Going home every mid-week in fear of loneliness
I'm A first year uni student. The only thing i enjoy in uni is freedom and having no parents to bully me.
Sadly since freshers period ended, i've realise i have no friends and that everyone was fake and was only coming to me if i was drunk. Hence night outs no longer happen.
I'm ashamed of this and despite i have tried my best, I can't see any reasons to go further.
Basically the plan is to go home every thursday and come back to uni on Monday lectures. Do you think this is a good idea. I have depression to notebut luckily drinking vodka is helping it which is good.
Sadly since freshers period ended, i've realise i have no friends and that everyone was fake and was only coming to me if i was drunk. Hence night outs no longer happen.
I'm ashamed of this and despite i have tried my best, I can't see any reasons to go further.
Basically the plan is to go home every thursday and come back to uni on Monday lectures. Do you think this is a good idea. I have depression to notebut luckily drinking vodka is helping it which is good.
Any help please. This is urgent as i'm planning to discuss this with my family
I went home every weekend and Tuesday night when at uni (in 2000) as I felt myself sliding into depression (long story, read the full version in a thread I started in December 2014.)
While at the time it felt like it helped, now, my advice would actually be NO! At the age of 35 (and weirdly I have repressed this until last year) I strongly regret not trying harder socially.
Are you male or female? Men (like me) do seem to be more at risk of social isolation. However, I would strongly urge you to keep trying! You have to take the initiative as well, don't expect others to always take the initiative and invite you out. And as much as it is easier said than done, try floors below/above if your own floor is unsociable or cliqued off. The fact that I got invited to a drinking game night by a girl on the floor after I had pretty much locked myself in my room for 5 months proves that it is never too late. Try societies. Maybe a small part time job at the weekend to extend your possible social circle beyond just the uni?
PS the depression.......it can be very Catch 22 - without friends/company it is easy to slide into it but hard to get friends if you are depressed! For me it was white lightning lol!
Which uni/area of UK is it if you don't mind me asking?
While at the time it felt like it helped, now, my advice would actually be NO! At the age of 35 (and weirdly I have repressed this until last year) I strongly regret not trying harder socially.
Are you male or female? Men (like me) do seem to be more at risk of social isolation. However, I would strongly urge you to keep trying! You have to take the initiative as well, don't expect others to always take the initiative and invite you out. And as much as it is easier said than done, try floors below/above if your own floor is unsociable or cliqued off. The fact that I got invited to a drinking game night by a girl on the floor after I had pretty much locked myself in my room for 5 months proves that it is never too late. Try societies. Maybe a small part time job at the weekend to extend your possible social circle beyond just the uni?
PS the depression.......it can be very Catch 22 - without friends/company it is easy to slide into it but hard to get friends if you are depressed! For me it was white lightning lol!
Which uni/area of UK is it if you don't mind me asking?
Original post by Wimbs
I went home every weekend and Tuesday night when at uni (in 2000) as I felt myself sliding into depression (long story, read the full version in a thread I started in December 2014.)
While at the time it felt like it helped, now, my advice would actually be NO! At the age of 35 (and weirdly I have repressed this until last year) I strongly regret not trying harder socially.
Are you male or female? Men (like me) do seem to be more at risk of social isolation. However, I would strongly urge you to keep trying! You have to take the initiative as well, don't expect others to always take the initiative and invite you out. And as much as it is easier said than done, try floors below/above if your own floor is unsociable or cliqued off. The fact that I got invited to a drinking game night by a girl on the floor after I had pretty much locked myself in my room for 5 months proves that it is never too late. Try societies. Maybe a small part time job at the weekend to extend your possible social circle beyond just the uni?
PS the depression.......it can be very Catch 22 - without friends/company it is easy to slide into it but hard to get friends if you are depressed! For me it was white lightning lol!
Which uni/area of UK is it if you don't mind me asking?
While at the time it felt like it helped, now, my advice would actually be NO! At the age of 35 (and weirdly I have repressed this until last year) I strongly regret not trying harder socially.
Are you male or female? Men (like me) do seem to be more at risk of social isolation. However, I would strongly urge you to keep trying! You have to take the initiative as well, don't expect others to always take the initiative and invite you out. And as much as it is easier said than done, try floors below/above if your own floor is unsociable or cliqued off. The fact that I got invited to a drinking game night by a girl on the floor after I had pretty much locked myself in my room for 5 months proves that it is never too late. Try societies. Maybe a small part time job at the weekend to extend your possible social circle beyond just the uni?
PS the depression.......it can be very Catch 22 - without friends/company it is easy to slide into it but hard to get friends if you are depressed! For me it was white lightning lol!
Which uni/area of UK is it if you don't mind me asking?
I'm a guy and i go to a 'midlands' university.
I don't want people to see me as a loner. I thought my flatmates were my friends - instead i'm slowly getting ignored by them.
I don't want to continue the same mess i did at school so this is probably the best coping mechanism. The Societies has not be successful either. I'm doing every thing i can to AVOID dropping out so this is a last attempt.
Original post by Wimbs
Which one if you don't mind me asking? Ill have a drink with you if you're in Brum lol!
I'm in Northampton.
Good uni, but can not be good if you suffer from depression.
You could always try antidepressants. And feel no shame about asking the GP for them. You would take painkillers for pain so people should feel no different about taking tablets for depression. You can still drink with most of them (technically you shouldn't drink too much but it won't kill you.) Although of course they work better the less you drink as alcohol is a depressant! You actually need to drink much less when taking them anyway, you feel content enough at a far lower alcohol amount (which can save a lot of money!)
The danger with going home at weekends is that in a way it is tantamount to giving up on your social life hopes at uni. Although I well understand the feeling of needing to - to 'escape' the depression. However, in reality the depression can follow you home and you end up wondering what you could be missing out on!
It takes bravery but you could always do things alone, I ended up exploring large parts of Birmingham's canal network in the evening just to escape Halls and have something to do, with a few cans of lager in hand!!!
Long term, if you are too far away to realistically commute, if it doesn't look like you will get a house with people, you could apply to Halls again and 'have another go' if the Uni will take second years in Halls (you could even ask to be placed with 1st years, honestly, they wont care if you are not 1st year, at my frist uni which I dropped out of (long story) I started in a house of mainly mature students with a 3rd year who I got on well with!
The danger with going home at weekends is that in a way it is tantamount to giving up on your social life hopes at uni. Although I well understand the feeling of needing to - to 'escape' the depression. However, in reality the depression can follow you home and you end up wondering what you could be missing out on!
It takes bravery but you could always do things alone, I ended up exploring large parts of Birmingham's canal network in the evening just to escape Halls and have something to do, with a few cans of lager in hand!!!
Long term, if you are too far away to realistically commute, if it doesn't look like you will get a house with people, you could apply to Halls again and 'have another go' if the Uni will take second years in Halls (you could even ask to be placed with 1st years, honestly, they wont care if you are not 1st year, at my frist uni which I dropped out of (long story) I started in a house of mainly mature students with a 3rd year who I got on well with!
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