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Giving up your seat on public transport for a pregnant lady

I would definitely give my seat up for an elderly lady/gent or someone who was injured or physically disabled. For sure. But I am not sure why so many people look down on men who don't give their seats up for pregnant women.

I don't understand. I mean.... they chose to put themselves in such a predicament. Why are we treating them like damsels in distress when this is what they wanted? No one suffers the effects of prolonged aging, or injures themselves or becomes disabled by choice. But women choose to have a babies, at least in this country. This to me, exempts them from automatic special rights to my seat. If they are looking tired or downtrodden then I may still do it if I myself am not too tired as I feel it would be kind as they would benefit from it a lot more than me.

But if they do not look that tired, or if I am tired from walking around town for 5 hours, or if they just rudely approach me with an air of belligerent entitlement, then, assuming that it is not written in the rules of the seating area I am occupying, I will not give them my seat. And it is society that is being unreasonable in looking down on me for not bending over backwards to suit her own life choice. Thoughts?

EDIT: Someone mentioned that they are more likely to fall on the bus, which could be damaging for her and the baby if they did. It seems obvious now, but earlier I did not think of this. I am finding this to be quite a compelling reason to give up my seat for them. Not entirely decided as to their seemingly 'automatic' right to my seat, but I am definitely feeling more inclined to get up for them.
(edited 8 years ago)

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hell na, I want them to stand there and think about their life decisions.
The fact is they are carrying extra weight around that they normally wouldn't be, many pregnant women experience back pain due to their pregnancy, if giving up a seat prevents someone from unnecessary pain then I'm happy to do so. Its common decency, I have given up my seat on a bus for many other people, elderly, disabled and pregnant alike, despite my own feelings at the time.
Pro tip: sit at the back in the corner. That way, she'll have to pass all of the seats with the other passengers who would then have to be in that sort of predicament.

It isn't being mean, just...it's a way of avoiding awkwardness.

I'd still give up my seat if someone wanted it, or for someone who was elderly, or who was pregnant etc, but I'm not going to lie, I wouldn't want to be in that situation to have to do so. It would just be...totes awks.
Also, its worth noting that many transport providers have guidelines considered as the 'right etiquette' to be followed and these often include not eating on buses, not putting feet up on seats and giving up seats to those that need it including pregnant women!
If they look like they would be suffering by standing up, I would give up my seat for them as I'm healthy enough to be standing. It's just nice to help others.
I wouldn't give up my seat to a fat woman (yeah it's the same thing)
but if they began going into labour right then and there, I think I'd be doing more than giving her a seat on the bus...
Original post by jammy4041
Pro tip: sit at the back in the corner. That way, she'll have to pass all of the seats with the other passengers who would then have to be in that sort of predicament.

It isn't being mean, just...it's a way of avoiding awkwardness.

I'd still give up my seat if someone wanted it, or for someone who was elderly, or who was pregnant etc, but I'm not going to lie, I wouldn't want to be in that situation to have to do so. It would just be...totes awks.


+1

I have nothing against it, it's just such an awkward situation to be in. So I agree on the advice of sitting in the back so they have loads of other people to ask first.
Original post by Stephanie_12
The fact is they are carrying extra weight around that they normally wouldn't be, many pregnant women experience back pain due to their pregnancy, if giving up a seat prevents someone from unnecessary pain then I'm happy to do so. Its common decency, I have given up my seat on a bus for many other people, elderly, disabled and pregnant alike, despite my own feelings at the time.


True. But again, they chose to carry extra weight and severely increase their risk of back pain. They made that choice.

There have been several occasions where I come back from a very long journey, carrying 2 very heavy bags and a heavy suitcase. Having had a 20+ hour plane journey, then walking for half an hour through the city to my bus stop to take the bus home, still suffering from the residual allergic symptoms I suffer from on planes. I can never sleep well on plane journeys because of my allergies and general discomfort so I am always exhausted and laden with heavy ****. What gives them greater rights to a seat than me in that situation? I'm also tired and carrying a lot of extra weight! But I never expect the right to a seat if they are all taken.
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by The Good Doctor
True. But again, they chose to carry extra weight and severely increase their risk of back pain. They made that choice.

There have been several occasions where I come back from a very long journey, carrying 2 very heavy bags and a heavy suitcase. Having had a 20+ hour plane journey, then walking for half an hour through the city to my bus stop to take the bus home. I can never sleep well on plane journeys so I am always exhausted and laden with heavy ****. What gives them greater rights to a seat than me in that situation? I'm also tired and carrying a lot of extra weight!


It really doesn't matter that they made the choice to get pregnant, but that they are pregnant. They have to put up with nine months of it, not a few hours of tiredness! Also, remember that you chose to take a plane journey and take heavy luggage, that doesn't mean you aren't entitled to a seat, just that I wouldn't consider it a priority to give my seat up to you like I would give up my seat for a pregnant woman if I had to make a choice between the two. I just think its the right thing to do.
I never give up a seat for anyone. I'll look them right in the eye, sit back, and relax.
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kka25
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Original post by zippity.doodah
I wouldn't give up my seat to a fat woman (yeah it's the same thing)
but if they began going into labour right then and there, I think I'd be doing more than giving her a seat on the bus...


Fat women can go into labour? I wonder what would come out of it.
Original post by Stephanie_12
The fact is they are carrying extra weight around that they normally wouldn't be, many pregnant women experience back pain due to their pregnancy, if giving up a seat prevents someone from unnecessary pain then I'm happy to do so. Its common decency, I have given up my seat on a bus for many other people, elderly, disabled and pregnant alike, despite my own feelings at the time.


Then they should LIFT at the gym. How do soldiers carry battle kit hmm?
Original post by The Good Doctor
I would definitely give my seat up for an elderly lady/gent or someone who was injured or physically disabled. For sure. But I am not sure why so many people look down on men who don't give their seats up for pregnant women.

I don't understand. I mean.... they chose to put themselves in such a predicament. Why are we treating them like damsels in distress when this is what they wanted? No one suffers the effects of prolonged aging, or injures themselves or becomes disabled by choice. But women choose to have a babies, at least in this country. This to me, exempts them from automatic special rights to my seat. If they are looking tired or downtrodden then I may still do it if I myself am not too tired as I feel it would be kind as they would benefit from it a lot more than me.

But if they do not look that tired, or if I am tired from walking around town for 5 hours, or if they just rudely approach me with an air of belligerent entitlement, then, assuming that it is not written in the rules of the seating area I am occupying, I will not give them my seat. And it is society that is being unreasonable in looking down on me for not bending over backwards to suit her own life choice. Thoughts?


Being pregnant is painful and can be just a difficult to deal with as disabilities. Being considerate to pregnant women should be out of respect for the fact they are gonna be in pain, worn out and tired a lot longer then you are because when you get of the bus and go to bed you can actually have a good nights rest and they do this to carry on the human race and out of love. It's difficult, men don't have to deal with it ever,so can we just give pregnant people a break because not having control of your body for 9months isn't fun but we need someone to do it.


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I dislike the giving up your seat thing. I have no problem doing it for old people but it's pretty awkward when you can't work out if a woman is just fat or actually pregnant. Don't wanna insult :colondollar:
Original post by kka25
Fat women can go into labour? I wonder what would come out of it.


fat women are too lazy to go into labour
Pregnant women are generally more vulnerable relative to others as with old age. Their ability to run away from danger diminishes as their pregnancy progresses. So people tend to be more caring towards pregnant mothers (to be) and this has been passed on down generations.

Evolutionary psychology I guess. Tribes who did not care for their elderly and pregnant women were not successful and so we don't see this behaviour in today's society :smile:
Original post by thisistheend
Then they should LIFT at the gym. How do soldiers carry battle kit hmm?


Pregnant women should 'lift; at the gym? I'm all for staying healthy and getting regular exercise, but I certainly wouldn't expect a pregnant woman to 'lift'. Lifting isn't going to reduce the pressure of having a swollen stomach with a baby inside is it? And to suggest pregnant women should when there is no clear understanding of how this may impact the baby is just ignorant! There is a reason that pregnant women aren't supposed to carry heavy object after a certain point, it could increase the risk of miscarriage whilst also increasing pressure on the back!
The buses and trains I get on are never busy enough for me to have to give up my seat. Asking them if they would like my seat would require actually talking to them though - I would like to think I would but I probably wouldn't. By the time I had weighed up the pros and cons we would be there already :3
Original post by Sabertooth
I dislike the giving up your seat thing. I have no problem doing it for old people but it's pretty awkward when you can't work out if a woman is just fat or actually pregnant. Don't wanna insult :colondollar:


If you can't tell if they are pregnant or just fat then they aren't pregnant enough to NEED a seat. < at least that's the rule I sorta go by


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