What would you do in my situation?

33.33.33

I started uni last term and everything was and still is great, I love my new friends etc but one. We normally get on really well except she's recently, say since christmas been really getting on my nerves. When she started university she didn't drink and she didn't go out. Now she's completely changed that and started binge drinking not because she wants to but because she wants to appear "cool" to others. Every morning she'll moan about how drunk she was or whatever so that people think she's really cool. It's the kind of behaviour you'd expect from a 15 year old really.

She also lies, about really stupid things like when she went to bed or how many people she pulled on a night out. Sick of it.

We're now househunting and she's irritating me again. It's me organising all the visits and co-ordinating the whole affair, ringing people and doing all the work. She's not putting in any effort and moans about houses to me as if it's my fault that they aren't what we want. At least i'm trying!

One of my biggest issues is that she is eating my food. I know this because she cuts cheese in certain ways, always has glasses of OJ when mine has run out etc, it's just bloody obvious basically. Anyway, she gets so bothered when i ask her for food so i don't bother anymore. You know, just a slice of bread or whatever but the cheeky thing won't ever say yes or if she does assumes it's fine to drink my tropicana or expensive cheese. These are things i buy as a treat and are my extravagant items that I want to enjoy. It's just not fair.

My latest problem is that in october she bought some shopping for me because i had forgotten my card, it was £17 but i called it twenty for the sake of it. for the week after she was using me as a cash machine basically and asking me to buy her drinks willy nilly. I almost certainly paid her back £10+ more if not the whole amount. My problem now is that she seperately owed another mutual friend £20 so instead of paying him she's decided to cut out the middle man, i.e. her, and say that I owe him £20. He's not pestering me for money that I shouldn't be giving anyone. I feel very out of pocket.

This girl is an embarassment. She's constantly showing off an behaves like an idiot a lot of the time. Her life seems to revolve around being cool and showing everyone that. She steals from me and tries to embarass me infront of other people.

What i want to know is how can I:

A) let her know i'm aware she's stealing from me and prevent it
B) tell her she's behaving like a 15 year old who's just discoverd boys and alcohol
C) approach her about this money thing, keeping in mind it was four months ago that she lent me the money in the first place and i doubt she'll even remember using me as a cash point

eurgh sorry mega rant, thanks!

Reply 1

sjuthani

I'd go for all three of A, B and C.

She needs to grow up, and I don't think she's going to realise until you knock it into her.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

best thing, get a bikini wax, always helps

Reply 3

Cyclotron

get a grip.

first, why do you want to find a house with this person? you dont. if really you do then tell her she can find some herself as youve found a load yourself ... reasonable enough

the food... tell her to stop eating your food, you know she is and its not on

the money... tell her you bought her enough drinks to cover what you owed her, that she can pay the guy off herself, tell him she owes the money aswell, not you. and if she moans bring up the food thing

sorted!

Reply 4

thatwhichiam

If you don't want to confront her, write out a note for your kitchen saying you don't know who's doing it but someone's stealing your food, see if she gets the hint that way (although I have my doubts that'll work on her from everything else youve said...).

However, I think the only way you can get through to her how much she's bothering you is by actually confronting her about all the issues, all at the same time preferably.

Reply 5

Yoda

I was going to say in your situation I wouldn't write so much, but it was quite an interesting read.

I would personally have a go at her. Big argument. If shes still pissing you around then find someone else to get a house with. I wouldn't be friends with someone like that. Binge drinking is my job.

Reply 6

sahsum

Do your other friends realise what a dick she's being? So long as they agree with you I don't think you've got anything to worry about. I agree with others who have said have it out with her. You definately appear to have the stronger arguement and if you really stand your ground she won't have a leg to stand on. people like her really annoy me too! i bet u just want to grab her and shake her! sooo...
a) either be extreme and measure how much cheese u have etc tell her ur doing it so she knows she will get caught. or.. store your food in your room or someone elses cupboard.

b) just tell her exactly that! maybe begin it in a jokey sense, but she'll still get the message.

c) tell her bluntly "i paid you back already and you know it so go find someone else to scavange off"

you should stick up for urself she sounds like a ******

Reply 7

wackysparkle

i don't get it............... if you seriously don't like this girl, why are you sharing a house with her next year?
that aside

just tell her flat out whats on your mind - no beating round the bush with this one -- i mean, if you can post here un-anonymously and also tell us exactly what is bugging you about this girl, you can tell her flat out as well.