Could you date someone who didn't go to university?

This may seem a weird question. I'm doing online dating at the moment and I'm having a degree of success (pun intended). There's one girl I'm talking to who didn't go to university but is working as an office manager/ waitress. I'm quite an intellectual person and I'm unsure how compatible I would be with someone who isn't as educated as I am.

The reason I think this is I'm not really one for small talk; I enjoy talking, but more about topics that 'matter' or are interesting. Therefore, I'm not sure if this would be a barrier - considering they may not be able to discuss things on the same level as me or may not even be interested in doing so.

I wouldn't let this stop me dating this person/ seeing how it goes. What does everyone else think?

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Reply 1

EloiseStar

Original post by Anonymous

I did date somebody who didn't go to university. He did an apprenticeship and through connections and networking, he was very successful for a 20 year old. I think it depends on context and circumstances really. One of the cons of dating him, was that he didn't really understand my schedule - likewise, I had an irregular timetable and could talk in the middle of the day and he couldn't. Might sound silly but it made things hard to communicate for a number of reasons.

After graduation, I would probably date somebody who hadn't gone to university. As long as I found them intellectually stimulating and ambitious, as well as all the other things I like in a man then I would date them. I don't think intellect or ambition is dependent upon a degree, similarly, a degree doesn't guarantee such things.

I'm currently dating somebody who is at the same university as me but there are a few 'niggles', perhaps more than with the guy I dated/was in a serious relationship with who was non-university educated.

Reply 2

LonelyDemon

Just because someone didn't go to university doesn't meant he/she is stupid. Personally it wouldn't bother me in the slightest as long she is doing something with her life

Reply 3

TornadoGR4

As she seems like a hard working woman, she could probably do better than some snobby kid from the internet

Reply 4

driftawaay

People who have preconceived notions about someone just because they didnt go to university need to get that stick out of their arse. OP you dont sound like you deserve her anyway, so do her a favour and leave her alone. Find some uptight posh bitch instead.

PS. None of the most wealthy people I have known in my life went to university.

Reply 5

Anonymous #2

My partner never went to university but he is one of the smartest men I know (he did an apprenticeship and worked his way up into engineering).

Not enjoying small talk is more of personal preference rather than something you can attribute closely to people being ambitious I think. Me and boyfriend talk about 'deep' topics daily without flinching it's just natural and fun for us, but I think it's more to do with the fact we're both heavily introverted.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

So many assumptions made here, I expected some comments along these lines but nothing quite as venomous. Whatever, I understand where some of you are coming from but as far as I'm concerned there's no need to get so personal.

I agree, I think I was wrong in assuming just because she didn't go to university that she may not be interested or able to discuss topics to the extent I'm able to. I would try and convey my thoughts more on this topic but I don't fancy any more backlash.

Original post by LonelyDemon

Just because someone didn't go to university doesn't meant he/she is stupid. Personally it wouldn't bother me in the slightest as long she is doing something with her life

Original post by TornadoGR4

As she seems like a hard working woman, she could probably do better than some snobby kid from the internet

Original post by driftawaay

Reply 7

driftawaay

Original post by Anonymous

So many assumptions made here

Exactly. Stop doing it.

Reply 8

Sesshomaru24U

'It is not wise to judge others based on your own preconceptions and by their appearances.'

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

Original post by driftawaay

Exactly. Stop doing it.

Hypocrite. You made assumptions about me, the type of people who go to university and posh people. You're worse than I am. Get off your high horse.

Reply 10

driftawaay

Original post by Anonymous

Hypocrite. You made assumptions about me, the type of people who go to university and posh people. You're worse than I am. Get off your high horse.

No. That's what you did. :smile:

Reply 11

Danny the Geezer

yeah cos university educated=intelligent :no:

Reply 12

MaseratiJay

I think you need to be taught some life lessons - uni may have given you knowledge in whatever subject you did but you don't really seem to have the normal skills that most humans need to survive and thrive in the world.

For you to even come on here and suggest that she would be interested in small talk and possibly not anything that 'matters' is actually making me feel ill.

I don't understand people like you OP, I'm not even having a go, I'm genuinely bewildered by your post and your way of thinking.

Maybe you're just one of those people...and I can't explain that further but I know most TSR users will know what I mean by that.

Reply 13

loya61

Original post by Anonymous

Some of most successful people I know didn't go to university, and one is a millionaire. Meanwhile, the people I know who did go to university now have a 9 - 5 office job.

Reply 14

Rum Ham

I'm already with someone who hasn't went to uni and never wants to go. It has no impact on our relationship whatsoever. So yeah, I would date someone if they had never been to uni.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 15

meenu89

Of course. My husband did an apprenticeship with an electrical contractor and is now a Electrician.

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 16

kka25

Original post by driftawaay

No. That's what you did. :smile:

I find the OP underlining his modal verb 'may' to be a tad over the top for his post; as if we are not as 'educated' as he is :rolleyes:

And I have a degree too :awesome:

Reply 17

TorpidPhil

Going to university really doesn't guarantee knowledge. IT helps, but only in one tiny aspect of life. It isn't holistic at all.

I would say on average girls who don't go to uni are less intelligent and also less knowledgeable. ANd I wouldn't date someone who was far less knowledgeable than I because I hate small talk all the time too. I want someone who can tickle my brain :smile:

Still, it certainly isn't an instant "no" just because they didn't go to uni because there are still many knowledgeable and intelligent people who didn't.

Reply 18

driftawaay

Original post by TorpidPhil

Still, it certainly isn't an instant "no" just because they didn't go to uni because there are still many knowledgeable and intelligent people who didn't.

It is certainly true that people who go tuni are more inteligent and knowledgeable on average, but that doesn't mean that it is right to have prejudice against people who haven't gone to uni just because they haven't gone to uni without even knowing them or what they really are like as an individual. OP is prejudiced about this girl not because she proved herself to be less knowledgeable than he is, but just because he is automatically prejudiced towards her. I wonder if he is also prejudiced against Richard Branson, Simon Cowell, Mark Zuckerberg etc?

This is exactly thes ame as being racist as far as I am concerned, like ethnic people are less likely to go to go to higher education or more likely to be in poverty etc, so its as if someone automatically said they would never date or be friends with someone who is ethnic because what if they are stupid and on benefits or anything, when that person might be a doctor.

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 19

Anonymous #1

Original post by driftawaay

I don't see how I expressed prejudice if statistically those who go to university are more intelligent. Being prejudiced would be to not date her based on this fact. I never said that. I expressly said "I wouldn't let this stop me dating this person/ seeing how it goes" and then asked what other people thought.

This situation is far different to racism. Racist attitudes are completely irrational because there's no objective basis on which to hold racist beliefs.