Year 12s: what will be the first way you research your future options? >>

What to do about my colleague

Hi
So I have worked part time in this place for nearly a year now but the time has come for me to leave, this Sunday in fact is my last day. I am very chatty at work, I am not fraud to talk to the guys but I know I can come across as flirty. This is my natural style of talking, I am bubbly and this can sometimes be interpreted as flirty with certain people. Most of the guys have girlfriends anyway so they respond to my friendliness but I don't get any vibes that they reciprocate the flirty behaviour. When I say I am flirty, I literally always say hello and smile and I think my facial expressions and tone of voice are naturally that way inclined. It is by no means intentional, it's just the way I am. I feel that if I acted any differently I would one across as rude. Also none of the other female staff act in the way I do which makes my behaviour stand out even more. Anyway, there is this other colleague who I often see when I go to the other side of the office for photocopying etc. I make frequent visits because my job demands it and he usually starts a conversation. The other colleagues are in ear shot. The conversations for the duration of my time working there have been nothing inappropriate, just pure banter, sometimes a bit flirty ie he makes suggestions that I am his favourite female member of staff and we often laugh. He has quite a sarcastic sense of humour which I tease him about but as I said before I am not interested in him in a way that is more than a colleague. We don't really socialise as a team outside of work really and I don't know a lot about my said colleague - he keeps himself to himself in terms of his private life. He knows I am soon to leave, as do the others and the other day one of our other colleagues who works near where this guy who I often talk to works ie he hears our conversations. He called me over when we were alone and asked me if anything was going on between myself and this other colleague. I said no and laughed it off, explaining that I am just being friendly. He suggested that my colleague would like me to ask him out for a drink. He didn't say they had been talking about me but it was extremely obvious because at the end he said "hey remember this conversation never happened". So he hinted that this guy wanted me to ask him out and not only that, but my manager and assistant manager also said the same thing to me the next day. I feel so trapped because I don't like this guy in that way. Absolutely not. I told my colleagues this and they said "what's the harm in going for a drink and getting to know him". Firstly, I would never do that because it would be so awkward. He isn't easy to make conversation with most of the time and I would hate it. Secondly, that would be leading him on and past experiences have taught me never go on a "date" with someone you aren't interested in pursuing. I don't know what to do because it's my last day soon and I know this guy will either ask for my number or ask me out. I don't want either of those things. What should I do? Should I try and talk to him in my lunch break and explain that I hope he hasn't got the wrong idea - I will say this before he has the opportunity to ask me anything but I know from other colleagues and his behaviour towards me that he is definitely interested in me. That way I can nip it in the bud and we can have a private conversation. Because I am worried that other people may be in earshot and just as I am about to leave won't be a good time to explain anything to him. Or should I just ignore it, act like its a normal day and then when the times comes where I say goodbye, wait and see if he asks me anything like can he have my number? The reason I am reluctant to do this is because I will be declining him in front of others. Thinking about it though, taking his number or him taking mine may not be so bad as I don't have to pursue anything even if this happens. Just some advice please because I feel a bit trapped. I should have told him when I first saw signs he was interested in me but I think I was just in denial. Having my colleagues confront me about "what's going on between you and..." Just made me wake up and realise I hope he doesn't have hopes of anything happening. Any help is appreciated.

Reply 1

Harvey Dent

It's considered good etiquette to provide a 'tldr' for those of us with more important things to do than trawl through this unassailable wall of text.

Reply 2

aamirac

Paragraphs please, my eyes can't handle that chunk of text.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Original post by Harvey Dent

It's considered good etiquette to provide a 'tldr' for those of us with more important things to do than trawl through this unassailable wall of text.