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Mother had four abortions

I was looking at my medical record from whej I was a baby and it had some details about my mother in there...including what's in the title

It raises a lot of questions in me and makes me feel incredibly uncomfortable and almost betrayed.

Any input would be appreciated

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I don't know whether you are in contact with your mother, but unless you speak to her about it, you're inevitably going to wonder about all of those circumstances. It's an intensely private subject, and in reality, she doesn't owe you any answers. Your relationship will change if you even let her know that you know, so tread carefully.
Are you upset because you yourself was aborted?
Reply 3
It's not really your business. Also, are you sure they were actual abortions? Miscarriages used to be called "spontaneous abortions" in medical notes, so be very careful before accusing her of anything.

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Reply 4
If your mother was comfortable about approaching the subject then she would've told you herself. Be very careful if you choose to approach it (though I am not sure why you feel the need to do so).

I'm also confused as to why you feel betrayed. It's your mother's decision what she does and doesn't tell you about things that do not impact you at all. It's a bit pathetic to act betrayed, if you ask me.
Reply 5
Original post by DrSocSciences
It's an intensely private subject.


This OP, and you won't know whatever things she went through during those periods of her life.
Whats wrong with having an abortion? Maybe if she hadn't then you would not have been born.
Reply 7
If they were miscarriages-then fair enough. Or due to rape,etc

If they're actual abortions then as harsh as this may sound your mother doesn't deserve to have any kids. I would have understood one. Two maybe. But four is pushing it. Your mother needs to learn to spread something besides her legs.

Ask her
(edited 8 years ago)
Reply 8
Original post by $$$$$$
Your mother needs to learn to spread something besides her legs.


Being pregnant 4+ times doesn't nessassarily make you a leg spreader, btw very rude to OP
Original post by Anonymous
I was looking at my medical record from whej I was a baby and it had some details about my mother in there...including what's in the title

It raises a lot of questions in me and makes me feel incredibly uncomfortable and almost betrayed.

Any input would be appreciated


It is none of your business.
Original post by kka25
This OP, and you won't know whatever things she went through during those periods of her life.


Thats a bit dramatic. Lots of people are just careless with protection and end up having a few abortions. My mom had one after I was born and my aunt had 5 after she had already had two daughters (both daughters and all abortions happened with the same and only husband).
Original post by driftawaay
It is none of your business.


I disagree with this. I am her son, and I came from the same womb from which she expelled four other growing humans. That raises a lot of valid questions and concerns and understandably make she feel uncomfortable. She would have loved those four children as she loves me, which makes me realise that she could also have disposed of me without issue.
Reply 12
Original post by driftawaay
Thats a bit dramatic. Lots of people are just careless with protection and end up having a few abortions. My mom had one after I was born and my aunt had 5 after she had already had two daughters (both daughters and all abortions happened with the same and only husband).


I was referring to the OP not knowing their parent's situation, whatever it is, not a specific situation that you have imposed here.
Reply 13
Original post by Anonymous
I disagree with this. I am her son, and I came from the same womb from which she expelled four other growing humans. That raises a lot of valid questions and concerns and understandably make she feel uncomfortable. She would have loved those four children as she loves me, which makes me realise that she could also have disposed of me without issue.


I'm sure you feel strongly about this topic, but shouldn't you consider her feelings about it as well?
All these fools saying it isn't your business n ****. Ignore them.

And your mum. Be polite and reserved, but confront her. It'll gnaw at you if you don't. But seriously. Ask her.

One thing to note. Has she treated you well? Has she been a good mum? Keep those things in mind.

But ask.
Original post by kka25
I'm sure you feel strongly about this topic, but shouldn't you consider her feelings about it as well?


To be quite honest (unless she was raped four times etc., which is unlikely) I think it demonstrates a great deal of carelessness, lack of self-respect and lack of respect for human life.

I am pro-choice, mainly on practical grounds, but I do believe that foetuses are entitled to some basic respect as budding humans and it disgusts me that someone could carelessly open their legs without protection and dispose of the offspring like a bit of litter four times I think it's disgusting and it hints at deeper personal vices and issues

I have no intention of talking to my mother about this.
Original post by donutellme
All these fools saying it isn't your business n ****. Ignore them.

And your mum. Be polite and reserved, but confront her. It'll gnaw at you if you don't. But seriously. Ask her.

One thing to note. Has she treated you well? Has she been a good mum? Keep those things in mind.

But ask.


In terms of giving me opportunities and supporting me financially she has been exceptional.

In terms of physical, emotional and psychological treatment on a personal level she has been abhorrent.

I want to but I also don't...I'll have to think it over
Reply 17
Original post by Anonymous
To be quite honest (unless she was raped four times etc., which is unlikely) I think it demonstrates a great deal of carelessness, lack of self-respect and lack of respect for human life.

I am pro-choice, mainly on practical grounds, but I do believe that foetuses are entitled to some basic respect as budding humans and it disgusts me that someone could carelessly open their legs without protection and dispose of the offspring like a bit of litter four times I think it's disgusting and it hints at deeper personal vices and issues

I have no intention of talking to my mother about this.


Hold on there OP.

You really don't know her circumstances really (since you didn't and don't want to ask), so in a way, it's not really something you should judge so harshly.
Original post by Anonymous
I disagree with this. I am her son, and I came from the same womb from which she expelled four other growing humans. That raises a lot of valid questions and concerns and understandably make she feel uncomfortable. She would have loved those four children as she loves me, which makes me realise that she could also have disposed of me without issue.


But she didn't, and you have no idea what her reasons were for the other terminations (if that is actually what they were, not miscarriages). You aren't in a position to know what she should or shouldn't have felt or done.
Original post by Helenia
But she didn't, and you have no idea what her reasons were for the other terminations (if that is actually what they were, not miscarriages). You aren't in a position to know what she should or shouldn't have felt or done.


I'm not making non-qualified judgements, merely thinking aloud anonymously. If x was the reason then I won't judge, but if y was then I can't help feeling bad about it

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