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I'm not allowed to take my head scarf off

As I'm sitting down typing, I cant help but wonder if religion is man made. I have been researching science a lot lately and unfortunately it has made me doubt the religion that I have grown up with and loved one day. To know that Islam could of been man made is as bad as finding out that santa is not real.

Moving on, I created this thread as I would like advice from people who do and do not not practice Islam. I wore a headscarf(hijab) when I was 8 years old because I was scared of my swimming teacher and I am now 22 years old and I still wear it. The reason why I would like to take it off is because of many reasons 1): I am not religious and 2): nobody is employing me. In regards to point two, I have a degree and a years experience in the business sector but for some reason my hijab is a barrier for me. Although I do have many family members who do not rock the hijab, I have very strict parents(mum is reading the quran as I type) and they care very much about me going to "heaven" and about what the community will say. I cant take it off behind their back because I literally have cousins living in every corner of England and the word will spread quick. I have tried speaking to my mum and she told my dad who said to me"its in our quran, you must follow our holy book". What an earth do I do? I do not want to run away because my parents are fair to me. I even have a uncle who is always asking me take it off but my mum laughs at him and takes it lightly when he is serious!!!!

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are you saying you dont believe in islam? or your not comfortable with a headscarf? 2 different things gurlll
In Britain you are free, NO ONE can force you what to wear, remember that. Wear what you feel comfortable in, and enjoy to be seen in. I've read the qu'ran and it really depends how seriously you take it but if someone were to take it very seriously, I would consider it rather sexist. However, wearing a head scarf in today's world (so long as it's not the almost fully covered head scarf) is not really a bad experience, as the climate in Britain isn't extremely hot here :tongue:

tldr: It's your choice and go with whatever you like.
Original post by RiverOfTears
Why can't you just be open to your parents huh?

Why do you need to rant on here?

Silly how you're 22 and still act like a 15 year old keeping secrets away from their parents.


Are you being deliberately retarded :erm: ? Did you not read the OP? Here, I'll even do the hard work for you:


Original post by Anonymous
I have very strict parents(mum is reading the quran as I type) and they care very much about me going to "heaven" and about what the community will say. I cant take it off behind their back because I literally have cousins living in every corner of England and the word will spread quick. I have tried speaking to my mum and she told my dad who said to me"its in our quran, you must follow our holy book".
Original post by somemightsay888
Are you being deliberately retarded :erm: ? Did you not read the OP? Here, I'll even do the hard work for you:


No I ain't. So what if parents are "strict". There is a soft side to everyone. She said "behind their back and whatever". Well if she has an uncle why not get him to help?

Calcium ain't helping no doot doot.
Original post by RiverOfTears
Why can't you just be open to your parents huh?

Why do you need to rant on here?

Silly how you're 22 and still act like a 15 year old keeping secrets away from their parents.


Seriously why do you feel the need to be so insensitive for?
If you even bothered to read the thread she said she already spoke to her mum so she's not hiding anything.
There's nothing wrong with asking for advice here, so don't bother commenting if you have nothing useful to add.

Anyways OP, there's nothing wrong with reading up about Science, just make sure you research into Islam too.
Ultimately it's your choice if you want to wear the headscarf, don't just wear because you have to, be happy when wearing it and wear it with a purpose.

I think the job thing is ridiculous. They shouldn't be excluding you just because you wear a head scarf, you're better off not working at those places if they're going to discriminate like that.

Have more talks with your parents and make a choice that's right for you :smile:
Reply 6
Avatar for AH127
AH127
12
If you're not religious but your parents are still trying to push their religious beliefs on to you, that's simply not fair. They have the best intentions, I'm sure, but they need to understand and respect your decision to stray away from Islam. If you aren't getting a job simply because of your headscarf, then I don't see any reason to keep it on. If your parents are as caring as you say they are, surely they'll understand you wanting to take it off. Personally, I think you'd be best off just being as genuine as possible with them.

As a side note, I'd recommend looking in to Islam and its viability if you're interested in it. I won't bash Islam here, but I think you'll be able to reasonably guess if it's man made or not by simply looking at the evidence and using your own common sense. Christopher Hitchens has a beautiful quote about this kind of thing: "Take the risk of thinking for yourself - much more happiness, truth, beauty, and wisdom will come to you that way".

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

:smile:
So....

Take it off then. You're your own woman now, you can do whatever you wish.
----
(edited 8 years ago)
Coming out to your parents about this may prove a difficult task, but it is the right thing to do. You must never feel forced to practice something you don't want to and I'm sure that your parents will come to understand that. They may be initially upset, but remember that, ultimately, they care more for you than the Quran - from their point of view they want to make sure you follow it to get to heaven after al!

Once they see that, as a person, you don't fundamentally change personality just because you decided to change your views about Islam they should appreciate you for who you are. People connect more on a personality level than shared views.

Remember that the problem doesn't lie with you. You are free person after all and if they can't accept your decision then, frankly, that's their issue.

EDIT: On the issue of Islam being man-made, when you look at the history it strongly seems to be. It was written to reflect the thinking of the people at the time. The world is a big place with a lot of history and religions - I can't help but find it curious how each person feels that, out of all the hundreds of religions and associated civilisations from around the world, they hit the right one.
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by Starvation13
The last time i checked the hijab was highly recommended but not obligatory

Can I-SOC confirm?

@HAnwar


It is obligatory for all Muslim women who have reached the age of puberty.
Original post by RiverOfTears
Why can't you just be open to your parents huh?

Why do you need to rant on here?

Silly how you're 22 and still act like a 15 year old keeping secrets away from their parents.


Strong ignorance.
Original post by Starvation13
The last time i checked the hijab was highly recommended but not obligatory

Can I-SOC confirm?

@HAnwar


No it is compulsory.
It's the face veil which is optional (although some see it as complusory too).
Original post by So Instinct
Strong ignorance.


Coming from an Ex-Muslim... duh
Reply 14
Avatar for HAnwar
HAnwar
17
Original post by Starvation13
The last time i checked the hijab was highly recommended but not obligatory

Can I-SOC confirm?

@HAnwar


It's definitely complusory as the four madhaabs have stated.
Original post by RiverOfTears
Coming from an Ex-Muslim... duh


If you think she going to be able to appeal to her parents soft side then well, that says it all really.
Original post by RiverOfTears
No I ain't. So what if parents are "strict". There is a soft side to everyone.

She said "behind their back and whatever".


But....

Original post by Anonymous
I have tried speaking to my mum and she told my dad who said to me"its in our quran, you must follow our holy book"



Original post by RiverOfTears
Well if she has an uncle why not get him to help?


But...

Original post by Anonymous
my mum laughs at him and takes it lightly when he is serious!!!!


Original post by RiverOfTears
Calcium ain't helping no doot doot.


Thank mr skeltal
Reply 17
Avatar for jislam
jislam
1
Hi
I also have religious parents however they are not strict. I am a boy however i have 3 older sisters which do not wear hijabs and my parents know everything is there choice. They want us to practice strictly Islam and they hammer down at us to do it but they know it is your choice and at 22 you should make your own decisions. They may not be happy at first but they are your parents and they know you have a right to your own opinion as do they.

Posted from TSR Mobile
Strong pun tho :rofl:
Original post by Anonymous
I cant help but wonder if religion is man made.


What makes you say that? Even if religion was man made, do you believe that we happened by chance?

Original post by Anonymous
I have been researching science a lot lately and unfortunately it has made me doubt the religion that I have grown up with and loved one day.


What part of science made you doubt your religion?

Original post by Anonymous
To know that Islam could of been man made is as bad as finding out that santa is not real.


I'm sorry, I personally find that to be an awful analogy.

Original post by Anonymous
I created this thread as I would like advice from people who do and do not not practice Islam. (…) The reason why I would like to take it off is because of many reasons 1): I am not religious and 2): nobody is employing me. In regards to point two, I have a degree and a years experience in the business sector but for some reason my hijab is a barrier for me.


So, you're seeking advice on how to steer your way into taking it off? Practising a faith isn't something that should be forced down your throat to begin with. If you truly want to get your 'answers', you seek them. Getting rid of your veil only says (to me), “I'm not bothered.” And with regards to your second reason to taking off your veil, I find it petty.

I'm sorry I'm not providing much help. I'm just… amused. You've spent fourteen years wearing something that holds little or no value to you.


Posted from TSR Mobile
(edited 8 years ago)

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