Year 12s: what will be the first way you research your future options? >>

Am I lesbian, bi or what?

I hate modern terms where people claim to be attracted to whomever but what it is.

I recently turned 30, lost my virginity a week before my 19th to another girl, mostly because I am shy I met her online, she was 39 and the best sex I have had, as they say mind blowing.

After that had a few quickies with girls I met online who made excuses after I went down on them whilst I was still fully clothed or in underwear, had my first straight sex at 21 which was nice but didn't really do much for me, I did like it and dated the guy for a few months but he was immature, only orgasmed once with him after a booty call a few weeks after we broke up as I was a little confident and controlled him, even he said it was the best sex we had.

Wasn't until I was 25 I had another sexual experience, yes I went over 3 years without sex due to depression, met another older girl online and was the worst experience of my life, she forced me onto her and did nothing to my body bar shove a toy in which hurt.

Since then went without sex till last year, again meeting girls online, first was older and whilst plain was a natural pretty woman with a amazing personality, then another girl who only wanted satisfaction for herself.

Then slept with a guy twice, both guys just treated like get the job done and no more.

Its hard to tell if its sex with guys I don't like, or just these guys in particular.

Sorry strange thread, just rying to work things out, guys do something for me but I always find the sex disapointing if doing it whereas with women its nice but somethings missing.

Reply 1

JamesRousell

who cares, baby, people always tryna label themselves. slow down and enjoy lifeeeeeeeeeeee

Reply 2

maddy1234

hey OP
i think you arent supposed to have a label anyway.. live your life how you want and just accept the fact that both are doing it for you. I think because your experience when you were 30 was amazing as you say,, its led you to fantasize and want it even more and because you havent had a good time with a guy you are thinking they are not good enough, tbh you have to find a guy that really ticks all the boxes .. and once you feel hes done you good only then do I think you will actually know ... but thats just my opinion.... lol

and tbh im sort of in the same position... im witha guy but never had sex because of a long distance relationship... im a virgin.. but i fantasize about woman all the time and atleast you can decide which one suits you... i dont know because ive never been with a woman ever or a man hahaha ( im a bit of a woose). so i kinda feel for you girl.. but anyway hopefully you get the answer.. even if you dont.. its no biggie.. live every day like its a new day ....and dont worry about what shelf you are meant to be sitting on =)

Reply 3

unprinted

Sexuality is made up of a number of things, including attraction, identity and behaviour. They don't all have to be the same and can change over time. For a longer answer to 'what am I?' do a search for the Klein Sexual Orientation Grid...

You could do with getting better at finding compatible partners, of whatever gender, though. Did you know the 'made excuses' women weren't interested in going down on you?

Reply 4

charlie-hh

I can only agree with earlier comments - labels don't matter! Sexuality is not a yes/no certainty. As long as all is consensual I think people should go about sex as they wish.