The Student Room Group
Voting for TSRs Ultimate Study Playlist is NOW OPEN >>
Uni students - Complete our survey >>
Voting for TSRs Ultimate Study Playlist is NOW OPEN >>
Uni students - Complete our survey >>

Lonely at Uni

So, I'm in second year (Leeds) and last year, i just really did not get on with my flatmates. They were loud, clicky and just weren't interested. I tried, went into the kitchen, ate in the kitchen etc.

I made a friend on my course, who I am still friends with, but she's no longer on my course, i always have to make the effort and she is starting to just ignore me now unless i'm wanting to go out or i'll pay for something.

This year i'm in private accommodation. I thought it was going really well, until friends made stopped knocking on my door, it would go silent in the kitchen or on nights out they'd ditch me.

I do try, i don't pester people nor do i completely shut myself out. But, i'm not a huge fan of nights out and more of just a pub or bar person, but no one here seems to be the same. They're either at one end of the scale, or the other.

I text people on other floors a lot and occasionally arrange things, but never really get round to doing stuff.

Lectures and societies are starting this week, so that will keep me busy, but I honestly can't say I've met a BFFL (whereas my boyfriend met his really easily, other friends are having a blast etc).

I just don't know what it is, i'd love to make friends and i'm usually very good at it, i had a lot of friends at school, i'm up for anything, love having fun and a good laugh and i'm not nasty or boring or anything.

I'm just not clicking with people. And i know there are others in my situation, but it's hard to get the confidence to message them to say "do you want to meet up2 or similar.

Any advice?
Anyone else in a similar situation?

Thanks :smile:
Reply 1
Avatar for addyaxis
addyaxis
5
I've had the same.

I had a large friendship circle in college and school. I've kept friends with people since primary school even. We all clicked really well.

I come to uni, and just not matter how hard i try to meet up and go out and do stuff, even that isn't enough.


Sometimes you just really don't click with people properly. And the fact you don't get invited out is not because they don't like you, it's just that they can't be bothered with you and only bother with the friends they have made.

I'm a really confident and loud person, i make people laugh, I'm even a class representative. But i just haven't clicked with anyone.


And sometimes that happens. In a lot of cases, people just make fast friends and even if it looks like they have a big group of friends now, come graduation, they would have barely talked to eachother.
Im the same, i have never had a lot of friends but i am on my own all the time at uni and even get slightly bullied. I have moved into a house in 2nd year with people i didn't know and they just laugh at me and insult me.
There are many people like you, maybe even a few on TSR that go to Leeds, maybe give a shout out on the Leeds forum. If you dont like going out much maybe organise a movie night in. Sorry if my suggestion is a little poor, I do not make friends very easil but it no longer bothers me and I am more than happy to be by myself.
It's a shame you do not go to my uni, I would be your friend :smile:
good luck
Reply 4
Avatar for Ghotay
Ghotay
13
Just gonna chime in with everyone else to reassure you that you're not alone. I had a big group of good friends at school, but apart from my boyfriend I haven't made any close friends at uni. I don't have any advice, but just wanted to remind you that it's totally normal.

notsogeordie
I made a friend on my course, who I am still friends with, but she's no longer on my course, i always have to make the effort and she is starting to just ignore me now unless i'm wanting to go out or i'll pay for something.

This bit stuck out to me though. I just want to say, DON'T pay for things to hang out with this girl! Someone who will only hang out with you if you pay is NOT your friend, don't waste your time with her.
Thank you all, it's a comfort to know i'm not alone!

And Ghotay (sorry I have no idea how TSR works!) thank you, I have cut down hanging out with her! She hasn't really been there for me recently so i'm not too bothered about losing her!
Original post by notsogeordie
So, I'm in second year (Leeds) and last year, i just really did not get on with my flatmates. They were loud, clicky and just weren't interested. I tried, went into the kitchen, ate in the kitchen etc.

I made a friend on my course, who I am still friends with, but she's no longer on my course, i always have to make the effort and she is starting to just ignore me now unless i'm wanting to go out or i'll pay for something.

This year i'm in private accommodation. I thought it was going really well, until friends made stopped knocking on my door, it would go silent in the kitchen or on nights out they'd ditch me.

I do try, i don't pester people nor do i completely shut myself out. But, i'm not a huge fan of nights out and more of just a pub or bar person, but no one here seems to be the same. They're either at one end of the scale, or the other.

I text people on other floors a lot and occasionally arrange things, but never really get round to doing stuff.

Lectures and societies are starting this week, so that will keep me busy, but I honestly can't say I've met a BFFL (whereas my boyfriend met his really easily, other friends are having a blast etc).

I just don't know what it is, i'd love to make friends and i'm usually very good at it, i had a lot of friends at school, i'm up for anything, love having fun and a good laugh and i'm not nasty or boring or anything.

I'm just not clicking with people. And i know there are others in my situation, but it's hard to get the confidence to message them to say "do you want to meet up2 or similar.

Any advice?
Anyone else in a similar situation?

Thanks :smile:


can you find a society that does activities that interest you? that might be your best bet

Quick Reply

Related discussions

Latest

Trending

Trending

Articles for you