Should I join the LGBT society at my uni?
So I identify as panro ace, and I sort of want to join the LGBT society at my uni when I go next week. I'm not currently out to anyone but I want to change that this year and I think that joining the lgbt society might help.
I know that asexuality isn't as widely known or accepted as being a 'real' sexual orientation, but is this likely to matter? I would hope that those in an lgbt society would be super accepting but you do hear stories of even lgbt+ people rejecting asexiality as valid and I'm kinda scared that that will happen.
So yeah should I go? Also just in general what do lgbt societies do?
please help me
I know that asexuality isn't as widely known or accepted as being a 'real' sexual orientation, but is this likely to matter? I would hope that those in an lgbt society would be super accepting but you do hear stories of even lgbt+ people rejecting asexiality as valid and I'm kinda scared that that will happen.
So yeah should I go? Also just in general what do lgbt societies do?
please help me
I'm not particularly involved with the LGBT society at my uni as it's geared more towards supporting people who are still coming to terms with their sexuality etc., but I remember in the first meeting they said that the meetings were a "safe area" and they wouldn't make it public that you'd attended the meeting - so that if you weren't out no one would know you'd gone. So you could go to the society without "outing" yourself to everyone.
One thing I don't like is that the societies are generally called LGBT, whereas a lot of people are identifying as something outside of this - such as yourself. I'm also asexual, so I know what you mean about people not believing asexuality is real. People in LGBT societies are generally very accepting of sexualities other than gay / lesbian / bisexual - I really don't think it's something you need to worry about. If you do feel uncomfortable, you can talk to the committee members about this.
I think it would be a good idea to at least go to the initial LGBT meeting. As you're not out I think they could give you some advice / support, and you might meet other people like you.
LGBT societies have socials like other societies - pubs, scene crawls, that sort of thing. Mine also has talks and a "queer cafe" where you can drop in to get advice or just to chat.
One thing I don't like is that the societies are generally called LGBT, whereas a lot of people are identifying as something outside of this - such as yourself. I'm also asexual, so I know what you mean about people not believing asexuality is real. People in LGBT societies are generally very accepting of sexualities other than gay / lesbian / bisexual - I really don't think it's something you need to worry about. If you do feel uncomfortable, you can talk to the committee members about this.
I think it would be a good idea to at least go to the initial LGBT meeting. As you're not out I think they could give you some advice / support, and you might meet other people like you.
LGBT societies have socials like other societies - pubs, scene crawls, that sort of thing. Mine also has talks and a "queer cafe" where you can drop in to get advice or just to chat.
Each LGBT society will be different. The only way to find out whether they're what you're looking for, is to give them the benefit of the doubt and go along to a meeting. As with any other environment, you don't have to make your orientation public until or unless you're comfortable to do so. If they don't seem receptive, you don't have discuss anything with them or go back.
I think going to a meeting will be the only way to find out. If that doesn't feel right, then maybe it just wouldn't be the right time for you. You're dealing with the first term at uni, so allow for the possibility that's enough to be coping with at the moment. Go with your gut feel.
I think going to a meeting will be the only way to find out. If that doesn't feel right, then maybe it just wouldn't be the right time for you. You're dealing with the first term at uni, so allow for the possibility that's enough to be coping with at the moment. Go with your gut feel.
Sorry, I think I've been in a cave for a few years - what's a panro ace?
Original post by magnitudezero
Sorry, I think I've been in a cave for a few years - what's a panro ace?
I believe it's panromantic asexuality, i.e someone who seeks romantic relationships with someone regardless of gender or sexual identity, but isn't interested in the sexual aspect of a relationship.
Original post by GoingToBurst
I believe it's panromantic asexuality, i.e someone who seeks romantic relationships with someone regardless of gender or sexual identity, but isn't interested in the sexual aspect of a relationship.
Cool.
Original post by GoingToBurst
I believe it's panromantic asexuality, i.e someone who seeks romantic relationships with someone regardless of gender or sexual identity, but isn't interested in the sexual aspect of a relationship.
Yeah this is a pretty much spot on description tbh, so pretty much a normal relationship but the most intimate I want to get is cuddling and kissing and stuff.
Original post by emilysmith268
So I identify as panro ace, and I sort of want to join the LGBT society at my uni when I go next week. I'm not currently out to anyone but I want to change that this year and I think that joining the lgbt society might help.
I know that asexuality isn't as widely known or accepted as being a 'real' sexual orientation, but is this likely to matter? I would hope that those in an lgbt society would be super accepting but you do hear stories of even lgbt+ people rejecting asexiality as valid and I'm kinda scared that that will happen.
So yeah should I go? Also just in general what do lgbt societies do?
please help me
I know that asexuality isn't as widely known or accepted as being a 'real' sexual orientation, but is this likely to matter? I would hope that those in an lgbt society would be super accepting but you do hear stories of even lgbt+ people rejecting asexiality as valid and I'm kinda scared that that will happen.
So yeah should I go? Also just in general what do lgbt societies do?
please help me
What do you hope to gain by going? Do you think that it's something that you need to 'come out' for? Not being snarky, these questions ought to answer yours! Personally I've never been bothered with relationships and the like, so I just don't and carry on with what I was doing. Personally I'm quite happy being like this, but even if I wasn't or felt unsure, I'm not sure what being around other vaguely similar sexual minorities would really achieve. Myself, I wouldn't be bothered, but you might depending on what you're hoping to get from it all.
Original post by emilysmith268
Yeah this is a pretty much spot on description tbh, so pretty much a normal relationship but the most intimate I want to get is cuddling and kissing and stuff.
Why?
Original post by cherryred90s
Why?
BECAUSE SHE IS ASEXUAL.
Joining the LGBT soc is a good idea OP, go for it
Original post by driftawaay
BECAUSE SHE IS ASEXUAL.
Joining the LGBT soc is a good idea OP, go for it
Joining the LGBT soc is a good idea OP, go for it
Why are you typing in capitals? I'm just curious as to why she's asexual and why she doesn't want to be intimate. She can answer herself
Original post by cherryred90s
Why are you typing in capitals? I'm just curious as to why she's asexual and why she doesn't want to be intimate. She can answer herself
For the same reason you are sexual and want to be intimate. It is just the way you are.
Original post by driftawaay
For the same reason you are sexual and want to be intimate. It is just the way you are.
I don't agree. I don't think she was born or destined to be asexual. There must be a reason behind it. It's not the same as just being gay
Original post by emilysmith268
So I identify as panro ace, and I sort of want to join the LGBT society at my uni when I go next week. I'm not currently out to anyone but I want to change that this year and I think that joining the lgbt society might help.
I know that asexuality isn't as widely known or accepted as being a 'real' sexual orientation, but is this likely to matter? I would hope that those in an lgbt society would be super accepting but you do hear stories of even lgbt+ people rejecting asexiality as valid and I'm kinda scared that that will happen.
So yeah should I go? Also just in general what do lgbt societies do?
please help me
I know that asexuality isn't as widely known or accepted as being a 'real' sexual orientation, but is this likely to matter? I would hope that those in an lgbt society would be super accepting but you do hear stories of even lgbt+ people rejecting asexiality as valid and I'm kinda scared that that will happen.
So yeah should I go? Also just in general what do lgbt societies do?
please help me
(high fives because yay, more ace people!)
I mean, do you want to go to the LGBT society? If you want to, then you should definitely go along to the first meeting and figure out whether you like the atmosphere, because going to the first meeting does not equal joining (worst comes to worst and you find yourself being pressured to join when you don't want to, drop out due to "work commitments"). Like it's been said above, you don't have to say what you identify as!
Personally, I've never met another LGBT person who has said asexuality doesn't exist if I tell them I'm ace (though I've had plenty ask me what exactly that means), so maybe it's one of those things exaggerated by people?
Whatever you decide to do, I hope you enjoy university! May I ask what you're studying?
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