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I'm pregnant

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Reply 40
Avatar for xylas
xylas
21
Original post by spiritless98
If she trusted him enough to sleep with him, surely she should tell him about the pregnancy


You can trust someone without having to tell them everything can't you?
Original post by xylas
You can trust someone without having to tell them everything can't you?


But pregnancy isn't something small, that you can't just tell them
It's his child too so they should make the decision together


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Original post by Anonymous
Yeah they would because my parents are conservative, traditional Catholics! I don't know what to do about this arghh!

... But you have a step father?
Reply 43
Avatar for xylas
xylas
21
Original post by spiritless98
But pregnancy isn't something small, that you can't just tell them
It's his child too so they should make the decision together


But by that logic you could argue that he owns part of her body which is not possible in this society. Maybe she would want to tell him so that it's not only her burden to carry but I still don't see why she necessarily would have to.
Original post by xylas
But by that logic you could argue that he owns part of her body which is not possible in this society. Maybe she would want to tell him so that it's not only her burden to carry but I still don't see why she necessarily would have to.


Fair point, but in a trusting relationship one shouldn't hide things
And this isn't small it's big
But whatever op feels is right


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Reply 45
Avatar for xylas
xylas
21
Original post by spiritless98
Fair point, but in a trusting relationship one shouldn't hide things
And this isn't small it's big
But whatever op feels is right


Yeah that's the only way it can be: whatever she feels is right is right to her. When we try to advise based on concepts of what is fair and what is not it becomes very difficult to justify it.
Original post by Banana00
... But you have a step father?


Yes I do but I like to refer both of them as my parents though sometimes!
Original post by Anonymous
Yes I do but I like to refer both of them as my parents though sometimes!

Okay :smile:
Good luck with whatever you choose to do; I hope it all turns out okay for you :smile:

I would personally advise against an abortion as I feel it is a far bigger deal than people are making out - the feelings of loss, regret and guilt may be ones that you hold for the rest of your life.
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Original post by The Good Doctor
Why not have an abortion?


I am scared to terminate my pregnancy because I might feel guilty of aborting my own child later on in my life.
Original post by SebUK
Do not abort the baby, killing another member of Homo sapiens is unacceptable. In the end it's only 9 months, you can give the baby up for adoption.


And yet keeping it and either risking your own mental stability when you have to give it up after carrying it for 9 months, or raising it yourself when you probably can't support a baby efficiently is definitely the most desirable option...

It's not even a 'Homo sapiens' until it's born, so stfu.

Go to your GP, they will be able to give you some advice and support you through whatever decision you choose to make.
Original post by Claire062
And yet keeping it and either risking your own mental stability when you have to give it up after carrying it for 9 months, or raising it yourself when you probably can't support a baby efficiently is definitely the most desirable option...

It's not even a 'Homo sapiens' until it's born, so stfu.

Go to your GP, they will be able to give you some advice and support you through whatever decision you choose to make.


lol you can become equally depressed from killing it. theres no easy option.
Original post by Anonymous
I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time like few weeks ago and he was wearing a condom but I found out that I'm 4 weeks pregnant yesterday. How on earth is that possible? I'm only 18 years old and I don't want to have a baby now. I'm going to Uni soon and I don't know what to do. I haven't told anyone yet about this. If my mom and my step dad came to know about this, I'll get kicked out! :frown:


If i were you i'd abort. You don't need the stress. And the likeliness is you and your bf may break up as you are still very young.

Wait till you are older to have kids unless you really really want it- which I doubt.
Original post by Anonymous
I am scared to terminate my pregnancy because I might feel guilty of aborting my own child later on in my life.


In Islam they say that the fetus is just a pile of cells until 120 days. Before that you can abort as it hasn't been given a soul until then.
I hope that helps?
Original post by The Good Doctor
People have sex for other reasons than to get pregnant, you complete oaf.


But regardless they must be quite silly if they don't consider the risk of pregnancy.
Original post by Anonymous
I am scared to terminate my pregnancy because I might feel guilty of aborting my own child later on in my life.


I wouldn't call it a "child" yet. At 1 month now it is perhaps just beginning to resemble one. I cannot appreciate the bond you may feel to it but it isn't even conscious or thinking and won't be for a long time. From what you've said, the benefits of removing, what can only be described as a bundle of cells, from your body far outweigh the negatives. Especially considering the predicament you believe your parents will put you in once they find out.
Original post by Doctor_Einstein
But regardless they must be quite silly if they don't consider the risk of pregnancy.


99% of the time something called contraception is used, so the risk of pregnancy is almost always considered. In the OP's case they used condoms.
Original post by The Good Doctor
99% of the time something called contraception is used, so the risk of pregnancy is almost always considered. In the OP's case they used condoms.


Understanding risk usually involves an attempt to mitigate the risk, and also an understanding that the risk is never really abolished.

It seems the OP failed to understand that even when contraception is used, the risk still exists and must be accepted.
Original post by Anonymous
I am scared to terminate my pregnancy because I might feel guilty of aborting my own child later on in my life.


Yes, and you might feel even guiltier when you can't take care of it and blame it for ruining your education and your life. I understand you've got some emotional attachment to it but the choice here is clear-cut: keep it or abort it.

Your original dilemma was that your parents would kick you out of the house if they knew you had sex, hence people are telling you to abort it to prevent that from happening. If you can't do that, well, then there's not many other ways you can prevent your parents from finding out unless you make an excuse that allows them to not see you for nine months. Then you might be able to give birth to the baby, give it away and have nobody find out.
It won't be an easy decision but remember it's your decision.

It's normal to worry about regretsdown the line, but large studies published this year shows that very few women regeret having abortions.

http://www.reuters.com/article/2015/07/17/us-usa-women-abortion-idUSKCN0PR1KP20150717

You are only 18 and have your whole life ahead of you. You can always have a family later on if that's what you decide you want. But you will never get another chance to be 18 and starting your life as an independent adult on your own terms.

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