Uni for people scared of people

hi, so I'm supposed to probably maybe go to uni next year and honestly I'm terrified. I'm so shy and suffer with anxiety + talking to people in general, i get nervous + feel like crying, so I have no idea how I'd handle the first day/week, especially if someone tried to say hi and I started crying.
I'm just going to the closest Uni because I couldn't handle all the change and being so far from home, so will be commuting and will not make friends via halls. I'm not the kind of person who can just join in with something or join clubs and I hate clubbing but I do drink a bit, so basically I don't know how I'll get through freshers week if I'm floating around the edge. Also I'm awful at talking and even if I'm talking to one of my friends I run out of things to talk about quickly, I don't have much to say, I'm a gal of few words. It's not just something I can change but I will loosen up after a little while.
Did anyone have my mindset/is terrified too? I feel helpless no one else seems to be worried at all

Reply 1

fasial96.

Original post by Spokesss

this me LOL i get really nervous when im around people i don't know

Reply 2

Carnationlilyrose

Original post by Spokesss

I'd get your issues sorted out before going to university. You'll be wasting your time and having a bad experience otherwise. Or consider the Open University and do it from home.

Reply 3

Spokesss

honestly it's not just something I can fix, though it does change daily depending on how others react to me, if I'm feeling ignored ill be really down, and if I'm having a really good convo then ill be alot better, but ofcourse i have no idea who I'll meet

Reply 4

BefuddledPenguin

I suffered from anthropophobia, clinical depression and social anxiety disorder before I went to Uni. My Uni (University of Hull's Scarborough Campus) gave me the option to move in with particular types of people. I selected 'quiet' people and found myself in a house with lovely, sweet people from a variety of backgrounds. Aside from the initial awkwardness of our first night out(not drinking, we went to the beach-front arcade) I quickly found that these people were very easy to talk to. I graduated last July, and have for the most part dealt with most of my conditions.

I'm still an introvert of course, and find being around people too long a bit tiring, but I'm far better than I was.

Reply 5

Carnationlilyrose

Original post by Spokesss

It's something you can fix with medical help or therapy, and I'd suggest looking into that, because otherwise you are going to have this problem all your life when you don't need to.

Reply 6

Spokesss

I know I do :/ I kinda have a lot of issues in my head no one knows about. Every time I've brought up this issue online everyone has said to see a therapist but in my family that's just not something we do. My whole family's kind of ****ed up in one way each, physically or mentally, like my mum is a depressed insomniac and my sister is a self absorbed psycho (etc) and I live with those two, I cant really explain it, but it's like why should I get help out of everyone since we all really need help, and my mum is exhausted from constant work so couldn't deal with more issues, let alone the cost of the sessions, we don't have a lot of money. There's kind of a mentality where if something is doing decently then leave it, let them work it out themselves, also my mum knows I wallow in my sadness when I get really down, so if I was to go to therapy that might just be encouraging self pity which I sort of understand.

Reply 7

Spokesss

Original post by BefuddledPenguin

I had no idea that was a thing, is it only brought up if youve been diagnosed by doctors or did you request?
I secretly suffer with anxiety, dissasociation and im avoidant, ive never heard of anthropophobia before?

Reply 8

BefuddledPenguin

Original post by Spokesss

It was a self diagnosis, but phobias cause a variety of symptoms, many of which I suffered when I came into contact with people. My social anxiety disorder and clinical depression were diagnosed by my GP. I didn't take any medication for either though, I was forced to go to this community centre thing, which involved being surrounded by people who were just like me. I forced myself to pretend to be all better just so that I would never have to attend such a meeting again, and that's ultimately what helped me get over it. I suppose you could describe it as self-imposed cognitive behavioural therapy.

Reply 9

Kvothe the Arcane

Original post by Carnationlilyrose

It's something you can fix with medical help or therapy, and I'd suggest looking into that, because otherwise you are going to have this problem all your life when you don't need to.

I second this. I'm still not a "people person" and certainly prefer my own company to most but I'm now able to tolerate social situations again and deal with some anxiety issues after getting some therapy. I think it's important to remember that MH issues are problems and not identities and the best way to deal with problems is with some help.