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What Should I Do Now (I NEED HELP D:)

Hey everyone,

Firstly thank you very much for jumping into this seemingly boring post by a seemingly desperate guy who has just been dumped by his boyfriend (yes this is a gay post and it is not short, so please be prepared to read long :') ).

So the whole story wasn't so sophisticated and it seems actually really simple, or possibly can be described as naive.

I met him on a dating website (okay most of you would say this is not a good place, yet I felt hopeless finding one in real life cuz I am Asian I just don't know why) and we met coincidently. He initiated talk with me and we soon began conversing frequently online, but through voice message as he suggested this would be better to know each other's voice (and he was the only one who did this and I love it).

For the following few days we started chatting more intimately (but still online) and we felt very comfortable chatting and found each other "so cute". Probably what I need to mention here is that from the very beginning to this stage, there were only three days. (I know this was FAST)

Later we started snapchatting and he found my fb and instagram smartly, which I did not expect at all. I felt he could be trustworthy (and later I realise I was probably wrong now) as other guys never went on that fast to try to connect with me from every possible social network.

He said he wanted to meet with me, and further he also said he wanted to come to my home. I hesitated, and said probably no. At this point, it was still just the 4th day from the very beginning.

After considering for one day, as he was so seemingly trustworthy, I could accept him coming to my home on Saturday and at the moment I knew what was going to happen. And indeed, after meeting him in the afternoon and having dinner in a cafe fulfilled the aura of romance; he said I should be his boyfriend, as I accepted cuz I knew I fell in love with him. I brought him to my place. And it was so fascinating.

On the next day we sat together at my home and we were really in that romantic mood. It was not like meeting someone for sex but I knew that was in some sort of romance. Before he left, we kissed for so long that neither of us wanted to stop.

Things worked on so well after he left for three days. We were whatsapping and snapchatting just like lovers and the language was so melting. We continued to cultivate this quite unbelievably fast relationship.

However, soon he started to ignore my msg and did not reply that frequently. I realised something happened to him. He started to make up a lot of excuses in order to avoid my msg.

And two days ago, when I asked whether if he had time to meet me again just for a dinner, he refused. He later told me the reason why he didn't want to come - he thought I did not suit him so well as he wanted to find someone who is older than him, and I am two months younger; also, he felt we went into love too fast. I wrote a letter telling him that I could be the one that he was seeking. But it didn't work.

And it ended, tragically. I tried to tell him that I love him but didn't work at all. But soon he told me that we could still befriend; I said okay, however, I cannot control my desperate feeling towards this totally unexpected break-up. I was thinking, it was he who initially wanted to start the relationship, yet he ended by saying going too fast. I totally don't understand, yet I can do nothing.

He continued texting me, although not frequently, texting me stuff that do not relate to emotion as if we were talking like normal friends; however, I just can't stop my loving mind towards him. Later I started to try finding someone who I can talk to by browsing online just like the way I found him. But it didn't work, and I could not earn back that kind of feeling. I somehow feel that he is eventually the right one, yet it didn't endure at all even though I put in so much effort to cultivate (much much more than others before).

Overall, that was just within right two weeks - accurately and precisely. And I feel it much much more hurtful than breaking up with someone else who I loved for half a year before.

And now, what i am thinking is, what should I do to blow away the desperate mood on my mind and also try to earn him back...? I really want someone to give me suggestions... I searched online but I ended up with most answers of "starting a no-contact period". But he said he wanted to still be a friend with me; if I start being in no contact with him, will I just lose any connections with him and even lose him forever? Is there any possibility to earn ex back without forcing myself into the no-contact period?

Please... help... D: I feel so dumped..

I am already so much appreciated that you can finish reading this post until here. I would be more appreciated if you can really give me some good advice.