No friends after finishing uni, so lonely

Ill be your friend

I smell whore.

I'm 24 years old and i feel completely lost and alone.

I don’t have any friends where I live, nobody bothered to keep in touch after uni. My only friend lives the other side of the country. My entire social life is texting her and I feel so inferior, like I’m not good enough to talk to her.

I see everyone else with lots of friends and a relationship and I feel like a complete failure. I hate myself so much, I look disgusting and there’s nothing I’m good at. I’ve never been on a date and there’s more chance of me winning the lottery than ever getting a girlfriend. My friend suggested I looked at online dating but I look so disgusting no girl would be seen dead with me.

I’m lucky enough to have a 30k job, but as I live alone I haven’t spoken to another person outside of work since August. FOUR MONTHS ago. I dread weekends so much, knowing I’ll be stuck on my own with nothing to do whilst everyone else is having fun. I'm desperate to make friends, meet a girl to settle down with and have a normal life but it feels like that'll never happen

I just don't know what to do anymore. I’m incredibly anxious and have no confidence, so making friends and meeting people has always been hard for me. I’ve always lent on other people, now I’m on my own I don’t know what to do. I can’t join a club as I work long hours, plus I’d be too shy to go on my own. I don't have any friends at work either.

I feel so lonely and isolated and that my life is pointless. All I do is go to work or sit in my bed at home, is this going to be my life for the next 40-50 years? Is it really worth me bothering anymore?

Too often kindness is associated with flirting/beings whore. Maybe I'm a lesbian or asexual.

I smell ignorant *******.

For sure sweetie. 😘

Knew it. A slight sniff of a lonely guy earning more than 30k and the gold-diggers come out in force. Shame on you.

I'm 24 years old and i feel completely lost and alone.

I don’t have any friends where I live, nobody bothered to keep in touch after uni. My only friend lives the other side of the country. My entire social life is texting her and I feel so inferior, like I’m not good enough to talk to her.

I see everyone else with lots of friends and a relationship and I feel like a complete failure. I hate myself so much, I look disgusting and there’s nothing I’m good at. I’ve never been on a date and there’s more chance of me winning the lottery than ever getting a girlfriend. My friend suggested I looked at online dating but I look so disgusting no girl would be seen dead with me.

I’m lucky enough to have a 30k job, but as I live alone I haven’t spoken to another person outside of work since August. FOUR MONTHS ago. I dread weekends so much, knowing I’ll be stuck on my own with nothing to do whilst everyone else is having fun. I'm desperate to make friends, meet a girl to settle down with and have a normal life but it feels like that'll never happen

I just don't know what to do anymore. I’m incredibly anxious and have no confidence, so making friends and meeting people has always been hard for me. I’ve always lent on other people, now I’m on my own I don’t know what to do. I can’t join a club as I work long hours, plus I’d be too shy to go on my own. I don't have any friends at work either.

I feel so lonely and isolated and that my life is pointless. All I do is go to work or sit in my bed at home, is this going to be my life for the next 40-50 years? Is it really worth me bothering anymore?

HI Anon,

Just want to say that I am honestly, so sorry that you're feeling like this. There is so much in the world to be enjoyed with friends but you must also remember that there is so much more that can be enjoyed by yourself! How beautiful is a winter morning? How lovely are pretty houses? How pleasing is the most basic infrastructure - from cobbled streets to sky-scrapers? I think that you're shy because you fear people will reject you and you fear people will reject you because you think they will fail to see the good in you. Learning to see the beauty in other things is necessary for you to believe others will see the beauty in you. I don't need to know you to know that there is some good in you. The things you want are not selfish. Wanting love and friendship is a mark of someone that wants to share love and friendship with others.

You need to understand that love and friendship is not limited to those who have the most confidence or bravado. How about striking up conversation with the person working at the train station or the coffee shop? Going out of your way for the people at work (believe me, "going out of your way" is not as hard as it sounds, after all, how much do you appreciate they person who lends you a pen or makes you a coffee?). I know that you may not have much in common with your workmates but why must good conversation that brightens your day only have to come from people you know well. Some of the best conversations I have in a day will be from a brief encounter with shop assistant or person on the station platform.

We place to much emphasis on the big things. I know that you want a girlfriend and a solid friendship group and a settled life and I have faith that these things WILL come but how can you make sure that when these opportunities do come along you're in the right frame of mind to make the best of them? When you meet people you feel a connection with you want to be in the right frame of mind to accept their love and friendship and give them all the love and friendship that you know you want to be able to.

This isn't hard. Trust me. Please don't read this and think this is something that takes years and years to do. Please talk to people tomorrow. You don't have to talk about anything big. Ask the barista if it's been particularly busy, if your workmate had a good journey to work.

I'm sorry if I'm coming across incredibly matter of fact. I know you're frustrated, I know this is hard. The above is genuinely what I think will make this easier.

Wishing you the best,

Fellow Anon.

I'm 24 years old and i feel completely lost and alone.

I don’t have any friends where I live, nobody bothered to keep in touch after uni. My only friend lives the other side of the country. My entire social life is texting her and I feel so inferior, like I’m not good enough to talk to her.

I see everyone else with lots of friends and a relationship and I feel like a complete failure. I hate myself so much, I look disgusting and there’s nothing I’m good at. I’ve never been on a date and there’s more chance of me winning the lottery than ever getting a girlfriend. My friend suggested I looked at online dating but I look so disgusting no girl would be seen dead with me.

I’m lucky enough to have a 30k job, but as I live alone I haven’t spoken to another person outside of work since August. FOUR MONTHS ago. I dread weekends so much, knowing I’ll be stuck on my own with nothing to do whilst everyone else is having fun. I'm desperate to make friends, meet a girl to settle down with and have a normal life but it feels like that'll never happen

I just don't know what to do anymore. I’m incredibly anxious and have no confidence, so making friends and meeting people has always been hard for me. I’ve always lent on other people, now I’m on my own I don’t know what to do. I can’t join a club as I work long hours, plus I’d be too shy to go on my own. I don't have any friends at work either.

I feel so lonely and isolated and that my life is pointless. All I do is go to work or sit in my bed at home, is this going to be my life for the next 40-50 years? Is it really worth me bothering anymore?

I typed that in caps and it didn't end in caps (

When you're trying not to come across creepy but TSR is against you.

I'll talk to you when you stop using that face tyvm.