What does a man do that annoys you when he is on the pursue?

Other than being ugly.

Every girl I have tried to pursue becomes irritated with me at somd point.

Someone tag foo.mp3 in here please. On my mobile cant tag.

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Original post by Foo.mp3

Simplest thing to do is to flip social intelligence to 'ON' and turn the tables e.g. examine your behaviour from a female perspective. Typically it's things like:

• Pestering vs. ignoring
• Creepy vs. uninterested
• Cringe vs. dry
• Insensitive vs. overly emotionally affected/pansy ass
• Objectifying vs. not masculine/sexual enough
• Too familiar/presumptuous vs. no rapport/neglecting
• Too laddish/not treating them like a lady vs. too soft/demure

Wouldn't that make you distant and further than her?

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Reply 3

cole-slaw

Describing himself as "pursuing" as if he is hunting a ****ing deer.

Reply 4

MagicNMedicine

Bad spelling/excessive text speak in messages.

Trying to continue boring meaningless conversations by text when the girl isn't really engaging in the conversation - hoping that if you keep the convo going long enough she will be interested.

Repeated use of innuendos. There's an art to fun and sexual flirtation and you can pick up cues from things the girl says to banter with her in a way she will like. But I think too often guys just try to be funny by dropping in constant innuendos and it becomes cringe very quickly.

Reply 5

emtheelf

Original post by Foo.mp3

I would say that the pestering/creepy part can be particularly off putting. Women do tend to understand that you're interested without becoming... Well... Slightly terrifying. Additionally, laddish behaviour, to me, only makes me think they want to have anything to do with me to build up points with their friends and I'm not one to go for that kind of thing.

Honestly... Treat women like a human being, not like someone you're just there to sleep with and it'll probably be the best thing you can do. Tell them they're pretty, sure, but don't just sit there making snide comments. I remember someone said 'if you'd be happy making the comment to your mother then it's fine, if you wouldn't, don't say it to any other girl' or something along those lines. That's a pretty good way to avoid some of the bolded points.

Reply 6

picklescamp

Starting a convo an then being taciturn

Reply 7

HucktheForde

Original post by Foo.mp3

The ones on the left, in bold, are those that spring to mind re: irritating girls you're into. The ones on the right are the danger in going too far in the other direction. It's all about finding balance between the two extremes :smile:

I dont think I found the balance at all.

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Reply 8

cole-slaw

Original post by Foo.mp3

Haha. Well, they do call it 'game' for a reason

By "they", you mean frustrated misogynistic losers, presumably.

Reply 9

toonervoustotalk

Original post by picklescamp

Starting a convo an then being taciturn

But but i am shy and overthink or my mind draws a blank so my script of questions in the convo i was going to say to you is not going according to plan :redface:

But ivam working on it DW

Reply 10

tealites

Why don't you try pasting basic conversation between you and a girl and we'll try to examine where you're going wrong.

Reply 11

Katie_p

There are basically only 3 things that annoy me, and they all amount to you being an overbearing *******.

Cheesy one-liners or any other display of arrogance. Confidence is fine, feel free to come and talk to me, but don't saunter over, tell me your name with a wink and expect me to fall for you!
Assuming control over me before (or when) we are in a relationship. Eg. touching me - whether it's always touching my arm, or full on groping me - telling me I "can't" do something or conversely telling me I "have" to do things, cock-blocking other guys.
Not accepting a "no". If I have said I'm not interested in you, that means I'm not interested. I don't need to have a boyfriend, be seeing another guy, be a lesbian, explain that I don't like your hairstyle or whatever excuse. That means don't touch me, don't flirt with me, don't "protect" me from other people or myself.

Check if you do any of these, and if you do, please stop. The last one is probably the main reason people get annoyed at you, OP, because a lot of guys either don't hear "no" unless they're slapped in the face and told "I would never sleep with you in a million years". Tbh many girls don't help themselves (by making it clear whether or not they're interested), so if you're not really getting anywhere with your "pursuit", ask a girl outright if she is interested in pursuing whatever kind of relationship you're after. If she says no, accept it and back off.

Reply 12

kjennifer123

Original post by MagicNMedicine

.

Trying to continue boring meaningless conversations by text when the girl isn't really engaging in the conversation - hoping that if you keep the convo going long enough she will be interested. .

Especially when they're like 'hey' 'wuu2'
Like who even says that anymore? Totally kills it for me after that

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Reply 13

Hevachan

Honestly, being pursued is annoying. If they get annoyed then they either aren't looking for someone or aren't attracted to you. If a man spoke to me at a bar I'd feel uncomfortable because I'd know that they just wanted to have sex with me. However if I met someone at a coffee shop I'd feel more like they wanted a relationship...

Reply 14

Katie_p

Original post by Foo.mp3

No offence, but the sense I’m getting from your mini-rant is that it’s taken you yourself a while to learn to ‘help yourself’ in this regard too. Your rhetoric makes you sound a tad bitter/mysandrist, but your advice/caution is of course, nevertheless, spot on

I don't get anywhere near enough to attention to have needed to help myself, it's just what I observe with friends!! They get really frustrated by "creepy stalkers" who they've never given any indication to that they're not interested. Guys who refuse to acknowledge your rejection are annoying, but too many girls never actually make the rejection clear and continue to complain about being pursued.
Everyone just needs to communicate better. Sadly most people either think honesty will make them look mean or weak, or they think the opposite and don't hesitate to be brutally honest with everyone. But I'm pretty sure if OP has been told he's annoying, he's either a total ******* and he's ignoring every sign that girls just don't want to be "pursued", or the girls in question are not making their intentions at all clear. There's not really another option.

Reply 15

toonervoustotalk

Original post by Foo.mp3

If you (feel the) need (for) a particular script/plan then you’re doing it wrong son. Girls tend to rather appreciate a healthy mix of inquisitiveness, ponderousness, and opine. If you make it all about them you make it 10 times harder to build attraction/rapport

I dont feel the need to plan anymore because i have developed a IDGAF attitude :smile:

Ok but they ask me questions about myself as well and at the mo i am not focusing on getting a girlfriend. I am focusing on becoming friends with girls first as all my mates are guys :lol:

Reply 16

emtheelf

Original post by Foo.mp3

Sure, when it comes to being bitchy/nasty, but otherwise, a little ‘artistic license’ is certainly to be encouraged. Stimulating a girl’s wit and erotic imagination is about as powerful as it gets (pre-jiggy) :sexface:

Problem then is to make sure it doesn't get into the 'Nice Guy' sphere of 'well, we chatted and I made you laugh and we had fun so you totally owe me sex' sort of thing. Should women make it clear that they're not interested? Obviously yes. But do they? Not always, especially if they've had bad experiences in the past when trying to tell people no. Though the sort of people who refuse to take no for an answer also seem to be the people who are terrible at conversing in the first place. I think the problems lie with both parties a lot of the time.

OP, just don't go straight for trying to impress her 'erotic imagination' or you'll just come across really badly. Then, if things don't go as well as you hoped, take no for an answer, you'll definitely be more respected that way and can always just move on to greener pastures and all that.

Reply 17

kjennifer123

Original post by Foo.mp3

Eww, I’m not surprised :s-smilie:

Teeny boppers

You'll be surprised how many of them are over the age of 20 :facepalm:

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Reply 18

Zechs

Original post by HucktheForde

What this tells me is maybe you do not learn from your mistakes. I also get this sometimes never every girl though and you need to learn to understand when it's happening and how to come back from it positively. To be honest though in my experience if a girl does like you littel things that may irritate her would not really put her off. They say be yourself , so why pretend to be what you are not? What you will have is just a temporary relationship which does nothing for you, I would rather a woman knows my negatives and positives and still likes me for it.

It could simply be the case that you are going for the wrong woman or maybe you really just are irritating and have to make slight changes. Do not let it put you down though everyone has to deal with similar things at some point, what's worse then have negative aspects of yourself is making yourself a miserable men no woman wants that so think positive.

Reply 19

Zechs

Original post by MagicNMedicine

I find that sad, sexual innuendo is nice and fun and may even escalate a potential date to want to get sexual with you but it's not needed. Best to engage with a lady , be yourself and make her smile and have a good time.