Counselling
I've been on my uni course for two years, just started my third year.
Basically, I really struggle with talking to people and have a real problem with presentations, I can't even say anything when standing up in front of people.
This makes class participation another huge problem which has clearly been noticed by my teachers who have referred me to the college counsellor.
I kinda know I've not always been like this it's just slowly getting worse and worse. I was referred to counselling twice at sixth form, because I basically struggled to cope with whatever was going on back then. I didn't feel any better the first two times, I went a few times and then I stopped going.
Anyway, I'm waiting for the counselling service to message me but I just don't see it working again. I really don't know what to do and have absolutely no idea who to talk to. This whole counselling thing is really scaring me.
Any advice or previous experiences would be greatly appreciated.
(I kinda know that this isn't a question or anything but I was kinda hoping for subjective opinions, i don't feel comfortable telling my friends this stuff)
Basically, I really struggle with talking to people and have a real problem with presentations, I can't even say anything when standing up in front of people.
This makes class participation another huge problem which has clearly been noticed by my teachers who have referred me to the college counsellor.
I kinda know I've not always been like this it's just slowly getting worse and worse. I was referred to counselling twice at sixth form, because I basically struggled to cope with whatever was going on back then. I didn't feel any better the first two times, I went a few times and then I stopped going.
Anyway, I'm waiting for the counselling service to message me but I just don't see it working again. I really don't know what to do and have absolutely no idea who to talk to. This whole counselling thing is really scaring me.
Any advice or previous experiences would be greatly appreciated.
(I kinda know that this isn't a question or anything but I was kinda hoping for subjective opinions, i don't feel comfortable telling my friends this stuff)
Original post by MelancholyDog
I've been on my uni course for two years, just started my third year.
Basically, I really struggle with talking to people and have a real problem with presentations, I can't even say anything when standing up in front of people.
This makes class participation another huge problem which has clearly been noticed by my teachers who have referred me to the college counsellor.
I kinda know I've not always been like this it's just slowly getting worse and worse. I was referred to counselling twice at sixth form, because I basically struggled to cope with whatever was going on back then. I didn't feel any better the first two times, I went a few times and then I stopped going.
Anyway, I'm waiting for the counselling service to message me but I just don't see it working again. I really don't know what to do and have absolutely no idea who to talk to. This whole counselling thing is really scaring me.
Any advice or previous experiences would be greatly appreciated.
(I kinda know that this isn't a question or anything but I was kinda hoping for subjective opinions, i don't feel comfortable telling my friends this stuff)
Basically, I really struggle with talking to people and have a real problem with presentations, I can't even say anything when standing up in front of people.
This makes class participation another huge problem which has clearly been noticed by my teachers who have referred me to the college counsellor.
I kinda know I've not always been like this it's just slowly getting worse and worse. I was referred to counselling twice at sixth form, because I basically struggled to cope with whatever was going on back then. I didn't feel any better the first two times, I went a few times and then I stopped going.
Anyway, I'm waiting for the counselling service to message me but I just don't see it working again. I really don't know what to do and have absolutely no idea who to talk to. This whole counselling thing is really scaring me.
Any advice or previous experiences would be greatly appreciated.
(I kinda know that this isn't a question or anything but I was kinda hoping for subjective opinions, i don't feel comfortable telling my friends this stuff)
I would suggest you try the counselling, you never know it might work!!
The thing I don't like about counselling is that it's SO one-to-one and when I'm in a room with a stranger, I want to get whatever need doing Done so I can leave. The last thing I want is talk about 'feelings' with this person. I want them to go first 
But that's not how counselling generally works. Other options: some appropriate 'group counselling' sessions? I've never tried this but I think at least it's not 'all on you' and you can pass if you want. Question though; are YOU ok with your level of talking to people ability? and as for presentations; unless you're actually going to opt to do them in the future, those you do at uni might be the last you do and, in my view, they could just get you to record the presentation via audio/video in your own time and then answer questions live after they show the footage. I personally think this would be a smart way to solve this thing, without pulling up ideas of you needing to be different to fit in with their needs? Other idea: I became really quiet when I realised that I didn't care about what I was doing with my time... first at uni and then in a job where people ask "What do you do?" and I was forced to say a job title out loud while, in my head going "But that's not me! That word doesn't represent me at all! Ahhh, and now you're judging me based on that answer. great, crap start to a conversation! I'd like to go now please." Now people ask me what I do and I tell them about what I care most about in the world, because that's what I'm doing. It only take a few people to write and say 'love what you're doing, please keep going' to re-wire ideas about speaking to/in-front of others. Hope this helps a little. I'm not 'paper-qualified' to say anything really, so if you do anything based on this be sure it's something that makes sense to you and that you're happy with.
But that's not how counselling generally works. Other options: some appropriate 'group counselling' sessions? I've never tried this but I think at least it's not 'all on you' and you can pass if you want. Question though; are YOU ok with your level of talking to people ability? and as for presentations; unless you're actually going to opt to do them in the future, those you do at uni might be the last you do and, in my view, they could just get you to record the presentation via audio/video in your own time and then answer questions live after they show the footage. I personally think this would be a smart way to solve this thing, without pulling up ideas of you needing to be different to fit in with their needs? Other idea: I became really quiet when I realised that I didn't care about what I was doing with my time... first at uni and then in a job where people ask "What do you do?" and I was forced to say a job title out loud while, in my head going "But that's not me! That word doesn't represent me at all! Ahhh, and now you're judging me based on that answer. great, crap start to a conversation! I'd like to go now please." Now people ask me what I do and I tell them about what I care most about in the world, because that's what I'm doing. It only take a few people to write and say 'love what you're doing, please keep going' to re-wire ideas about speaking to/in-front of others. Hope this helps a little. I'm not 'paper-qualified' to say anything really, so if you do anything based on this be sure it's something that makes sense to you and that you're happy with.I think that's what I don't like about it, it takes me ages to get comfortable with people so trying to talk about feelings and stuff with anyone it generally makes me want to talk a hell of a lot less. Which obviously makes counselling very off putting. And I don't really know where to go to get any other help since I'm kinda being pushed in the right direction by my teacher and a friend at college. I kinda know the Drs do stuff like this but I don't like having to call them since the receptionists want to know everything.
As for presentations, I don't know if I'll never ever have to do one again. Not being able to do them at all and hoping I won't ever need to doesn't sound like a good plan. I'm applying for bae for a graduate scheme so there will be interviews but I've heard that there is a presentation (just what I heard from a friend). I currently don't think I could even go into the interview room and give it a good go with how I'm feeling right now.
I don't know whether I could record my dissertation but I can always ask, just don't know whether it would be considered an unfair advantage.
As for not caring what I do. I currently work as a cleaner for the extra money, something which I definitely try to hide, my degree is in mechanical and production engineering, and at the start of last year I really didn't want to be doing it. It was too late to change course, so I've stuck at it but I've been thinking about leaving or taking a gap year. I kinda don't see any direction with anything I'm doing right now.
I mean I probably will talk to this counsellor, mostly because I don't wanna disappoint my friend and teacher, but I just wanted some other perspective on it.
Thanks
As for presentations, I don't know if I'll never ever have to do one again. Not being able to do them at all and hoping I won't ever need to doesn't sound like a good plan. I'm applying for bae for a graduate scheme so there will be interviews but I've heard that there is a presentation (just what I heard from a friend). I currently don't think I could even go into the interview room and give it a good go with how I'm feeling right now.
I don't know whether I could record my dissertation but I can always ask, just don't know whether it would be considered an unfair advantage.
As for not caring what I do. I currently work as a cleaner for the extra money, something which I definitely try to hide, my degree is in mechanical and production engineering, and at the start of last year I really didn't want to be doing it. It was too late to change course, so I've stuck at it but I've been thinking about leaving or taking a gap year. I kinda don't see any direction with anything I'm doing right now.
I mean I probably will talk to this counsellor, mostly because I don't wanna disappoint my friend and teacher, but I just wanted some other perspective on it.
Thanks
I've had counselling 3 times for similar reasons (anxiety and self esteem issues). It never worked for me, but don't let that discourage you.
You have to be ready to participate with your counselor. They can't force you to do anything, but they'll tell you time after time that it's for YOU to get better. Which means that they may ask you to talk in front of small groups of people (family, friends etc) after having a long meaningful talk to you about your feelings. Just be ready to participate. In my experience counselors are nice to you if you're nice to them (which means giving them input and doing homework-type-things).
Only downside is the CAMHS referral service takes 3+ months to get you a counselor. By then it could have gotten better, could have gotten worse.
You have to be ready to participate with your counselor. They can't force you to do anything, but they'll tell you time after time that it's for YOU to get better. Which means that they may ask you to talk in front of small groups of people (family, friends etc) after having a long meaningful talk to you about your feelings. Just be ready to participate. In my experience counselors are nice to you if you're nice to them (which means giving them input and doing homework-type-things).
Only downside is the CAMHS referral service takes 3+ months to get you a counselor. By then it could have gotten better, could have gotten worse.
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