. Don't just talk about it and how you 'wish' you could do it. There is no 'could' about it. You 'CAN' do it. You've just got to believe and stop belitting yourself.

You can do it.
Original post by Anonymous
Im past my mid twenties now and still dont like the idea of being female, wearing impractical stuff like skirts, having nails done, hair and all that. Im very into sport, building my body up to be fit/strong and being independant.

Some lads/men about my age were at a party and one was lying down on a car park while another jumped over him in a skateboard. This is what i want to do, show off, be couragious and test myself etc. The women were just stood around in heels talking about shoes and their babies, its this that makes md feel dissapointed. I dont fit in with them at all and almost feel like a male figure around them despite only being 4ft11. ive always wanted to climb buildings etc but at my sge and my gender i'l be seen as odd for joining in all this.

I was just thinking about it earlier and i would have so loved to be a guy. Another big thing that dissapoints me is that im on a time limit i cant have fun till im 55 and then go and have a baby like a man can. Some people also say women get less 'valuble' with age whereas apparantly this doesnt happen with a man as their value all about status etc.

Its just crap being female everything about it imo ive never been feminine or had any female urges at all. My ex bf said i should be getting female urges to dress up etc and that there might be something wrong with me but its how i am.

Id have loved to be a guy id be in the gym bulking up, not having to worry about being attacked when walking alone, not worrying about biological clock, having to dress nice (although i dont anyway). Id just be laid back , carefree and attract girls with my buff physique and enjoy the satisfaction of remainjng valuble whilst i progress up my career. At parties id be doing daft things like kicking balls around, having pressup competitions to show off etc.

Its not that i dislike myself/body or anything im fine with my female body, its just the consequences and all the expectations that come along with it ive just never fitted in anywhere. Apparantly when i was born my dad said that he was glad i was a girl as they look after their patents when they are older. That annoys the hell out of me, he never looked after his mother.


Far too long, not reading all that.

MDMA though, you say?
I don't get why you can't just go out and do all that stuff. No one is stopping you.
Original post by JustGeorgeJ
I think the major problem that I can pick up on from reading your post is that you are limiting yourself purely because of what you 'think'. I know this is perfectly natural for anyone but you are really shutting yourself down. The things you think and believe, you are powerfully projecting them into everyone and everything around you. It's shutting you down. You don't think they'll agree, you care about what these will think, you are worried what they'll do and so on and so fourth.

If you want to do something 'manly' (I don't understand why you think it has to be manly just because it's something couragious and 'strong' - any woman is as good as a man) then do it! Them lads jumping each other on skateboards, lads just do it because they are board and think it'll be a 'good idea' or 'look cool' - the list is endless. We do stupid stuff out of boredom or like you said, to test ourselves. If you want to do that, then do it. We secertly do it to gain respect from each other and what not. Gain your respect. You are no less than these people that you compare yourself too. Just because the woman stand around in hells and what not doesn't mean you have too - you are limiting yourself when you want to be out there.

You said you would have preferred to be a boy. Are you are boy trapped in a womans body or purely just preferring you'd have been a boy? You need to realise that it doesn't matter that you are a female. You can do anything you want to do if you put your mind too. Stop hating on yourself and use what you've got to do what you want to do. Turn all these negative thoughts and energy into sweating, running, climbing and testing yourself. Don't just talk about it and how you 'wish' you could do it. There is no 'could' about it. You 'CAN' do it. You've just got to believe and stop belitting yourself.

You can do it.


+1
Original post by Anonymous
Im past my mid twenties now and still dont like the idea of being female, wearing impractical stuff like skirts, having nails done, hair and all that. Im very into sport, building my body up to be fit/strong and being independant.

Some lads/men about my age were at a party and one was lying down on a car park while another jumped over him in a skateboard. This is what i want to do, show off, be couragious and test myself etc. The women were just stood around in heels talking about shoes and their babies, its this that makes md feel dissapointed. I dont fit in with them at all and almost feel like a male figure around them despite only being 4ft11. ive always wanted to climb buildings etc but at my sge and my gender i'l be seen as odd for joining in all this.

I was just thinking about it earlier and i would have so loved to be a guy. Another big thing that dissapoints me is that im on a time limit i cant have fun till im 55 and then go and have a baby like a man can. Some people also say women get less 'valuble' with age whereas apparantly this doesnt happen with a man as their value all about status etc.

Its just crap being female everything about it imo ive never been feminine or had any female urges at all. My ex bf said i should be getting female urges to dress up etc and that there might be something wrong with me but its how i am.

Id have loved to be a guy id be in the gym bulking up, not having to worry about being attacked when walking alone, not worrying about biological clock, having to dress nice (although i dont anyway). Id just be laid back , carefree and attract girls with my buff physique and enjoy the satisfaction of remainjng valuble whilst i progress up my career. At parties id be doing daft things like kicking balls around, having pressup competitions to show off etc.

Its not that i dislike myself/body or anything im fine with my female body, its just the consequences and all the expectations that come along with it ive just never fitted in anywhere. Apparantly when i was born my dad said that he was glad i was a girl as they look after their patents when they are older. That annoys the hell out of me, he never looked after his mother.


Don't let your gender be the reason you decide to not do things or feel you can't do these things! :smile:

I know plenty of girls who don't like dressing up, doing their hair. They prefer to be laid back and care free too. So simple as, that's what they do! :tongue: I think right now you just feel like the minority, and you should venture and try to find girls with similar interests as you, or continue to hang out with the guys as you already do. Nothing wrong with that, almost all my friends are girls and I couldn't care less about all my friends being the opposite gender and they couldn't care less about my gender either. I'm sure your guy friends love having you as a friend and enjoy hanging out with you, and couldn't be any less phased by the fact you're female.

Everyone has a couple of traits that are unconventional to their gender. I enjoy clothes shopping, gossiping, getting my hair done, I occasionally even put on nail polish because I find it fun! Meanwhile I detest sport and 'showing off', obviously all far from my stereotype expectations.

My point is, if you enjoy something do it. I do whatever I like and don't care what anyone says. You do not have to conform to gender stereotyping. :biggrin: Don't let not being the stereotype be a bad thing, think of it as an awesome and unique trait of yours, embrace it.
(edited 8 years ago)
Reply 6
Original post by Anonymous
Its just crap being female everything about it imo ive never been feminine or had any female urges at all. My ex bf said i should be getting female urges to dress up etc and that there might be something wrong with me but its how i am.


You made a similar thread ("Broke up with boyfriend why was he so concerned about how I dress") a week ago didn't you?

If you are actually still unhappy about this you can always PM me, but like others have posted you can be whoever you want to be. It seems the problems you are having concern your feeling of identity which at the end of the day is something you decide and can be decided only by you.
just do the opposite of what Bruce Jenner did
So many women wish they had a body like yours.
You don't have to get your nails done, dress up in skirts, wear heels and talk about babies to be a female. I hardly do this (except for wearing skirts) and I'm barely critiqued for it.

There are women who hate painting their nails because they can't do it themselves or they think it looks awful.

There are women who hate wearing skirts because it's revealing or because trousers are more comfortable.

There are women who hate wearing heels because its painful and they can't walk in it or maybe they're too tall to walk in it.

There are women who avoid baby talk because they can't have babies, or they don't want babies.

You don't need to follow the stereotypical view of a female to be a female. The only problem here is that you're worried about what other people thought if you started doing 'guy' things. But you shouldn't care as long as it makes you happy. And who says you can't go gym, tone up and impress the guys? As for your last point, whether you were a lad or a lass I'm assuming you would help your parents are an older age anyways.

Ever heard of a tomboy? Yeah I'm sure we all have. Its not strange anymore. You don't need surgery or whatnot, you just need to learn that 'fitting in' isn't that necessary, but being happy, certainly is.

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(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous
just do the opposite of what Bruce Jenner did


Her name is Caitlyn.

And yeah - OP, you mentioned "feeling like a guy" at one point... So I'd say there is the possibility you might be trans. Although then again you might not be... Only you can know :smile:

If you feel this unhappy about being a girl, look into it and see what you think. You'll probably be a lot happier for figuring it out...

EDIT: Read your post again, realised that you said you're completely fine with your body and wanted to say that this doesn't mean you're not trans. Plenty of trans people don't want to change their body at all, and the idea that trans people have to have surgery to be valid is just plain harmful.
(edited 8 years ago)
Thought this was another I want a sex change thread.

But you're just a tomboy really.

Go play out! **** them.
Original post by rachel x
Her name is Caitlyn.

And yeah - OP, you mentioned "feeling like a guy" at one point... So I'd say there is the possibility you might be trans. Although then again you might not be... Only you can know :smile:

If you feel this unhappy about being a girl, look into it and see what you think. You'll probably be a lot happier for figuring it out...

EDIT: Read your post again, realised that you said you're completely fine with your body and wanted to say that this doesn't mean you're not trans. Plenty of trans people don't want to change their body at all, and the idea that trans people have to have surgery to be valid is just plain harmful.


Don't you just think OP is a tomboy?

Posted from TSR Mobile
I'm a girl who has never worn a drop of makeup, plans to join a rugby club, and wants to do engineering as a profession. I am totally happy with who I am.

There really isn't anything stopping you from being who you want to be. The idea that women need to behave a certain way to be validated is sexist to boot, and limits us as a gender.

In the words of the Messiah, Shia LaBeouf, JUST DO IT!!!
Original post by angelcake123
Don't you just think OP is a tomboy?

Posted from TSR Mobile


That's possible, yeah - but from this post we can't know everything they're feeling, and plenty of people had already mentioned that possibility (that they're a tomboy).

I'm not saying they're definitely trans, but I'm saying its a possibility they should look into. Whether or not they end up identifying as trans or not, it's probably better for them if they're 100% sure.
OP, just make sure you have your kids by 34/35, otherwise firstly there's a greater chance of it simply not working, secondly greater risk of complications/miscarriage and third;y greater risk of problems with the child (such as Down's Syndrome)

This still gives you around 10 years to do whatever.
Original post by sandvika
If you want people to accept you as a man then be a t

Posted from TSR Mobile


I don't know if you realise this but that word is considered offensive, please don't use it. 'Trans person' is an alternative.
Reply 17
I don't think any of us can meaningfully tell you what you are but I think you need to do so some more thinking and reading helps me. I think you should read around different conceptions of gender (queer theory mostly) as well as the variety of trans identities. I'm not saying you are trans but that you should explore different experiences and ideas to help you figure out where you fit amongst it.

My Gender Workbook by Kate Bornstein is much better than the name would suggest, she's generally awesome and makes quite academic theory accessible and personal
Stanford Encyclopaedia of Philosophy has a good section on gender- free online
Tumblr is full of queer stuff though I don't use it so no idea how useful it is
There's tonnes of good blogs- a couple that spring to mind, which also have links to others, look more at tags/popular than recent

Hopefully those would give you enough ideas to go googling and learning more
Meh I tread the line finely between feminine and tomboy. I wear skirts but I'm not into makeup too much. I only get a pedicure because feet are disgusting and they need to be less so. I've taken up boxing but I still like dance, cycling and spin in the gym

Just do what you want OP.
Original post by rachel x
That's possible, yeah - but from this post we can't know everything they're feeling, and plenty of people had already mentioned that possibility (that they're a tomboy).

I'm not saying they're definitely trans, but I'm saying its a possibility they should look into. Whether or not they end up identifying as trans or not, it's probably better for them if they're 100% sure.


100% agree. Even if they're not trans, they could be genderfluid. It's always good, in any case, to reflect upon yourself and understand the reasons behind why you're unhappy.

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