Backstory of a female villian

Here is something I've been working on. What do you guys think of it?xx.

Thanks for replying

Sigrid Harald isn't a main villain. I'll have to explain the main story for you to get it:

Axel Johann that is about to go to uni. He's been suffering from amnesia for about 2 years now. He's been looking forward to uni for quite a while now and sees it as a chance to start anew. However, on the day that uni starts, his apartment gets raided by the police and is arrested.

He is arrested because unbeknownst to him, before he lost his memories, he was the heir to the biggest crime syndicate in Europe. And alongside his father, the two ran a whole command chain of crime. Their organisation was involved in 90% of the crime in Europe. Everything from the drugs trade to assassinations.

However Axel has no recollection of these memories, at first he thought it just was a misunderstanding. But as the court case began, Axel saw the solid evidence in front of him. He saw pictures of himself with people he didn't know in places he's never been to. As more evidence was presented to the jury, there were phone recordings, letters, fingerprints, DNA. All of them tying him down to the centre of almost all crime in Europe.

He was looking at life imprisonment, but the way before the jury was to deliver their verdict, Axel gets a plea deal from MI5. Although Axel and his father are not in control of the organisation anymore. The organisation was still active, it just has new leaders now. So the plea deal is that Axel must overcome his amnesia and help MI5 take down the organisation, in return he will walk free.

But Axel isn't just accepting the plea deal for the sake of escaping jail. He wants to find out how he lost his memory and what exactly happened to his father...

------------------------------

And this is where Sigrid comes into play. She is one of the board of directors of KANE. A target for MI5.

So she's one of the crime bosses of Europe, there'll be about 3 in the book I'm planning to write up.

I forgot to mention: Now that his memories have been lost, he's a good guy now. He is no longer that bad person he used to be. But as he starts to regain bits his memories, bits of his former personality start to come back too. So I'm thinking to add like an internal conflict within him. Like as his bad side comes back, he is constantly in a moral battle about things. Or like it gets to the point where he needs to stop recalling information from his past in fear that more of his former self will come back and take over his new-found good personality. I don't know if this makes sense lol, it's just an idea at this point.

Basically it will come to a point where he needs to solve a puzzle. If he doesn't solve it, he'll be breaking his plea deal and will thus go to jail. But to solve the puzzle he needs to acquire a critical piece of information that can probably only be gained by him doing a forced memory recall. But he's at the tipping point. He's recalled so much that his former self and current self are like 50/50 in his head. And if he recalls that one thing, he'll become a bad person. And he doesn't want that to happen, because currently he wholeheartedly regrets everything he's done, after seeing all the evidence in court, his new self is truly full of regret. He doesn't want to return back to his old self and be that bad person again.

So yeah, what do you think of that^^ ? It's an idea at this point, but I don't know whether to include it or not :/ Honestly there's a major unthinkable plot-twist at the end of Book 1 that completely flips everything. And I'm thinking to include this moral dilemma story arc but to put it in like Book 2, when the stakes get even higher.



I can dig Tier 1/2 , there are going be three of them, so it gives me room to make the subsequent crime bosses better. For example, the 2nd crime boss is Afghan. So he'll have this whole back-story of fighting against the Soviets, getting traumatised, declared not fit for service and then coming to Europe so he can have a better life. He's a bit crazy. The 2nd guy, since he's Afghan will also be a bit pissed at Western countries too because of the war in Afghanistan. (Although it maybe a massive stereotype) He may have some links to terrorists. So then to take him down there'll be a joint operation between MI5 and MI6. I'm thinking he'll be like the less crazy version of Vaas form FC3. Muscled and stuff.

I forgot to mention: Now that his memories have been lost, he's a good guy now. He is no longer that bad person he used to be. But as he starts to regain bits his memories, bits of his former personality start to come back too. So I'm thinking to add like an internal conflict within him. Like as his bad side comes back, he is constantly in a moral battle about things. Or like it gets to the point where he needs to stop recalling information from his past in fear that more of his former self will come back and take over his new-found good personality. I don't know if this makes sense lol, it's just an idea at this point.

Basically it will come to a point where he needs to solve a puzzle. If he doesn't solve it, he'll be breaking his plea deal and will thus go to jail. But to solve the puzzle he needs to acquire a critical piece of information that can probably only be gained by him doing a forced memory recall. But he's at the tipping point. He's recalled so much that his former self and current self are like 50/50 in his head. And if he recalls that one thing, he'll become a bad person. And he doesn't want that to happen, because currently he wholeheartedly regrets everything he's done, after seeing all the evidence in court, his new self is truly full of regret. He doesn't want to return back to his old self and be that bad person again.

So yeah, what do you think of that^^ ? It's an idea at this point, but I don't know whether to include it or not :/ Honestly there's a major unthinkable plot-twist at the end of Book 1 that completely flips everything. And I'm thinking to include this moral dilemma story arc but to put it in like Book 2, when the stakes get even higher.

I can dig Tier 1/2 , there are going be three of them, so it gives me room to make the subsequent crime bosses better. For example, the 2nd crime boss is Afghan. So he'll have this whole back-story of fighting against the Soviets, getting traumatised, declared not fit for service and then coming to Europe so he can have a better life. He's a bit crazy. The 2nd guy, since he's Afghan will also be a bit pissed at Western countries too because of the war in Afghanistan. (Although it maybe a massive stereotype) He may have some links to terrorists. So then to take him down there'll be a joint operation between MI5 and MI6. I'm thinking he'll be like the less crazy version of Vaas form FC3. Muscled and stuff.

At the moment she's a bit one-dimensional and cliche - does she have any human connections? Any form of relationship with anyone? Any strengths and weaknesses? What made her the way she is, and what is driving her on? What makes her unique? How does she factor into the life of your protagonist? Will she be the Big Bad in the shadows, or will she be a regular in the story? Does she have any henchmen?

The Afghan villain is another one you can explore in depth, but try to avoid too many cliches in forming his character as well.

Would the major plot twist possibly involve the main character accepting his fate, forcing the memory recall, and becoming a bad person again, which he then remembers is pretty fun, and he embraces it? (With the second book being him as a bad person/anti-hero)? That would be interesting, and would set up a few interesting plot lines.

Firstly, thank you so much for your reply. The answer to your first two questions is Yes. She has a relationship with Eryll. About the other questions... I'll have to basically explain the whole plot on TSR lmao, so that's not gonna work out. I'd much rather write up like a few chapter in the Christmas holidays and send them to you, in you want to read them. But FYI, she's like a short term villain. She'll only take like 1/4 to 1/3 of the book. She's ones of the European crime bosses that Axel and MI5 need to take down. Once they take her down, the story will then move onto the Afghan guy. But the questions were very thought provoking and I cannot thank you enough!!! I won't spoil it much, but she will have A LOT more back-story, motivations and general character development than the other targets. If you have any more questions please post them, they get the cogs in my brain turning


Yeah he will have some depth to him, but not as much as Sigrid for reasons I cannot mention . I'll try not to, but that's kind of the guy I want the 2nd guy to be. That like crazy person that you fight then before he goes away, he says this last piece of genuine wisdom... But I'll try to work around that.


I did say unthinkable plot twist so no, it's not as easy to guess as that! I'm sorry but I cannot say anymore, otherwise I will be revealing spoilers, but what you said gave me an idea
I could hint towards that throughout the story... Like the MI5 agents meet for a lunch break and start discussing what to do if he suddenly embraces his past and stuff. And maybe Axel will have a few of those moments too.
Then that would make the twist even better

- - -
I will be replying to your second paragraph in a separate post

What I've read so far is very appealing, I'd totally read this is it were to become a book. Keep up the good work

I think it's awesome. Tho if I were to put it anywhere (somehow) I would put it at the end as a cliffhanger (because I'm that evil )
And I'm assuming there will be a Book 3 too also

Although remember how you integrate you stories nicely or else it will feel quite rushed (unless thats the pace of the books)
Because too many stories at once can ruin the mood (like a comic I'm currently reading, was cool at the beginning, then came the bombarding of some extremely long, mostly boring flashbacks ever )
But I have faith in ya hombs

This give me, questions like "Wth did the hero do to meet terrorists and mafia?"
Which is good because it gives (espesh me) anticipation.

Sounds kinda Tier 3/4 too. Don't see any vital/long lasting role in mc's life

A few points here: are you sure you want to have all of the crime bosses in the same book? If you want them to have weight and significance, then perhaps you should allow for more time to develop their reputations, their syndicates, and their personalities - what makes them the bad guys? What makes them a challenge for him to overcome? If she is introduced, developed, and defeated in 1/4 of a book, then is she really all that important? One thing you might want to consider is writing about each character separately. Something like a page of A4 that fleshes them out and gives them certain defined characteristics like personality traits, styles of speaking, ticks etc This can help if you want them to be a definite wall to bounce your character off, or if you want them to represent something deeper (for example say the Afghan guy signifies the problems of military intervention or imperialism etc). On the other hand, if you want to develop them as you write the story, then they might develop in mesh with your plot, and they might flow better in the narrative, but then it might leave their actions, words, or personalities open to plot-holes or inconsistencies, and they might seem more like a plot device and less like a real person.

. About the other questions... I'll have to basically explain the whole plot on TSR lmao, so that's not gonna work out. I'd much rather write up like a few chapter in the Christmas holidays and send them to you, in you want to read them.

|| @LeyK @Arkasia ||

Actually I just remembered what I told you Arkasia!



I actually wrote a couple of paragraphs explaining everything, but I want it to be conveyed in a better manner tbh, in the form of a few chapters!
I apologise for the let down, but explaining the whole thing on TSR makes me a bit paranoid tbh!! So I'd feel much better writing out some chapters then putting them on Wattpad or something, so I can have some sort of claim to them!

I'd be totally OK with that, send the chapters over whenever you want

|| @LeyK @Arkasia ||

Actually I just remembered what I told you Arkasia!



I actually wrote a couple of paragraphs explaining everything, but I want it to be conveyed in a better manner tbh, in the form of a few chapters!
I apologise for the let down, but explaining the whole thing on TSR makes me a bit paranoid tbh!! So I'd feel much better writing out some chapters then putting them on Wattpad or something, so I can have some sort of claim to them!

Thank you for understanding!


oh and FYI, I have done that A4 page thingy Because MI5 will be investigating Sigrid, I had to make a mindmap of everything about her, so I could find ways that MI5 could eventually capture her.