Still really struggling to move on

Hey

I was broken up with around 13 weeks ago after 2.5 years.

I'm find it very very tough. I love and always have. We don't talk and she has removed from all parts of her life.

I'm keeping busy with work and a hobbies.

Nothing has made it gone away, not even a little bit.

Block her from all social media.
Delete her number

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Yeah it is really difficult sometimes there's nothing to fall back on when someone's played such a big part in your life for a while. You have to start building in elements of what that relationship gave you by actively seeking the support. Like do you have a pet? Cuddle and stroke them when you feel lonely. Do you have friends? Spend as much time with them as possible. And hobbies and activities, chose the ones you know you're good at to build you up. When you're upset let yourself be don't force yourself to get over it, talk to people! I know often it's a bit more difficult for guys when it comes to expressing emotions but maybe you might feel more comfortable with chatting to another female friend or a sister or family member alternatively if you're at uni the counselling service or through your GP or private counselling? If things get really bad you can call certain lines like Samaritans for a chat. Most of all a good waffle on here always helps

You'll get through it, you're doing really well

Did that all but kept her on facebook, but she has hidden everything so I'm not seeing much anyway. She hasn't got another partner.



Afraid I don't have a pet I do have friends, but I feel that it is now coming to the point where the majority of them are 'bored' of it. My best friends will always listen but I don't want to keep telling them about why I don't understand it happened, why did I not get a reason for the break up etc... No one can really understand why it happened as they saw us as the solid couple. Unfortunately I've moved away from the majority of my friends so I can't see them. I have had counselling straight after but I am tempted to go back as it's not subsided at all. A good moan does help, but I've now realised that no matter how much you love someone you can't force them to do the same even after so long.

I would just really like some closure...

So did she just break up with you out of the blue? Is that what you mean by I just want closure?

Yeah sounds like you should go back for counselling . You're right you don't won't to feel conscious of burdening your friends that won't help you that's just an added stress.

Near enough, we went travelling separately. Before we left was fine, first 2 months were fine (a skype argument and a text argument - I said some silly things) then she ghosted me. Broke up with me the day I came back and said she wasn't in love. I've apologised for the arguments (I caused them) a few weeks after the break up (because I felt bad about them and would have apologised anyway - I apologised because I regretted causing the argument rather than trying to win her back), said I had nothing to be sorry about and that I did nothing wrong. That's the last I heard from her.

Well counselling didn't really help, she said people change, feelings change, you never know what will happen, she did this for her and you didn't do anything wrong. I am a little better, I haven't cried about if for about 8 weeks, but I still think about her everyday and hope she will change her mind but I know in my gut it won't happen.

I think because my best friend is getting married to a girl that broke up with him for a year is clouding my judgement. But I just remember all the plans we had, a house together, travelling, a cat and all the grown up stuff :P I feel like a kite in a hurricane and I don't like it.

That does sound like a pretty difficult break up on your part.

You say that the counselling wasn't that helpful but like you say just being able to talk about it is good without feeling like the person is fed up with hearing you talk about the same thing (like you described your friends).

Yeah I guess that probably would make you wonder but it's clear that she's made her mind up so I don't think you should cling on to the hope based on your friends situation.

I know it's difficult but like I said try to build in the stuff into your life so you're supported and not just feeling lost and alone.

I honestly know how exactly how you feel... It just takes time but you're doing everything you can to distract yourself. Eventually things will get better <3

Hey

I was broken up with around 13 weeks ago after 2.5 years.

I'm find it very very tough. I love and always have. We don't talk and she has removed from all parts of her life.

I'm keeping busy with work and a hobbies.

Nothing has made it gone away, not even a little bit.

'nothing has made it gone away' no wonder she broke up with you, you can't even grasp the concept of basic English

I understand that it's hard to move on. Some people might say that you never really "move on" in that you always remember that you felt hurt by the breakup. All I can say is that it will probably hurt for many more months, and it will keep on hurting until one day you realise that it doesn't. Took me over a year to get to the point that I wasn't upset about my last rejection; I still do think about the guy now, but I don't usually feel sad now, unless I'm drunk and lonely at night haha.

It's okay to feel how you feel, so long as you don't let it affect your life too badly. Unfortunately I feel like the relationship I had with my rejector has made it very difficult for me to feel a similar way about someone else, which is a little sad considering it's nearly 2 years since I even spoke to him! Don't let yourself fall into the same trap.

I'm quite confident that I will get over this. I was planning to ask her to marry me in a few years, maybe that's why - she never expressed a strong opinion on the subject really, in fact she was hesitant about moving in together (we've been ldr for around 2 years - and now finally live near each other), oh well, I suppose you never really know anyone. But was planning other long term things :/ I just thought after 3 months I'd be a little further along the road to recovery.

She said she was happy and content but wasn't in love. It was destroying to read those words after the break up. *Grumble*

Ah I know how it is! In October last year, I got out of a four year relationship lmao. I also thought I'd spend my life with him - things just don't go as planned sometimes. And 3 months is honestly still early days, give it a while longer!

And yeah, I get that. That must've hurt. But to be honest, I know everyone says this and it's nearly impossible to believe... but you will find someone better! Someone that does really love you