Unhappy & Homesick

Hi, started at uni just over 3 weeks ago. Am finding it really hard to settle and feel constantly upset and homesick. I had feelings of regret when I started my course and am already finding it difficult to keep up with the work. I don't know what to do!!!

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 1

a-98

Is there an advisor you could go and talk to?

Reply 2

elizajames

Original post by a-98

Is there an advisor you could go and talk to?

I do have a personal tutor but she is extremely unapproachable and made it quite clear that she is only really there for academic help.

Reply 3

Jasminem97

Original post by elizajames

Is there a uni counselor or student support centre at your uni? :frown:

Reply 4

elizajames

Original post by Jasminem97

Is there a uni counselor or student support centre at your uni? :frown:

I have booked an appointment with the health and wellbeing people, but the earliest I can see them is 2 weeks time!

Reply 5

Jasminem97

Original post by elizajames

I have booked an appointment with the health and wellbeing people, but the earliest I can see them is 2 weeks time!

That's awful! :frown:

which Uni do you go too??
Do you live close enough to home to visit? Or maybe commute for a little while until you feel a bit better? x

Reply 6

elizajames

Original post by Jasminem97

That's awful! :frown:

which Uni do you go too??
Do you live close enough to home to visit? Or maybe commute for a little while until you feel a bit better? x

I'm at UWE in Bristol, and I'm from Southampton so it's not really commutable! :frown:

Reply 7

sorg61013

I would recommend visiting home for the weekend and speaking to your parents maybe? I have the same feelings as you, and I really dislike my course :frown:

I don't know whether I'll drop out or not, I'm going to give it a few more weeks & then decide, uni isn't for everyone, but maybe you just need more time to settle, hope you star feeling better!

Reply 8

Ezme39

Have you made many friends? This has made the world of difference to me at uni, because the first week was so lonely :smile:

Reply 9

elizajames

Original post by sorg61013

I would recommend visiting home for the weekend and speaking to your parents maybe? I have the same feelings as you, and I really dislike my course :frown:

I don't know whether I'll drop out or not, I'm going to give it a few more weeks & then decide, uni isn't for everyone, but maybe you just need more time to settle, hope you star feeling better!

I'm glad I'm not the only one. I am planning a weekend home soon, I just don't want my parents to know how I feel as I don't want them to worry and I feel I'll be letting them down in a way. It's really difficult isn't it? Thank you, I hope you do too. What are you studying?

Reply 10

elizajames

Original post by Ezme39

Have you made many friends? This has made the world of difference to me at uni, because the first week was so lonely :smile:

I have made some, but I'm just not overly close to anyone yet! I'm hoping this will change.

Reply 11

T-go

What are you studying?

Original post by elizajames

I have made some, but I'm just not overly close to anyone yet! I'm hoping this will change.

Reply 12

Leah K Stewart

Original post by elizajames

What are the rules for your first year marks? Mine didn't count towards the final degree classification and, if your uni does this, they do it to give students a chance to settle with new friends as you get started. I'm giving this advise knowing it sucks to hear (I'm an introvert who was terrified of being 'outcast' at uni as I wasn't anywhere near popular at school) but, basically, get on the uni website and look up all the student clubs/societies going. Pick maybe 3 that look interesting to you, message the people who run it and ask to attend their next meetup. The people who run these things are really friendly and always looking for new people to join. Don't expect to find best buddies right away but, if you keep showing up to the meeting and group socials, I promise you'll end up being part of the group. Once you're happy in terms of 'know people around here' then you'll be more emotionally settled to look at studies and you'll have people to say 'hi' to when you walk around, which is when I started feeling more comfortable.

Another one a friend told me worked for her, after she went to the uni therapist about issues including loneliness at uni, was the play-challenge to say "Hi, I'm NAME" to anyone of your peers in the next lecture. Bonus points for asking if there's a party or social they're going to soon and if you could come along. I personally prefer the club/society route, but she did this and it was her future boyfriend she spoke with.

On the other hand, if you're really not liking it at uni, you do not have to stay. You do not have to do anything. Everything you do is your choice. If you choose to leave because you know yourself well enough and have explored options to stay long enough to be confident enough to say 'not for me' then you've more courage than I had as a student where I was too scared to make any real choice about my own education. All the best elizajames.

Reply 13

UWE Bristol

Hi elizajames,

There’s some really good advice in this thread and I hope it’s made you feel a little bit better.

I’ve seen you have anappointment with the wellbeing adviser but wanted to let you know that we do have a Duty Practitioner who you can speak to on same day. If you’d like me to I can message you the contact details. Let me know

I hope this helps :smile:

Priscilla

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 14

elizajames

Original post by UWE Bristol

Priscilla

I would appreciate that - thank you!

Reply 15

returnmigrant

What you are feeling right now is quite normal and lots of other people will have reached this 'a bit glum' feeling at this point. After all the excitement of Freshers Week and 'I'm at University!', that initial feeling of euphoria has disappeared and you feel a bit ... lonely and deflated.

Its a good idea to see a counsellor as suggested above - this really will help as they are very used to dealing with homesickness (because that is all this is, promise) and they will know how to help you get back on track.

In the meantime, try not to sit in your room all day. Even if you don't feel like 'going out' with friends, make sure you do things like going for a walk every day and get to know Bristol a bit. There are heaps of interesting bits to explore - the Harbour, the Suspension Bridge, little shops in Clifton etc. This way you will start to focus more on 'what I like here' rather than just 'I miss my family'.

Write yourself sticky notes about something good/fun/interesting that happens each day and stick these all over your wall. Re-read these a lot, and you will see things getting more positive and that you feel more optimistic.

Hang on in there - it does get better, promise.