The Student Room Group

I have a crush on someone I hate

So there's this girl at work that I really don't like and I'm pretty sure she hates me too. She's just really bossy and she always tries to tell me what to do, even though she's not my manager or even a supervisor. Recently we got into a little argument about something stupid so I decided not to waste my time trying to talk to her anymore. I think she got the message because now she does little petty and patronizing things to annoy me e.g. when I'm arranging something on the shop floor she'll give me really sarcastic and obvious advice like I'm an idiot or whenever I do something good she'll be like "well done" (in a child-like way). But despite all of this, I find myself extremely attracted to this girl. It's weird because she's not my usual type, I wouldn't even look back if I saw her walking on the street. How can I dislike someone so much yet still want them?

Scroll to see replies

Probably just the close proximity and no other action going on so she's the focus of your attentions
To answer your question, even I don't know. Sounds interesting though. :biggrin:
I can't say for sure because I haven't actually seen you two interacting but it's not that uncommon to hate (or strongly dislike) someone and at the same time like them. Two people I've had crushes on in the past were both horrid people in some ways (arrogant, condescending, patronising etc.) and yet undeniably attractive in others (physically, funny, intelligent), it just depends on if you feel their good qualities (the attraction, conversation etc.) are worth your distaste for them. Nobody is perfect after all, maybe you're always catching her at her moodiest? Have you seen her interacting with other people, or outside work?

Maybe you should spend some time apart from her to have a break and re-evaluate your relationship with her. Perhaps you're attracted to the challenge? Or the way she's willing to argue with you, stand up for herself (even if she's wrong). Remember, some qualities can easily be seen as unattractive to one person and attractive to another so just give it time.
(edited 8 years ago)
Not gonna lie but this is like Bollywood.

Hate and then OMG all of a sudden LOVE


:facepalm:
How is your relationship with your mother? :beard:
Original post by tootles44
How is your relationship with your mother? :beard:

Good point!
Reply 7
Original post by Little Popcorns
Probably just the close proximity and no other action going on so she's the focus of your attentions


I didn't think of this actually, it could just be that I'm bored and that nothing else at work is remotely interesting.
I'm in the same boat as you OP

Worst girl I ever met was on my course last year, she was from the same estate as me when we were much younger. I messed up introducing myself to her and she mocked me relentlessly until the end of the year last year in July.

I'm still attracted to her still even though she drove me over the edge. I see her rarely. If there was a chance to wipe her from my mind/ memory completely I would do it.

I dunno what to do, asked people on her and they said I had "stockholm syndrome".

I'll probably be reading these replies on here like you.

I'm afraid I'll never get her out of my head. Seriously worried.

Major Edit: Oh crap, this thread got bumped, I managed to beat this, I have a big crush on either an actress called Aiysha Hart or a wrestler called Sasha Banks now. Can't make up my mind.
(edited 8 years ago)
I know how this feels...except it was a guy xD
Reply 10
Original post by EllainKahlo
I can't say for sure because I haven't actually seen you two interacting but it's not that uncommon to hate (or strongly dislike) someone and at the same time like them. Two people I've had crushes on in the past were both horrid people in some ways (arrogant, condescending, patronising etc.) and yet undeniably attractive in others (physically, funny, intelligent), it just depends on if you feel their good qualities (the attraction, conversation etc.) are worth your distaste for them. Nobody is perfect after all, maybe you're always catching her at her moodiest? Have you seen her interacting with other people, or outside work?

Maybe you should spend some time apart from her to have a break and re-evaluate your relationship with her. Perhaps you're attracted to the challenge? Or the way she's willing to argue with you, stand up for herself (even if she's wrong). Remember, some qualities can easily be seen as unattractive to one person and attractive to another so just give it time.


She is quite a moody person but she's definitely more friendly to other people than she is to me.
It's also weird because I genuinely can't list any of her good qualities.
It's a bit hard to stay away from each other considering we work on the same floor and our work often requires help from one another.
Hmm, maybe it could be the challenge, I think I almost enjoy arguing with her??? It's weird, I don't know.
(edited 8 years ago)
Reply 11
Original post by tootles44
How is your relationship with your mother? :beard:


A little dysfunctional at times but not terrible.
Wow, this is basically the plot of most poorly written fanfiction!
Reply 13
Original post by Longshot700
I'm in the same boat as you OP

Worst girl I ever met was on my course last year, she was from the same estate as me when we were much younger. I messed up introducing myself to her and she mocked me relentlessly until the end of the year last year in July.

I'm still attracted to her still even though she drove me over the edge. I see her rarely. If there was a chance to wipe her from my mind/ memory completely I would do it.

I dunno what to do, asked people on her and they said I had "stockholm syndrome".

I'll probably be reading these replies on here like you.

I'm afraid I'll never get her out of my head. Seriously worried.


Yeah, this is the exact feeling. I wish I had never met her but at the same time I don't want her to go anywhere.
Reply 14
Original post by Sicaspeak
Wow, this is basically the plot of most poorly written fanfiction!


Sadly, this is my life :frown:
Original post by Bbrrian
Yeah, this is the exact feeling. I wish I had never met her but at the same time I don't want her to go anywhere.


Sh*t, this is gonna sound kinda sad, but you wanna be internet buds?
Original post by Bbrrian
She is quite a moody person but she's definitely more friendly to other people than she is to me.
It's a bit hard to stay away from each other considering we work on the same floor and our work often requires help from one another.
Hmm, maybe it could be the challenge, I think I almost enjoy arguing with her??? It's weird, I don't know.


It's not really unusual at all, it just feels that way, but I can sympathise. I can't say for certain, but sometimes when a person likes you they will be horrible to you or cold to you unconsciously to stop you from knowing that they do. And perhaps your arguing with her comes from that too since you like her in some way.

When I liked a guy and hated him too, the only times we really spoke was to argue about something or just be childish and I allowed it simply because it meant I got to hang out with him, I didn't realise that at the time but reflecting on the situation years after, that definitely was it. I mean, you wouldn't really waste your time arguing with her if she was someone you truly despised and there was no attraction factor, right?
I hear hate sex is amazing :sexface:
This would be such a good Wattpad story :moon:

Try to talk to her nicely and see where it goes.

Spoiler

Original post by RainbowKiwi
I hear hate sex is amazing :sexface:


Got there 2 seconds before me :sexface:

Quick Reply

Latest