Why do some girls have such an issue with porn?
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Original post by elliemayxo
My question is, why do SO many girls have a massive issue with porn, or stop their boyfriends from watching it?
I always hear girls say how it's 'disgusting' or 'unrealistic' well yes it is unrealistic on some cases, but where is the harm? You watch it and it's done. It's next to impossible that you will ever meet the people in the video.
My question is to the girls who have an issue with it, why is it so bad in your eyes? What is the harm?
Posted from TSR Mobile
I always hear girls say how it's 'disgusting' or 'unrealistic' well yes it is unrealistic on some cases, but where is the harm? You watch it and it's done. It's next to impossible that you will ever meet the people in the video.
My question is to the girls who have an issue with it, why is it so bad in your eyes? What is the harm?
Posted from TSR Mobile
Perhaps you should ask individual girls rather than a whole forum, as everyone will have their own reasons.
There are many issues with porn (or, I should say, the kind of porn we currently consume in the West, rather than the concept of porn itself):
1 - It provides men, especially young men, with unrealistic expectations of sex. If you don't believe me, watch the channel 4 documentary that was on recently, about sex ed in schools. The boys thought that it was ok to expect a woman to swallow 'out of respect'.
2 - It objectifies women. If your girlfriend is a traditional feminist she probably won't like you watching porn. I'd say 90% of it focuses on the female body and is aimed at men. Go on pornhub now and click on a random video. See how long is spent going down on the girl compared to going down on the guy. It does not focus on women's pleasure - that's why the actresses seem to get off as soon as they are touched - aint nobody got time to get her in the mood, just have an orgasm already so I can finish my w ank.
3 - A lot of it is violent, or focuses on young girls / teens. You are assured when you watch it that these are women over 18 playing teens (and yeah ok sometimes they clearly are about 30), or that it is a 'fictional' rape scene (these exist even on mainstream sites). The thing is, how do you really know? Would that not weigh on your conscience a little when watching it? Also, whilst there's no evidence that this means you are going to be influenced and want to sleep with minors or go out and commit a rape, I still think a girlfriend is within her rights to be concerned if you are watching hardcore porn.
4 - On a more personal level, she might feel like porn is giving you something that should be her job to give you. A lot of the time obviously it doesn't mean that you love her any less but it's your job to assure her of this, if you insist on watching porn.
So there's just a few reasons although I'm sure many girls will have many more.
PS inb4 'typical feminazi' comments, I watch porn myself, and wouldn't have a problem with my boyfriend watching it. That doesn't mean I have to have a completely blinkered view of the politics of it. If you think porn is 100% kosher and there is nothing wrong with it then you are pretty dim.
OP I guess it's not about how the boyfriend feels after watching it, it's how they feel during watching it.
The girlfriend wants to provide that pleasure, not a random girl off the internet
Posted from TSR Mobile
The girlfriend wants to provide that pleasure, not a random girl off the internet
Posted from TSR Mobile
I used to have an issue with it, and some of it I still do to an extent because I think it can encourage a lot of unrealistic body standards and expectations of sex. A lot of it removes any notion of physical intimacy, which to be honest is extremely important to me. So I didn't find any of the porn I watched arousing in any way, and it made me sad to think that this is what a lot of people grow up expecting from sex. Especially when they don't know any better because they have no real sexual experiences. A lot of people with porn addictions suffer from ED in real life because they can't find any real human sexual contact as arousing as the porn they watch, and to a large extent I still think this is perverse.
However I recently watched a bit of homemade/ amateur stuff and this I found to be pretty good actually- real couples, real sex and intimacy.
Maybe I'm just an old romantic, but I just don't find a lot of the mainstream stuff in any way sexy. Fake moaning, fake everything and steroid-y men who just jackhammer for like 40 minutes. No thanks.
However I recently watched a bit of homemade/ amateur stuff and this I found to be pretty good actually- real couples, real sex and intimacy.
Maybe I'm just an old romantic, but I just don't find a lot of the mainstream stuff in any way sexy. Fake moaning, fake everything and steroid-y men who just jackhammer for like 40 minutes. No thanks.
Original post by TheTipsyTarsier
Not a clue. New boyfriend is looking forward to watching some together hah. Maybe more people should try that.
Yes they should
Original post by missmillie12345
I used to have an issue with it, and some of it I still do to an extent because I think it can encourage a lot of unrealistic body standards and expectations of sex. A lot of it removes any notion of physical intimacy, which to be honest is extremely important to me. So I didn't find any of the porn I watched arousing in any way, and it made me sad to think that this is what a lot of people grow up expecting from sex. Especially when they don't know any better because they have no real sexual experiences. A lot of people with porn addictions suffer from ED in real life because they can't find any real human sexual contact as arousing as the porn they watch, and to a large extent I still think this is perverse.
However I recently watched a bit of homemade/ amateur stuff and this I found to be pretty good actually- real couples, real sex and intimacy.
Maybe I'm just an old romantic, but I just don't find a lot of the mainstream stuff in any way sexy. Fake moaning, fake everything and steroid-y men who just jackhammer for like 40 minutes. No thanks.
However I recently watched a bit of homemade/ amateur stuff and this I found to be pretty good actually- real couples, real sex and intimacy.
Maybe I'm just an old romantic, but I just don't find a lot of the mainstream stuff in any way sexy. Fake moaning, fake everything and steroid-y men who just jackhammer for like 40 minutes. No thanks.
There is so much of this on the internet and it gets ignored in all the porn wars arguments.
I've said it before but most professional porn is like watching stepford wives **** each other :-/
Original post by Tailored_Suit
This doesn't even make sense. How does having an aversion to porn make you a whore?
He means that feminists claim that having load of ONS should be accepted but they criticize guys for watching porn.
I think they believe it may cause unrealistic expectations of sex and body standards for women. This can happen for men too *ahem penis size ahem* but let's be honest, most porn videos film the women, and aren't focused on the man; just his penis really.
On top of that, they may feel they aren't good enough in some way; that they aren't pleasuring you to the extent where you don't need porn.
Perhaps in a relationship, the way to get around this is to maybe watch porn together. That way both parties can choose something where both the man and woman involved are catered too, and it isn't just hardcore pounding done by the man.
Personally I just watch the professional stuff, not the amateur, and never watch these supposed rape scenes. What turns me on is if the woman initiates and/or is super horny and catered to so she isn't faking it.
On top of that, they may feel they aren't good enough in some way; that they aren't pleasuring you to the extent where you don't need porn.
Perhaps in a relationship, the way to get around this is to maybe watch porn together. That way both parties can choose something where both the man and woman involved are catered too, and it isn't just hardcore pounding done by the man.
Personally I just watch the professional stuff, not the amateur, and never watch these supposed rape scenes. What turns me on is if the woman initiates and/or is super horny and catered to so she isn't faking it.
Original post by ChaoticButterfly
There is so much of this on the internet and it gets ignored in all the porn wars arguments.
I've said it before but most professional porn is like watching stepford wives **** each other :-/
I've said it before but most professional porn is like watching stepford wives **** each other :-/
yeah. Well I didn't even think to try it until a friend suggested it to be honest. Tried it a few times now and I'm a convert to homemade stuff
HAHA that's a fantastic analogy. Love it.
Original post by elliemayxo
I guess I'm too 'cold' for that. I don't see anything hot about watching the whole intimacy love thing, to me it's just like ffs, get to the point. You know what I mean?
Posted from TSR Mobile
Posted from TSR Mobile
don't get me wrong I'm not all rose petals and ****. Far from it. Maybe my opinions on this will change as I get older and have more experiences but I really don't see the point of watching or having sex like that. I don't find the idea of just being pummelled repeatedly by some apathetic wall of muscle in any way arousing
I could go out and buy a toy and have the same experience. At least give me someone I have chemistry or a connection with, you know?Original post by Tailored_Suit
But there will be many times where porn will be more practical, such as when the girlfriend is absent or you don't want the hassle of having full blown sex.
If the girlfriend is absent, surely the guy can cope in doing nothing sexual? Sounds like you're saying the girlfriend is only there to fulfil sexual desires
then when theyre absent, porn saves the day :/Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by abc:)
Perhaps you should ask individual girls rather than a whole forum, as everyone will have their own reasons.
There are many issues with porn (or, I should say, the kind of porn we currently consume in the West, rather than the concept of porn itself):
1 - It provides men, especially young men, with unrealistic expectations of sex. If you don't believe me, watch the channel 4 documentary that was on recently, about sex ed in schools. The boys thought that it was ok to expect a woman to swallow 'out of respect'.
2 - It objectifies women. If your girlfriend is a traditional feminist she probably won't like you watching porn. I'd say 90% of it focuses on the female body and is aimed at men. Go on pornhub now and click on a random video. See how long is spent going down on the girl compared to going down on the guy. It does not focus on women's pleasure - that's why the actresses seem to get off as soon as they are touched - aint nobody got time to get her in the mood, just have an orgasm already so I can finish my w ank.
3 - A lot of it is violent, or focuses on young girls / teens. You are assured when you watch it that these are women over 18 playing teens (and yeah ok sometimes they clearly are about 30), or that it is a 'fictional' rape scene (these exist even on mainstream sites). The thing is, how do you really know? Would that not weigh on your conscience a little when watching it? Also, whilst there's no evidence that this means you are going to be influenced and want to sleep with minors or go out and commit a rape, I still think a girlfriend is within her rights to be concerned if you are watching hardcore porn.
4 - On a more personal level, she might feel like porn is giving you something that should be her job to give you. A lot of the time obviously it doesn't mean that you love her any less but it's your job to assure her of this, if you insist on watching porn.
So there's just a few reasons although I'm sure many girls will have many more.
PS inb4 'typical feminazi' comments, I watch porn myself, and wouldn't have a problem with my boyfriend watching it. That doesn't mean I have to have a completely blinkered view of the politics of it. If you think porn is 100% kosher and there is nothing wrong with it then you are pretty dim.
There are many issues with porn (or, I should say, the kind of porn we currently consume in the West, rather than the concept of porn itself):
1 - It provides men, especially young men, with unrealistic expectations of sex. If you don't believe me, watch the channel 4 documentary that was on recently, about sex ed in schools. The boys thought that it was ok to expect a woman to swallow 'out of respect'.
2 - It objectifies women. If your girlfriend is a traditional feminist she probably won't like you watching porn. I'd say 90% of it focuses on the female body and is aimed at men. Go on pornhub now and click on a random video. See how long is spent going down on the girl compared to going down on the guy. It does not focus on women's pleasure - that's why the actresses seem to get off as soon as they are touched - aint nobody got time to get her in the mood, just have an orgasm already so I can finish my w ank.
3 - A lot of it is violent, or focuses on young girls / teens. You are assured when you watch it that these are women over 18 playing teens (and yeah ok sometimes they clearly are about 30), or that it is a 'fictional' rape scene (these exist even on mainstream sites). The thing is, how do you really know? Would that not weigh on your conscience a little when watching it? Also, whilst there's no evidence that this means you are going to be influenced and want to sleep with minors or go out and commit a rape, I still think a girlfriend is within her rights to be concerned if you are watching hardcore porn.
4 - On a more personal level, she might feel like porn is giving you something that should be her job to give you. A lot of the time obviously it doesn't mean that you love her any less but it's your job to assure her of this, if you insist on watching porn.
So there's just a few reasons although I'm sure many girls will have many more.
PS inb4 'typical feminazi' comments, I watch porn myself, and wouldn't have a problem with my boyfriend watching it. That doesn't mean I have to have a completely blinkered view of the politics of it. If you think porn is 100% kosher and there is nothing wrong with it then you are pretty dim.
1.Those teenage boys are a poor representation of the male gender, but a smaller percentage of teenage boys are expected to be crude and immature.
2.It is not objectification, when the majority of porn actresses consent in partaking in porn activities,they know about the industry.The consumers are mostly male so it is not expected to be cater to a woman's needs.
3.The average porn consumer does not out on porn.
I think people just overact when comes to porn.
I don't think it's something I'd be bothered about. I don't watch porn myself, but I don't think it's a big deal.. if my boyfriend (if I had a boyfriend) watched it, I doubt I'd particularly care.
Personally, I don't think it's that major, I can understand why people would prefer if their partner didn't watch it but...it's just porn, guys are going to watch it anyway, in and out of a relationship. Same goes for females really.
With regards to the assumption that it causes unrealistic expectations, I don't really think that exists to the extent that people make out. If you know what your partner looks like body wise and you liked them for how they looked I doubt that watching porn will make you expect more because you are already satisfied with what they have.
The size thing also doesn't make sense, if the majority of guys irl don't have big penises as portrayed in porn then, why are there so many guys in porn who have them
With regards to the assumption that it causes unrealistic expectations, I don't really think that exists to the extent that people make out. If you know what your partner looks like body wise and you liked them for how they looked I doubt that watching porn will make you expect more because you are already satisfied with what they have.
The size thing also doesn't make sense, if the majority of guys irl don't have big penises as portrayed in porn then, why are there so many guys in porn who have them
Original post by liquidconfidence
With regards to the assumption that it causes unrealistic expectations, I don't really think that exists to the extent that people make out. If you know what your partner looks like body wise and you liked them for how they looked I doubt that watching porn will make you expect more because you are already satisfied with what they have.
With regards to the assumption that it causes unrealistic expectations, I don't really think that exists to the extent that people make out. If you know what your partner looks like body wise and you liked them for how they looked I doubt that watching porn will make you expect more because you are already satisfied with what they have.
It's the same as saying 'we should ban GTA and Call of Duty because it encourages violence'.
By this logic we should ban any work of fiction because it gives unrealistic expectations of everything.
Moreover, female romance novels are as unrealistic, if not more, as porn (50 Shades...).
Original post by liquidconfidence
The size thing also doesn't make sense, if the majority of guys irl don't have big penises as portrayed in porn then, why are there so many guys in porn who have them
The size thing also doesn't make sense, if the majority of guys irl don't have big penises as portrayed in porn then, why are there so many guys in porn who have them
Same a why Hollywood actors are all handsome?
(edited 8 years ago)
I don't see anything wrong with watching porn but personally it's not for me at all.
Women don't like it because it's unrealistic, they want to be the only girl their partner looks at like that, jealousy, and various other reasons.
Women don't like it because it's unrealistic, they want to be the only girl their partner looks at like that, jealousy, and various other reasons.
Original post by littlenorthernlass
I don't see anything wrong with watching porn but personally it's not for me at all.
Women don't like it because it's unrealistic, they want to be the only girl their partner looks at like that, jealousy, and various other reasons.
Women don't like it because it's unrealistic, they want to be the only girl their partner looks at like that, jealousy, and various other reasons.
"Women don't like it because it's unrealistic" if you're speaking on behalf of all women there, then you're absolutely wrong. Yes it is unrealistic sometimes but as I mentioned before, so are television soaps and films.
Guys have eyes, they will look at other girls. Any girl who thinks that their boyfriend doesn't is naive and deluded.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by elliemayxo
"Women don't like it because it's unrealistic" if you're speaking on behalf of all women there, then you're absolutely wrong. Yes it is unrealistic sometimes but as I mentioned before, so are television soaps and films.
Guys have eyes, they will look at other girls. Any girl who thinks that their boyfriend doesn't is naive and deluded.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Guys have eyes, they will look at other girls. Any girl who thinks that their boyfriend doesn't is naive and deluded.
Posted from TSR Mobile
That's irrelevant and I was stating my opinion only. The point is that there is a lot of pressure on women to look a certain way and there are many reasons as to why porn doesn't help this.
That said, I have absolutely nothing against people watching porn, I'm used to the idea of all men watching it now, even if I find it bizarre.
Original post by Josb
Same a why Hollywood actors are all handsome?
Same a why Hollywood actors are all handsome?
Original post by ChaoticButterfly
X
There are porn actors with average dicks too.
I don't think it's all that but as long as people understand that a lot of it is scripted then it's fine and don't get addicted. Another issue is it can put unrealistic images of especially women's bodies. I find in quite a few videos the woman is manipulated into having sex somehow though (even if it's scripted). 
It's funny seeing in the comments people discussing politics on a porn website.
It's funny seeing in the comments people discussing politics on a porn website.
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