How long would you wait?
I'm 24 and I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years. He is everything I want in a man: he's funny, intelligent, kind, generous and caring. I admire the way he is so passionate about his career and his hobbies - I find that very few people genuinely feel this way about anything in their lives. He's sensitive and I love they way he's so non-judgemental about people and their lives. He's very compassionate and empathetic towards people no matter what they are going through, but at the same time he's very logical and rational at the same time.
Needless to say, he does have his flaws. For example he finds it difficult to show his own emotions, even though he has no problem understanding and dealing with other people's feelings. I know his flaws and I fully accept and love the person he is. Generally, we've had a good 4 years bar some arguments now and then.
The problem is, he doesn't know if he loves me. I first told him I loved in about one year into the relationship. He responded by saying that he was too young to know what love was and that as a student he had no real life experience to make such a big commitment. 3 years on, he has now graduated and is pursuing a career and thinking of buying a house. He has now got the life experience he previosuly said he needed. He says he cares about me a lot and sees me as a member of his family, but he still says he doesn't know what love is.
I just feel so sad that he still feels this way. I feel like I'm not good enough for him and maybe he hasn't realised that yet. It is seriously impacting my self-esteem and I'm beggining to feel that if my boyfriend of 4 years doesn't love me then nobody ever will. I feel humiliated.
I'm at such a loss over what to do. I am thinking of ending things with him because not being loved by him is making me miserable, but at the same time it seems silly to throw away a good relationship. I have been waiting 4 years thinking he will come around one day, but he hasn't. What if he never does? How much longer can I wait for him to make his mind up.
Any thoughts or insights from you guys will be much appreciated!
Needless to say, he does have his flaws. For example he finds it difficult to show his own emotions, even though he has no problem understanding and dealing with other people's feelings. I know his flaws and I fully accept and love the person he is. Generally, we've had a good 4 years bar some arguments now and then.
The problem is, he doesn't know if he loves me. I first told him I loved in about one year into the relationship. He responded by saying that he was too young to know what love was and that as a student he had no real life experience to make such a big commitment. 3 years on, he has now graduated and is pursuing a career and thinking of buying a house. He has now got the life experience he previosuly said he needed. He says he cares about me a lot and sees me as a member of his family, but he still says he doesn't know what love is.
I just feel so sad that he still feels this way. I feel like I'm not good enough for him and maybe he hasn't realised that yet. It is seriously impacting my self-esteem and I'm beggining to feel that if my boyfriend of 4 years doesn't love me then nobody ever will. I feel humiliated.
I'm at such a loss over what to do. I am thinking of ending things with him because not being loved by him is making me miserable, but at the same time it seems silly to throw away a good relationship. I have been waiting 4 years thinking he will come around one day, but he hasn't. What if he never does? How much longer can I wait for him to make his mind up.
Any thoughts or insights from you guys will be much appreciated!
Original post by Anonymous
I just feel so sad that he still feels this way. I feel like I'm not good enough for him and maybe he hasn't realised that yet. It is seriously impacting my self-esteem and I'm beggining to feel that if my boyfriend of 4 years doesn't love me then nobody ever will. I feel humiliated.
I'm at such a loss over what to do. I am thinking of ending things with him because not being loved by him is making me miserable, but at the same time it seems silly to throw away a good relationship. I have been waiting 4 years thinking he will come around one day, but he hasn't. What if he never does? How much longer can I wait for him to make his mind up.
I'm at such a loss over what to do. I am thinking of ending things with him because not being loved by him is making me miserable, but at the same time it seems silly to throw away a good relationship. I have been waiting 4 years thinking he will come around one day, but he hasn't. What if he never does? How much longer can I wait for him to make his mind up.
If it were me, I would talk to him about this and explain how you are feeling.
It could be that he really cares about you and is as serious as you are, but just isn't putting the same label on it. But understandably (imo) him acting like he's unsure about how he feels is something that you're not happy with, and I wouldn't tell someone to stay in a relationship where they were unhappy and felt like they weren't on the same page as their partner.
I would definitely talk to him about how it's making you feel. 4 years is a long time, so he clearly cares a lot about you.
Quick Reply
Related discussions
- Enhanced integrity checks, BORDER FORCE
- CTC vetting time frame
- Nursing interview at RGU Aberdeenn?
- Anyone having a longstanding problem of insomnia?
- Apllication for ba honours acting lipa
- Border Force Applications 2023
- EO in Sheffield
- Frasers Group Elevation Programme
- Frasers Group Elevation Programme 2024
- Kings College London Postgraduate offer holders 2023
- Rejection from Queen’s Univeristy Belfast
- University of Bristol CAS
- Government Statistical Service (GSS) Summer Placement 2021
- Dwp pre employment checks
- Essex University Oral Health Science
- Official University of the West of England, Bristol Applicant Thread for 2024
- UCL Computer Science Application
- Natwest 2024 Graduate Scheme
- CTC checks completed
- MOJ pre employment checks
Latest
Trending
Last reply 4 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 4 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 2 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset aboutTrending
Last reply 4 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 4 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 2 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset about
