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Confused and guilty feelings for another man

Ive been with my partner for almost 6 years we live together and while we love eachother so much our relationship does have its problems like all relationships but i couldnt live without him or imagine my life without him.

A few months ago when i started my new job i met a man who for some reason i have feelings for.... i dont know why or what has made me feel this way. I dont particularly want to feel this way as although i think he likes me too on some level we get along amazingly and flirt alot he is married and i feel incrediblely guilty.

Im trying to fight these feelings because they are ridiculous and no good can come of them. Why cant i stop them? Is it because i spend 40 hours a week in his company? Whats wrong with me... ive always thought my partner was the one even though i have found other guys attractive or got on well with other guys and enjoyed attention from them i have never cheated and my partner has always been my priority.

But now this guy is in my life and i dont know what to do i feel like my feelings for him are out of my control and i find myself thinking about him even dreaming about him. I think he feels the connection and chemistry between us but he seems more in control of it most of the time than i do. He introduced me to a place he likes to go out drinkin in i have been before a few times but recently he asked me if i had been and then told me an exact day/night he will be going with his friends. He didnt directly ask me to go so im not sure if he was hinting for me to go that night too but i couldnt do it anyway as its not right.

Im so confused. I keep wondering if he likes me too and when he does things or says things i wonder what they mean more than i should. Even though his feelings towards me and mine to him are completely irrelevant as nothing would ever ever happen. Im trying to enjoy work and be good at my new job... i wasnt looking for this and now my feelings are scaring me.

I cant leave this job because it has taken me a long time to get a job that pays this well and has the opportunities i have here for a future to continue to support myself my partner and our home.

Any advice please? I also cant avoid him either i have tried that as best i can but we work on the same projects together.
Don't worry about it or feel guilty.. this can happen to anyone at anytime. You can still be in love with your partner and fancy other guys, I have before. I'd say just tone down the flirting and just imagine if it was your partner and a girl, how you'd feel.
Ultimately, if you love your boyfriend and you know you have a good thing with him, just focus on working on your relationship with him. Put all you can into it.
Fancying this other guy doesn't make you a bad person, it's just what you do about it. Just make sure he knows about your partner and knows that you are happy with him, and if he does make a move on you knowing that you are not single, or try anything like that, then you'll know he's not a good guy, especially as he's married.
Maybe he's bored in his marriage and is excited by you and sees that you like him.
I'd say just keep a certain distance and just really think about your relationship with your partner, but don't feel guilty, honestly, you can't help how you feel. Good luck :smile:
(edited 8 years ago)
and I haven't had a relationship that's lasted 6 years, but I guess that that initial spark and excitement is long gone, and you're rediscovering it with this guy.. it happens. Just try to put it back into your relationship, go out to new places, go for a weekend away etc. it sounds cliche but it works
As the above person says, put your efforts into rekindling the spark in your relationship, by all means talk to the guy at work as well but don't act on any feelings, plus he is married as well.

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