Moral dilemma! Is she going to hate me?!!

TLDR; Basically, this guy my friend really likes (and dated for a short period of time) is flirting heavily with me and I don't know what I should do? I don't know how to stop him politely??

There's this lovely girl in my year that has had a thing with this boy for ages- she really liked him (and still does!) and I used to always console her and chat about their relationship 'troubles' and her 'thirst' (lol) with her on the coach home (this is like over a year ago) - her and I are still good friends- we rarely see eachother but we still talk on the coach.

Basically, I just found out the two of them started dating after exams and just called it off- I only found out they had been dating after they broke up lol. They never really acted coupley at school (this is why they broke up) and I didn't realise they were a thing- I thought he ended it completely with her last year.

He's always been so lovely towards me and I've slowly started to think of him as a good friend... but he's suddenly been messaging me on Whatsapp... he got my number from our Maths class group chat and he's been flirting so heavily with me (and asking so many questions!!). I didn't know what to do. I couldn't ignore his questions as he's in all my lessons and it would be awkward if I refused to tell him what the homework was (which he's not the type to forget)- and he's quite popular so could easily alienate me (though he's defintely not like that), so I've been replying. But because he's literally full on flirting with me, I've scrolled through the conversation and it could look like I'm playing along and flirting back if someone wanted it to look that way.

Everyone in sixth form would think I'm an absolute back-stabbing b!tch if they read the messages and it's giving me anxiety- even though I tried to stop the conversation multiple times, he keeps continuing it? I don't know what to do.. I'm awkward enough as it is and if I were to bring up the fact that I felt uncomfortable and 'wasn't interested' because she's my friend (and she's basically still hung up over him), he'd probably act like he wasn't flirting with me in the first place. I'm also not the type to say something like that until it was completely necessary - like if he asked me out on a date or tried to kiss me.

The worst part is, over the past year, before the summer and they began to date, I started to find him quite attractive and funny so.. this is making it a bit harder.

With regards to the messages: If nobody sees/hears about it, then it never happened. I wouldn't lose sleep over that.

Why would she hate you if you got with him? Him and her = ancient history. You're both single now...

That is definitely not how it works. She'll hate her if she still has feelings for the guy and they didnt break up on good terms. Unless she is completely cool with it which is pretty unlikely.

Well that'd be her problem, not the OP's, so it would make no sense to blame the latter for it.

The fact that she could have those "reasons" for hating her is quite worrying, though. Why are girls incapable of thinking rationally?

TLDR; Basically, this guy my friend really likes (and dated for a short period of time) is flirting heavily with me and I don't know what I should do? I don't know how to stop him politely??

There's this lovely girl in my year that has had a thing with this boy for ages- she really liked him (and still does!) and I used to always console her and chat about their relationship 'troubles' and her 'thirst' (lol) with her on the coach home (this is like over a year ago) - her and I are still good friends- we rarely see eachother but we still talk on the coach.

Basically, I just found out the two of them started dating after exams and just called it off- I only found out they had been dating after they broke up lol. They never really acted coupley at school (this is why they broke up) and I didn't realise they were a thing- I thought he ended it completely with her last year.

He's always been so lovely towards me and I've slowly started to think of him as a good friend... but he's suddenly been messaging me on Whatsapp... he got my number from our Maths class group chat and he's been flirting so heavily with me (and asking so many questions!!). I didn't know what to do. I couldn't ignore his questions as he's in all my lessons and it would be awkward if I refused to tell him what the homework was (which he's not the type to forget)- and he's quite popular so could easily alienate me (though he's defintely not like that), so I've been replying. But because he's literally full on flirting with me, I've scrolled through the conversation and it could look like I'm playing along and flirting back if someone wanted it to look that way.

Everyone in sixth form would think I'm an absolute back-stabbing b!tch if they read the messages and it's giving me anxiety- even though I tried to stop the conversation multiple times, he keeps continuing it? I don't know what to do.. I'm awkward enough as it is and if I were to bring up the fact that I felt uncomfortable and 'wasn't interested' because she's my friend (and she's basically still hung up over him), he'd probably act like he wasn't flirting with me in the first place. I'm also not the type to say something like that until it was completely necessary - like if he asked me out on a date or tried to kiss me.

The worst part is, over the past year, before the summer and they began to date, I started to find him quite attractive and funny so.. this is making it a bit harder.

That is definitely not how it works. She'll hate her if she still has feelings for the guy and they didnt break up on good terms. Unless she is completely cool with it which is pretty unlikely.

With regards to the messages: If nobody sees/hears about it, then it never happened. I wouldn't lose sleep over that.

Why would she hate you if you got with him? Him and her = ancient history. You're both single now...

Well that'd be her problem, not the OP's, so it would make no sense to blame the latter for it.

The fact that she could have those "reasons" for hating her is quite worrying, though. Why are girls incapable of thinking rationally?

I think its cause the lad ended it and the friend must have alot of feelings there still although if op only talks to her on the coach it isnt that good a friend


Personally youre both single, no harm in flirting in my opinion, then again ive been told before that my judgement on these sorts of matters (friends with ex's) isnt the norm so who knows

She is a good friend- I've known her for ages, but she isn't in a single one of my classes anymore, whereas I share all my classes with this boy. So I want to stay on good terms with both of them. She definitely still has feelings for him.

Maybe you could just say to the guy, "I like you as a friend but if we take it any further Girlname will hate me and I don't want that" or something along those lines. Honesty and openness are usually the best policy.

I wouldn't worry about the text messages. If, as you said, he could claim he wasn't flirting in the first place w/ you (via text message) then you can claim the same but I doubt it would ever come to that.

Why don't you just wait and see what happens. He may ask you out but that might not happen as well. No need stressing about it at this point. Right now you're just on friendly terms w/ a guy who's in all your classes. Easily explainable. If he asks you out then you have to be honest and say that you are flattered but you are good friends with his ex and you don't want to upset her and don't want to be hated around the school. Ask him to please understand your predicament. If he's really interested in you then he'll understand and perhaps even talk to her - he'll certainly make sure the people he's friends with won't hate on you.

It's her loss if she can't do anything about it.

You'll make new friends and life's too short for compromises. Just get in there if you want to.

Well that'd be her problem, not the OP's, so it would make no sense to blame the latter for it.

The fact that she could have those "reasons" for hating her is quite worrying, though. Why are girls incapable of thinking rationally?

Brutal! haha, okay. Though I think I might leave it for now because this year is serious for me. He doesn't really know me well enough to like me that seriously anyway so I hope things just go back to normal.