Social life as a young professional...help?
I'm 21 and just started my professional job in finance.
It's in the home counties, just outside London.
I'm living at home. Tbh, I've always been slightly more introvert than extrovert, although I have no problems socialising, I always go for a few solid pals than dozens of friends and several social circles.
My problem is that I've left quite a few at my uni town and at home I've lost touch with many from college as they've moved away/gone on to stay in their uni towns.
I need to do something about it because I can't see how this situation will change unless I do something about it. At school/college/uni there were natural ways to interact and make friends but it seems now, opportunities don't present themselves as frequently. At work, there are many middle aged people with families, many in their mid twenties are in long term relationships and don't socialise too much.
I'm trying to find young-20 somethings but I'm not sure how...?
I'm thinking of taking up a sport like Badminton but obviously it isn't very 'groupy'. I'm not sure what else to do? I like drinking but long term, it's not particularly healthy/sustainable to binge drink every week so I'd like to move away from that.
Any ideas?
It's in the home counties, just outside London.
I'm living at home. Tbh, I've always been slightly more introvert than extrovert, although I have no problems socialising, I always go for a few solid pals than dozens of friends and several social circles.
My problem is that I've left quite a few at my uni town and at home I've lost touch with many from college as they've moved away/gone on to stay in their uni towns.
I need to do something about it because I can't see how this situation will change unless I do something about it. At school/college/uni there were natural ways to interact and make friends but it seems now, opportunities don't present themselves as frequently. At work, there are many middle aged people with families, many in their mid twenties are in long term relationships and don't socialise too much.
I'm trying to find young-20 somethings but I'm not sure how...?
I'm thinking of taking up a sport like Badminton but obviously it isn't very 'groupy'. I'm not sure what else to do? I like drinking but long term, it's not particularly healthy/sustainable to binge drink every week so I'd like to move away from that.
Any ideas?
Pretty much just suck it up and stay in touch with your uni friends.
Original post by SmashConcept
Pretty much just suck it up and stay in touch with your uni friends.
Err no..
Stay in touch with uni friends and meet where possible, yes.
Rely on them for digital friendship...no.
I'm not a slave to my phone and social media and I don't plan on being one.
Find the nearest Masjid
Original post by Jawline?
I'm 21 and just started my professional job in finance.
It's in the home counties, just outside London.
I'm living at home. Tbh, I've always been slightly more introvert than extrovert, although I have no problems socialising, I always go for a few solid pals than dozens of friends and several social circles.
My problem is that I've left quite a few at my uni town and at home I've lost touch with many from college as they've moved away/gone on to stay in their uni towns.
I need to do something about it because I can't see how this situation will change unless I do something about it. At school/college/uni there were natural ways to interact and make friends but it seems now, opportunities don't present themselves as frequently. At work, there are many middle aged people with families, many in their mid twenties are in long term relationships and don't socialise too much.
I'm trying to find young-20 somethings but I'm not sure how...?
I'm thinking of taking up a sport like Badminton but obviously it isn't very 'groupy'. I'm not sure what else to do? I like drinking but long term, it's not particularly healthy/sustainable to binge drink every week so I'd like to move away from that.
Any ideas?
It's in the home counties, just outside London.
I'm living at home. Tbh, I've always been slightly more introvert than extrovert, although I have no problems socialising, I always go for a few solid pals than dozens of friends and several social circles.
My problem is that I've left quite a few at my uni town and at home I've lost touch with many from college as they've moved away/gone on to stay in their uni towns.
I need to do something about it because I can't see how this situation will change unless I do something about it. At school/college/uni there were natural ways to interact and make friends but it seems now, opportunities don't present themselves as frequently. At work, there are many middle aged people with families, many in their mid twenties are in long term relationships and don't socialise too much.
I'm trying to find young-20 somethings but I'm not sure how...?
I'm thinking of taking up a sport like Badminton but obviously it isn't very 'groupy'. I'm not sure what else to do? I like drinking but long term, it's not particularly healthy/sustainable to binge drink every week so I'd like to move away from that.
Any ideas?
Why dont you socialise with work collegues? Surely if you work in finance they all go boozing, drug taking and going to brothels?
Original post by GodAtum
Why dont you socialise with work collegues? Surely if you work in finance they all go boozing, drug taking and going to brothels?
It's not IB and it's not in London.
Lots are quite middle aged and the few who aren't are in long term relationships and mid 20s. We have socials quarterly lol
I am in a similar situation. I'm 21 and I have just started work. Most of my colleagues are middle aged or in their mid 30s. I want to find some common ground with them (eg hobbies and interests) but we are at different stages of our lives so it is hard to relate at all. I am currently living with a nice land lady but I can't just sit at home all day watching TV on my own.
Original post by melondew26
I am in a similar situation. I'm 21 and I have just started work. Most of my colleagues are middle aged or in their mid 30s. I want to find some common ground with them (eg hobbies and interests) but we are at different stages of our lives so it is hard to relate at all. I am currently living with a nice land lady but I can't just sit at home all day watching TV on my own.
I think hobbies and interests really do become more important for the recent grad who's taken off and moved area for the world of work.
Every other time in our lives, people of a similar age have been thrown together and it's up to you to work out how you wish to go about doing something to sort this situation out. I think you'll find the saying 'you only get out what you put in' will come true in terms of friendships.
People are working and are busy. Those who are loved up won't generally be devoting too much time for you. Those in settled friendships won't break their back. It's about trying things and accepting that maybe your social network won't fall together for a short period.
Original post by Jawline?
I think hobbies and interests really do become more important for the recent grad who's taken off and moved area for the world of work.
Every other time in our lives, people of a similar age have been thrown together and it's up to you to work out how you wish to go about doing something to sort this situation out. I think you'll find the saying 'you only get out what you put in' will come true in terms of friendships.
People are working and are busy. Those who are loved up won't generally be devoting too much time for you. Those in settled friendships won't break their back. It's about trying things and accepting that maybe your social network won't fall together for a short period.
Every other time in our lives, people of a similar age have been thrown together and it's up to you to work out how you wish to go about doing something to sort this situation out. I think you'll find the saying 'you only get out what you put in' will come true in terms of friendships.
People are working and are busy. Those who are loved up won't generally be devoting too much time for you. Those in settled friendships won't break their back. It's about trying things and accepting that maybe your social network won't fall together for a short period.
meetup.com is great
I stayed in my uni city and besides going for the occasional pint with people after work, my social life is dead. In much the same boat where even though there's a lot of people my age, the majority of them are married/settled down and they don't really have a need to make new friends.
Everyone who I was close to moved away, asides from one friend who I rarely get to see because she's always working or with her boyfriend. I see her once a month if i'm lucky. Everyone else has either gone travelling or lives hundreds of miles away, and the people in my friendship group who did stay here were the ones who I didn't really know.
It's been years since I had to make friends and to be honest I don't remember how to do it. At uni I just met people through people I was already friends with, now all that support and safety has been taken away I just feel completely lost.
I work in that sector too and I can assure you it's not all like the Wolf of Wall Street.
Aside from the Christmas party
Everyone who I was close to moved away, asides from one friend who I rarely get to see because she's always working or with her boyfriend. I see her once a month if i'm lucky. Everyone else has either gone travelling or lives hundreds of miles away, and the people in my friendship group who did stay here were the ones who I didn't really know.
It's been years since I had to make friends and to be honest I don't remember how to do it. At uni I just met people through people I was already friends with, now all that support and safety has been taken away I just feel completely lost.
Original post by GodAtum
Why dont you socialise with work collegues? Surely if you work in finance they all go boozing, drug taking and going to brothels?
I work in that sector too and I can assure you it's not all like the Wolf of Wall Street.
Aside from the Christmas party
Identify what interests you - something random that you may have not had a chance to properly pursue yet (maybe a humanities subject, or a artistic area). Then, go to industry related talks and events regarding those topics, found on Eventbrite. It is so easy to just attend, listen to great speakers, and meet people with a similar interest to you!
And being in your early 20's, it is a great oportunity to network in a no pressure environment.
Sign up to Career Contessa - this site has advice on how to navigate situations like yours and inspiration on how to approach these things well and confidently! It would definitly help.
And being in your early 20's, it is a great oportunity to network in a no pressure environment.
Sign up to Career Contessa - this site has advice on how to navigate situations like yours and inspiration on how to approach these things well and confidently! It would definitly help.
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