Pre-emptive Homesickness
It's a month now until I return to university for my third year, and I'm dreading it. My first two years have been overwhelmingly miserable on the balance of things, and I have little reason I believe third year will be any better.
On the surface of things, I seem to be doing alright. I've gotten very good marks academically, have joined plenty of societies (some would say too many!) and have positions of responsibility in a few, and am actively involved in life at my college.
However, I spent most of my first year feeling isolated and lonely. I struggled to make friends within the university (though did find a group outside that I did get on well with), and this was coupled with me being seriously assaulted during my first few weeks, my partner being diagnosed with a serious illness and my developing anorexia. I held out hope that second year would be different, but my living situation served to just exacerbate many of the problems I had to deal with. My levels of depression and anxiety rose further, I became dangerously underweight and I'm still not sure, looking back on things, quite how I managed to go about my daily life at times. I had counselling during the second half of my second year, but never got round to actually resolving any of the issues in the number of sessions I had.
I've tried reading some articles about how to deal with it, but most seem aimed at Freshers and I've long since done all the advice they suggest to no avail. Even the very thought of going back is causing my mental health to suffer; I have no appetite, I cry frequently and I feel on the verge of panic. Everything in my head is screaming at me to not go back, but I know it's my final year, and I'm sure that I'm going to complete it unless things get so bad that I just fail to function. I've wanted to drop out so many times but lacked any better options, hence why I've stuck at it so far, and I'd be in a worse position were I to drop out now. I just need some advice as to how I can make it through.
Has anyone else been in a similar situation before? Or else, any advice as to what I can do to alleviate the worrying?
On the surface of things, I seem to be doing alright. I've gotten very good marks academically, have joined plenty of societies (some would say too many!) and have positions of responsibility in a few, and am actively involved in life at my college.
However, I spent most of my first year feeling isolated and lonely. I struggled to make friends within the university (though did find a group outside that I did get on well with), and this was coupled with me being seriously assaulted during my first few weeks, my partner being diagnosed with a serious illness and my developing anorexia. I held out hope that second year would be different, but my living situation served to just exacerbate many of the problems I had to deal with. My levels of depression and anxiety rose further, I became dangerously underweight and I'm still not sure, looking back on things, quite how I managed to go about my daily life at times. I had counselling during the second half of my second year, but never got round to actually resolving any of the issues in the number of sessions I had.
I've tried reading some articles about how to deal with it, but most seem aimed at Freshers and I've long since done all the advice they suggest to no avail. Even the very thought of going back is causing my mental health to suffer; I have no appetite, I cry frequently and I feel on the verge of panic. Everything in my head is screaming at me to not go back, but I know it's my final year, and I'm sure that I'm going to complete it unless things get so bad that I just fail to function. I've wanted to drop out so many times but lacked any better options, hence why I've stuck at it so far, and I'd be in a worse position were I to drop out now. I just need some advice as to how I can make it through.
Has anyone else been in a similar situation before? Or else, any advice as to what I can do to alleviate the worrying?
If you really can't face going back, there are alternatives. You could take a year off (good option actually - I did this myself after being somewhat disillusioned with first-year uni and returned refreshed). Alternatively you could look into transferring to a uni closer to home, or getting your final-year credits by correspondence (perhaps through open university?) and living at home.
I can't help much more, but BUMP and best of luck. Whatever you do, take care of yourself. You can get through it
I can't help much more, but BUMP and best of luck. Whatever you do, take care of yourself. You can get through it
Original post by Anonymous
It's a month now until I return to university for my third year, and I'm dreading it. My first two years have been overwhelmingly miserable on the balance of things, and I have little reason I believe third year will be any better.
On the surface of things, I seem to be doing alright. I've gotten very good marks academically, have joined plenty of societies (some would say too many!) and have positions of responsibility in a few, and am actively involved in life at my college.
However, I spent most of my first year feeling isolated and lonely. I struggled to make friends within the university (though did find a group outside that I did get on well with), and this was coupled with me being seriously assaulted during my first few weeks, my partner being diagnosed with a serious illness and my developing anorexia. I held out hope that second year would be different, but my living situation served to just exacerbate many of the problems I had to deal with. My levels of depression and anxiety rose further, I became dangerously underweight and I'm still not sure, looking back on things, quite how I managed to go about my daily life at times. I had counselling during the second half of my second year, but never got round to actually resolving any of the issues in the number of sessions I had.
I've tried reading some articles about how to deal with it, but most seem aimed at Freshers and I've long since done all the advice they suggest to no avail. Even the very thought of going back is causing my mental health to suffer; I have no appetite, I cry frequently and I feel on the verge of panic. Everything in my head is screaming at me to not go back, but I know it's my final year, and I'm sure that I'm going to complete it unless things get so bad that I just fail to function. I've wanted to drop out so many times but lacked any better options, hence why I've stuck at it so far, and I'd be in a worse position were I to drop out now. I just need some advice as to how I can make it through.
Has anyone else been in a similar situation before? Or else, any advice as to what I can do to alleviate the worrying?
On the surface of things, I seem to be doing alright. I've gotten very good marks academically, have joined plenty of societies (some would say too many!) and have positions of responsibility in a few, and am actively involved in life at my college.
However, I spent most of my first year feeling isolated and lonely. I struggled to make friends within the university (though did find a group outside that I did get on well with), and this was coupled with me being seriously assaulted during my first few weeks, my partner being diagnosed with a serious illness and my developing anorexia. I held out hope that second year would be different, but my living situation served to just exacerbate many of the problems I had to deal with. My levels of depression and anxiety rose further, I became dangerously underweight and I'm still not sure, looking back on things, quite how I managed to go about my daily life at times. I had counselling during the second half of my second year, but never got round to actually resolving any of the issues in the number of sessions I had.
I've tried reading some articles about how to deal with it, but most seem aimed at Freshers and I've long since done all the advice they suggest to no avail. Even the very thought of going back is causing my mental health to suffer; I have no appetite, I cry frequently and I feel on the verge of panic. Everything in my head is screaming at me to not go back, but I know it's my final year, and I'm sure that I'm going to complete it unless things get so bad that I just fail to function. I've wanted to drop out so many times but lacked any better options, hence why I've stuck at it so far, and I'd be in a worse position were I to drop out now. I just need some advice as to how I can make it through.
Has anyone else been in a similar situation before? Or else, any advice as to what I can do to alleviate the worrying?
Wow, OP. Our stories are so similar. PM me if you'd like.
I'm also pre-emptive of homesickness in my third year. I'm worried that it'll hit me (I'm certain it will).
What makes me feel better is having a calendar with when I am going home clearly marked, crossing off days as they pass helps too. I know it isn't good to count down the days until you go home, and that's not the point, crossing off days allows you to visually see what you've made it through. It makes life a lot easier.
Going home straight away after freshers week is a bad idea, if you're considering it. Wait a while, maybe three weeks. In first year I waited 3 weeks but in second year I went home after 2 days of being there. Honestly, the few days I spent at home during the first week of second year was awful. I cried every day knowing I'd be going back soon. Try to keep busy, go to the library, see people, subscribe to Netflix. Just keep busy.
I really wouldn't recommend dropping out or transferring. I cried to my tutor so much she started to look at other universities for me. But I'm proud to say I made it through a bad living situation in second year and I'm about to go into my third. Just remember how much progress you've made and how far you've come. Third year will be over soon!
