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Do I really have to go clubbing??

I hate clubbing. I HATE it. I can't dance, I don't like dance music, I don't like sweaty strangers in my personal space, I don't like being hit on by people I know don't find my attractive and I don't like dense crowds.

I do, however, like going to the pub and having the odd drink, and conversing with people who I know and like, and being in bed before 2am. :P

The thing is, Freshers week is in 3 weeks and I'm getting the assumption from some people that if I don't get dangerously hammered every night that week in a club then I'm not going to have any friends all through university. Sounds pretty stupid to me, andis actually stressing me out thinking about it . I'm not a heavy drinker either, but I'll have a couple depending on who I'm with.

I guess my point is, is this true in any way? Because I'm starting to seriously wonder if there's something wrong with my preferences. Don't get me wrong, I'll go out once or twice to see what it's about, but do I really want to risk being a so-and-so by making myself go out every night spending money I can't afford to spend on something I honestly hate?

Sorry for being wordy. I'm getting really anxious about it. And I'm not just talking about uni, I mean in general too, because if I'm going to have to get used to doing this I'll have to start now, where I can come home safely. :smile:
(edited 8 years ago)

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I'm 15, so let that speak for itself.
I don't think you should go out of your way to make friends by being miserable.
I think alcohol is disgusting and would rarely/never drink it, I hope this wouldn't affect friend making, but at the end of the day it's their loss if they miss out on being friends with someone who doesn't want to feel physically ill due to intoxication and exhaustion.

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Hear hear.

Clubs are awful in pretty much every metric, especially social interaction which becomes rapidly impossible in the sheer volume. The only reasons people go there are 1. to pull and 2. to dance (those who enjoy dancing for its own worth). Even then, I don't know why the waste such large amounts of money going to such poor venues to do so, but w/e floats their boat.
Erm no one is going to force you ya know, if you can't hack it don't do it.
My goodness, there is someone else who shares these feelings with me. I don't HATE clubbing quite as much since I can lose myself in the music and just dance a little. But other people are happy to stay for hours on end, till about 3 in the morning, when my feet were hurting and I wanted to go home far before that. Plus it's a fair amount of money for something I don't overly enjoy. Other people are convincing me to spend money on tickets for freshers events that, being the broke jobless student that I am, I find are too expensive. I don't even want to go clubbing when I've moved to a new place. I'll be on edge and stressed out, being in a cramped space with lots of strangers won't help that. However, I've been told it's the way people get to know each other and I don't want to be known as the girl who doesn't like to go out and have fun. I'd appreciate some advice too, but it's good to know I'm not the only one.
(edited 8 years ago)
No, of course you don't have to go to clubs if you don't want to. There are plenty of ways to make friends at uni that don't involve clubbing. Societies, people you live with in your halls, people on your course, sports clubs to name a few. Freshers week at my uni had lots of events during the day too that you could meet people at. You just have to get stuck in :biggrin:

Its really nothing to worry about! Welcome to uni life, where you can do what you want and its pretty easy to find like minded people. You're definitely not alone in the not clubbing sense, I know plenty of folk who don't like it.
Reply 6
Wow didn't realise so many people get it . :smile: Eva you make a solid point, but I have a pathetic inability to make good friends, and I'm very worried that if I don't do what everyone else is doing and take part in those parties/events I won't make any. Alas, it should be as simple as 'don't like it, don't do it', unfortunately it is not.

Harleen (nice icon :P) I was told by a friend who doesn't even drink that she felt that if she hadn't gone clubbing every night at freshers she wouldn't be friends with anyone in her flat, and she's way better with people than I am. That scares me.
Original post by Dreambug101
I hate clubbing. I HATE it. I can't dance, I don't like dance music, I don't like sweaty strangers in my personal space, I don't like being hit on by people I know don't find my attractive and I don't like dense crowds.

I do, however, like going to the pub and having the odd drink, and conversing with people who I know and like, and being in bed before 2am. :P

The thing is, Freshers week is in 3 weeks and I'm getting the assumption from some people that if I don't get dangerously hammered every night that week in a club then I'm not going to have any friends all through university. Sounds pretty stupid to me, andis actually stressing me out thinking about it . I'm not a heavy drinker either, but I'll have a couple depending on who I'm with.

I guess my point is, is this true in any way? Because I'm starting to seriously wonder if there's something wrong with my preferences. Don't get me wrong, I'll go out once or twice to see what it's about, but do I really want to risk being a so-and-so by making myself go out every night spending money I can't afford to spend on something I honestly hate?

Sorry for being wordy. I'm getting really anxious about it. And I'm not just talking about uni, I mean in general too, because if I'm going to have to get used to doing this I'll have to start now, where I can come home safely. :smile:


Not at all, but for freshers i'd at least go out and hate it a little so you can meet people you can chill in the pub / watch films with.
Original post by Dreambug101
Wow didn't realise so many people get it . :smile: Eva you make a solid point, but I have a pathetic inability to make good friends, and I'm very worried that if I don't do what everyone else is doing and take part in those parties/events I won't make any. Alas, it should be as simple as 'don't like it, don't do it', unfortunately it is not.

Harleen (nice icon :P) I was told by a friend who doesn't even drink that she felt that if she hadn't gone clubbing every night at freshers she wouldn't be friends with anyone in her flat, and she's way better with people than I am. That scares me.


You really don't have to worry about that at all! I don't like clubbing either and I see it like this: You want to find like-minded people and those people will probably be as scared as you are right now so they either won't go clubbing or feel uncomfortable with it and prefer to find friends elsewhere. You will definitely find them elsewhere and throughout the year :smile:
I'd definitely crumble and get lonely if clubbing was the only option to make friends at university. xD


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Reply 9
Original post by seyrose
No, of course you don't have to go to clubs if you don't want to. There are plenty of ways to make friends at uni that don't involve clubbing. Societies, people you live with in your halls, people on your course, sports clubs to name a few. Freshers week at my uni had lots of events during the day too that you could meet people at. You just have to get stuck in :Its really nothing to worry about! Welcome to uni life, where you can do what you want and its pretty easy to find like minded people. You're definitely not alone in the not clubbing sense, I know plenty of folk who don't like it.





Thank you! The student union at the uni I'm going to is incredible so I hope they do have some good events on, I just get anxious about stuff when I'm in a minority, and I really want to be as friendly as possible. :smile: but thank you so much for the advice, it's so helpful.
You don't have to, no. I felt the same as you starting uni though - couldn't stand the thought of being in a club and thought I'd stay in and have no friends. I went out with my flatmates anyway though, and although I disliked the clubs and only had a couple of drinks, it meant that I had a laugh and got close to the people I lived with.

You don't have to go out everyday and get plastered, but I'd recommend taking part in some of it.
Original post by Dreambug101
Harleen (nice icon :P) I was told by a friend who doesn't even drink that she felt that if she hadn't gone clubbing every night at freshers she wouldn't be friends with anyone in her flat, and she's way better with people than I am. That scares me.


Thank you! I feel like a lot of people are scared by it....

Even if it's meant to be a good way to make friends, I feel as if I won't associate well with the people I would meet there anyway. People who go clubbing in freshers week are going to be most likely those who enjoy it and want to do it frequently. If I were to make friends with those who mostly go clubbing if they go out, it feels like an exercise in futility. As seyrose has suggested, I'd much rather make friends during day events or just ones that aren't clubbing. I feel as if I'm more likely to meet people I have interests in common with.
Original post by Dreambug101
Thank you! The student union at the uni I'm going to is incredible so I hope they do have some good events on, I just get anxious about stuff when I'm in a minority, and I really want to be as friendly as possible. :smile: but thank you so much for the advice, it's so helpful.


No problem! There is so much more to uni life than getting smashed, I bet you're going to have a fab time. Biggest advice from me is to join clubs you're interested in, its an easy way to find people that you automatically have something in common with :smile:
I've got a feeling you might enjoy Radiohead. Not Kid A though.
Thank you so much for the helpful tips, guys. :smile: you've really put me at ease. I'll check out what clubs the uni has on to see what potential events they might have on that week, and take it from there. ^_^
Original post by Dreambug101
I can't dance


You're a girl and you can't dance?

You have no chance in life.
Original post by ManiWembley
I've got a feeling you might enjoy Radiohead. Not Kid A though.


Haha what makes you think that? :P
Original post by Dreambug101
x

You don't have to go out every night of the week, maybe go once or twice though. You might be surprised - I found clubs at uni a lot less forced and more relaxed and friendly than at home. You can always try sticking to the smoking garden if there's one.

You don't have to go clubbing to make friends - you'll make friends with your flatmates, coursemates and in societies that you join. No need to stress!
Original post by Dreambug101
Haha what makes you think that? :P


Head fans are mostly student anti-clubbers. The 90s Smiths if ever there was one.
Original post by TitanicTeutonicPhil
You're a girl and you can't dance?

You have no chance in life.


That's the most tragic thing you got from that? XD

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