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Girl I slept with seemed keen, but seems distant since.. what I should do?

I've been seeing this foreign girl for just over a month and we've been out on four dates, the fourth which was last Sunday where she got me to meet her friends and we went back and had sex/slept together.

This girl has mostly hit up my phone with texts and initiated contact, replying back within minutes, etc however I have been busy with work lately and I have to wait a few hours to text her back. I've noticed she's been doing the same, to the point she hasn't replied at all to my last message.

Some back story of when I saw her last Sunday, she seemed really keen with me and seemed to enjoy our sex from her reactions, however I wasn't able to climax myself (due to masterbating earlier in the day) but we joked that it was tiredness and the drink as it was 2-3am. After I did ask if she'd want to be my girlfriend (wish I didn't do), she giggled and smiled but said it was "too soon". I said fair enough and didn't let it phase me.

The following morning, I woke up with her facing me and she smiled then she went in to kiss me. We both got up and got changed, she offered me breakfast but I said I'll get some on my way home. As I was sat down looking at my phone and she was doing her hair, she said "you can go home if you want you know" so I ended up leaving and she walked me to the door where we kissed, but she pulled away first. As I left she was stood behind the door as it closed.

Two days later I text her:

Me: Hey you, yeah you.. Can you keep a secret?
[3 mins later] Girl: What secret?
[an hour later] Me: Don't tell anyone.. But I met this cute girl on Sunday. She was called (her name). She snores a lot though
[7 hours later] Girl: I don't know that girl sorry
[following midday] Me: If you say so When are you next free to fight some crime, ninja?

This was yesterday at midday and I haven't had a reply since. I'm confused about what to do.. Should I go no contact and let her get back to me now the ball is in her court? Or should I send a text (assuming she didn't get it, she's had that problem before) on Boxing day asking about how her christmas went and build some rapport before suggest another day to meet?

I know she's got plans this christmas as she told me what she's doing, but even then I have time to send a quick text

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Reply 1
Sounds like you got pump n dumped
"Fight some crime, ninja". Initial reaction is this: :facepalm:
man the cringe is real i'm sorry
Reply 4
Original post by shawn_o1
"Fight some crime, ninja". Initial reaction is this: :facepalm:


I've used that line before with her and it's worked fine. It's more of a throwback to our initial interaction where we'd joke about fighting crime. The ninja part is a word she calls me.
Reply 5
maybe she couldn't keep the secret and she's worried you'll be unhappy so she's keeping her distance
It may have been the ninja thing. cringe
Reply 7
Original post by monk1324
It may have been the ninja thing. cringe


Why? She calls me "ninja" a lot, so I don't see the problem
Reply 8
Sounds like she just wanted the ****. I did something similar with some guy I knew was moving to uni in a few weeks.

I could be wrong tho, you may as well message her later and if she's still acting the same, just forget about her.

Posted from TSR Mobile
Reply 9
Original post by Devify
Sounds like she just wanted the ****. I did something similar with some guy I knew was moving to uni in a few weeks.

I could be wrong tho, you may as well message her later and if she's still acting the same, just forget about her.

Posted from TSR Mobile


It's been a day since, but I think after we had sex, maybe I'm acting way too jokey/cringy and not sincere enough.

She's spanish, so later I'll text her "Feliz Navidad! Hope you've had a great day". If If I get no response from that either, I'll delete her number and move on. If I get some sort of a response I'll go NC for a few days before re-initiating and try to set up a date to meet up again. It really depends what her response is, whether it warrants a reply to it
She only wanted to bang. She doesn't see u as relationship material
Reply 11
Original post by Ribbit1234
She only wanted to bang. She doesn't see u as relationship material


Why did she keep initiating contact with me and asking how my day was and if my dad was feeling better, etc? That doesn't sound like a FWB
"I don't know that girl sorry"

LOOOOL I'm sorry man, she's gone.
Original post by fmfan08
Why did she keep initiating contact with me and asking how my day was and if my dad was feeling better, etc? That doesn't sound like a FWB

U stopped paying her attention, she probably felt like she was being used n u only speak to her when ur bored or want to hookup for sex. She felt.. Idk unappreciated or not valued enough so she moved on and didn't want to waste her time on u
Reply 14
Oh well, another one I've messed up. I'm reluctant to see another girl, because I know somewhere down the line I will do something stupid to put her off, it's draining.. Yet I see everyone getting into relationships, etc effortlessly.
Original post by Reue
Sounds like you got pump n dumped


savage :rofl:
Why did she reply with not knowing that girl? Either she's not interested and gave you the cold shoulder or she didn't get the joke. I think she's no longer interested. I think there was potential but then she just wanted the sex.
I think you screwed up by asking her to be your girlfriend too early. That can really thwart progress if you ask too early. Never ask unless you're certain you're getting the vibes back. Sounds a bit desperate asking after a month.

Posted from TSR Mobile
Hey man, this issue you have sounds exactly like one I am or was in. You seem like a really nice guy but it seems she just wanted to hook up.
@fmfan08
Steps:

1) Block them.
2) Swerve them on sight.
3) Move on.
4) Find a nicer girl, this time express your intent for a relationship before you get freaky lol.
(edited 8 years ago)

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