Marriage must be a ****ing joke

I've seen so many people who are unhappy with their marriages. I'm expected to marry after a few years but i'm becoming so cynical about the whole thing. Don't get me wrong, i'd love a partner /companion but when i look around all i see is failed marriages. Single mums. A bunch of kids. And no father. And it's scary that tomorrow that could be me.

Why are there so many failed marriages? You see two people who've fallen deeply in love, get married eventually and three or four years down the line they're either divorced. Seperated. Or can't stand the sight of each other. The "spark" has gone. After the honeymoon period, and after the woman has kids it seems everything just goes downhill from there.

There's too much **** that comes along with marriages. It could be that you end up having devil in laws who make your life a living nightmare. Being expected to cook/ clean etc all the time and take care of your "husband" like he's some newborn baby and putting your career/education on standstill. Years of education to get that ideal job thrown out of the window because let's face it. When you have a child you can't have a full time career at the same time. You need to spend time with your children so you end up working part time and eventually you stop working. Because kids are a full time job.

It just seems like stress piled on stress piled on more stress. I might consider having a single life forever. As much as i want a companion. Is it really worth the risk?

Reply 1

I love life

1

Tomorrow that could be you ? ( that's what you said )

So tomorrow you might be a single Mum with a bunch of kids in a failed marriage with no father ?

I doubt it

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Reply 2

We'reAllMadHere

5

This is exactly why I'm never getting married. You hit the nail on the head.

Reply 3

shawn_o1

21

This generation nowadays struggle to balance career with family life, on top of that, they view love as an expenditure rather than any significant impact on their lives. My parents who conceived myself and my sister in the early 90's never had any problems because they planned accordingly (and made their marriage work).

Reply 4

Holydude

8

I did not grow up around any successful marriages, but I will get married to prove it is possible!

Reply 5

BefuddledPenguin

15

I'm not against the idea of marriage as an absolute but I do think the bureaucratic nature of marriage puts undue stress on relationships, as do shared bank accounts and joint investments. The only relationships I've seen that actually work seem to have a great degree of independence by both parties.

Reply 6

Alexion

17

42% of marriages end in divorce.

Sounds like a lot, but that other 58% are living the rest of their lives with the person they love. It may not be for everyone, but to those who really care for each other and are unwavering in their love, it's the greatest thing...

:cube:

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Alexion

42% of marriages end in divorce.

Sounds like a lot, but that other 58% are living the rest of their lives with the person they love. It may not be for everyone, but to those who really care for each other and are unwavering in their love, it's the greatest thing...

:cube:

Some of that 58% may well be together because they're in love and are happy. But some of that 58% would also include people in abusive marriages, people who are only in the marriage for the sake of the children and so on.

You love sick puppy :colonhash:

Reply 8

Alexion

17

Original post by Anonymous

You love sick puppy :colonhash:

Yeah das me :lovehug:

Reply 9

pmprin

10

dont get married then, its not the be all and end all.

Reply 10

chazwomaq

18

Marriage =/= relationship =/= having children.

Three different things.

Plenty of mothers work full time. And plenty enjoy not working full time.

Reply 11

stargirl63

17

Original post by Anonymous

I've seen so many people who are unhappy with their marriages. I'm expected to marry after a few years but i'm becoming so cynical about the whole thing. Don't get me wrong, i'd love a partner /companion but when i look around all i see is failed marriages. Single mums. A bunch of kids. And no father. And it's scary that tomorrow that could be me.

Why are there so many failed marriages? You see two people who've fallen deeply in love, get married eventually and three or four years down the line they're either divorced. Seperated. Or can't stand the sight of each other. The "spark" has gone. After the honeymoon period, and after the woman has kids it seems everything just goes downhill from there.

There's too much **** that comes along with marriages. It could be that you end up having devil in laws who make your life a living nightmare. Being expected to cook/ clean etc all the time and take care of your "husband" like he's some newborn baby and putting your career/education on standstill. Years of education to get that ideal job thrown out of the window because let's face it. When you have a child you can't have a full time career at the same time. You need to spend time with your children so you end up working part time and eventually you stop working. Because kids are a full time job.

It just seems like stress piled on stress piled on more stress. I might consider having a single life forever. As much as i want a companion. Is it really worth the risk?

Tbh, you can't blame this on marriage. You have to blame the people. It's not marriage that made them argue, or separate. That would have happened if they were living together as well. I think it's poor life decisions tbh. There's single mothers around, a lot of which were never married, a lot of which were not even in relationships during conception.

If decisions were made more on happiness , rather than social conformity, things would be different.

I also think it's less about "having" to stay at home, and wanting to stay at home. Because when you have a child and maternal instincts kick in, the last thing you want to do is go back to your 9-5 (or so I have heard).

I've been married for 10 and a half years (but we've been together for 14 and a half years).

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 13

kka25

18

Original post by Alexion

42% of marriages end in divorce.

Sounds like a lot, but that other 58% are living the rest of their lives with the person they love. It may not be for everyone, but to those who really care for each other and are unwavering in their love, it's the greatest thing...

:cube:

Hugs and love are the best :hugs: