Guy getting the wrong end of the stick
Okay I know the title sounds odd, but it'll help if you read below
So I’ve known this guy for a while. We are good friends andget on rather well. He’s told me before that he likes me as more than a friend,and frequently brings up the topic of me never dating in my life. He seems to like making fun of it, and saying how he doesn’t understand why I haven’t had a bf.
Honestly, I think he’s a decent guy. But he sometimes gets this ‘everyone is against me and judges me’ attitude. (Which really frustrates me). And the fact is, no-one is! There’s not a person I know who shows any behaviour like that towards him.
Every so often, he says ‘you won’t date me because you think I’m ugly and overweight’.
And this is completely not true. I find it almost offensive that he thinks I’m that shallow. I really want to tell him that it is nothing to do with his appearance why I don’t want to date him. He’s a good looking guy and his weight doesn’t bother me in the slightest.But the real reason I wouldn’t date him is because of his personality.
You’re probably confused as to why I have a problem with his personality when he’s a good friend... Well, I just don’t think he’s the sort of guy I’d want to date. Theseare the parts of his personality that put me off him:
He’s controlling
He’s attention seeking
He’s compulsive
He’s manipulative
He gets jealous all the time (even if I just talk to any other guy!) And he always brings it back on me
BUT, I still see him as a friend as he’s a good laugh, fun and nice to talk to (when he’s not being like the above).I just don’t know how to approach it when he uses the ‘why won’t you date me then if it's not about how ugly I am?’ question.
I can hardly say his personality traits that put me off him as he’d lose it, but if I say ‘I see you as more of a friend than anything else’, he gets REALLY offended and starts ranting about all the ‘friendzone’ stuff.
I just don’t know how to kind of ‘calm him down’ about it all. He just gets really touchy about it all and I try to move the convo on so it doesn’t ruin our friendship. But I'm getting fed up of him being like this now. It's been going on for over a year
Thanks for reading (I know it's quite the paragraph) x