No friends at university
I am in my 1st year at uni and just finished my 1st semester and have no friends, in fact ive never had any friends or any feeling of love, joy or happiness. I have made many acquaintance but none of them wish to hangout with me or anything to do with me . I have joined various different clubs and societies but people really just seem to avoid me even if i make the effort to talk to them. I have terrible social anxiety and I am trying very hard to get rid of it by joining more clubs and talking to people more but everyone just dosent want anything to do with me.
Original post by Courier6
I am in my 1st year at uni and just finished my 1st semester and have no friends, in fact ive never had any friends or any feeling of love, joy or happiness. I have made many acquaintance but none of them wish to hangout with me or anything to do with me . I have joined various different clubs and societies but people really just seem to avoid me even if i make the effort to talk to them. I have terrible social anxiety and I am trying very hard to get rid of it by joining more clubs and talking to people more but everyone just dosent want anything to do with me.
What about your flat mates?
Chances are because of your anxiety you're displaying behaviour subconsciously that make people think you don't really like them or want to talk to them, you may come across as unfriendly or aloof because of this. Trust me, I know.
I recommend you go and speak to your universities mental health coordinators, they should offer you some sort of help to cope with your anxiety and how to overcome it as well as looking at yourself and what your behaviours you may be telling others about you.
I recommend you go and speak to your universities mental health coordinators, they should offer you some sort of help to cope with your anxiety and how to overcome it as well as looking at yourself and what your behaviours you may be telling others about you.
Original post by DeadEnd_96
What about your flat mates?
I dont live uni accommodations i live in private ones
Original post by Courier6
I am in my 1st year at uni and just finished my 1st semester and have no friends, in fact ive never had any friends or any feeling of love, joy or happiness. I have made many acquaintance but none of them wish to hangout with me or anything to do with me . I have joined various different clubs and societies but people really just seem to avoid me even if i make the effort to talk to them. I have terrible social anxiety and I am trying very hard to get rid of it by joining more clubs and talking to people more but everyone just dosent want anything to do with me.
This is your problem... feeling sorry for yourself isn`t going to get you anywhere. People want to be friends with upbeat, happy people.
If you seem happy, lots of interests, upbeat, smile a lot you`ll bound to make new friends. And it only takes one!
Also your only first year... Alot of first years get pretty lonely and find it hard to find friends they can relate to. Social media does not tell the full story!
I did not have many friends in first year, but as soon as I changed my attitude. I do as I like, always smile, take an interest in other peoples lives... I now have quite a few friends and the circle seems to be expanding :-)
Original post by Petro_99
This is your problem... feeling sorry for yourself isn`t going to get you anywhere. People want to be friends with upbeat, happy people.
If you seem happy, lots of interests, upbeat, smile a lot you`ll bound to make new friends. And it only takes one!
Also your only first year... Alot of first years get pretty lonely and find it hard to find friends they can relate to. Social media does not tell the full story!
I did not have many friends in first year, but as soon as I changed my attitude. I do as I like, always smile, take an interest in other peoples lives... I now have quite a few friends and the circle seems to be expanding :-)
If you seem happy, lots of interests, upbeat, smile a lot you`ll bound to make new friends. And it only takes one!
Also your only first year... Alot of first years get pretty lonely and find it hard to find friends they can relate to. Social media does not tell the full story!
I did not have many friends in first year, but as soon as I changed my attitude. I do as I like, always smile, take an interest in other peoples lives... I now have quite a few friends and the circle seems to be expanding :-)
Petro_99s guide to making fake friends who will leave you the moment things get difficult.
Original post by Das Ich Man
Petro_99s guide to making fake friends who will leave you the moment things get difficult.
As someone who struggled immensely with social anxiety in my first year of university, I'd say her advice is spot on. With maybe the exception that a note about visiting a mental health professional about getting anxiety help would have also been good.
I still struggle with anxiety but not anywhere near as much as I used to, managing the symptoms and mental stress of it is a different matter and that is where mental health help comes in. But in terms of getting out of the rut I was in, changing my attitude and stopping making excuses for myself was absolutely vital to actually making a change and friends .
I don't think it at all just means you'll make fake friends, I was an absolutely awful friend and person to be around when I was in the clutches of anxiety and depression. just because I was struggling did not mean my friends or new people should have had to be dragged down with me, there is a balance between having supportive friends who you can talk to and being a sad sack who is more of a downbeat presence than a friend.
(edited 8 years ago)
I agree with the last comment it is worth speaking about it with someone, preferably someone being at status 'officer' although likewise it is a trained person.
I would like to add to this comment because I would like to let you know, you are not alone out there, we too, and at some point during the lines all feel secluded at times but the first break through is light deciding you are not a failure so by checking out your settlement: tell yourself is it the social climate who need to change around you(really). Have you thought maybe you are studying the wrong type of academic achievement so why try and write about yourself, and believe in your words which you are writing and then go and develop it under reaching out to social science. At instance let me tell you how brave you are on doing this, please know this is your break through that you need so whatever else you read on here, and whatever words stink in which mean something to heart. Please use it with direction and find out your identity because it sounds like you maybe studying the wrong thing?
I would like to add to this comment because I would like to let you know, you are not alone out there, we too, and at some point during the lines all feel secluded at times but the first break through is light deciding you are not a failure so by checking out your settlement: tell yourself is it the social climate who need to change around you(really). Have you thought maybe you are studying the wrong type of academic achievement so why try and write about yourself, and believe in your words which you are writing and then go and develop it under reaching out to social science. At instance let me tell you how brave you are on doing this, please know this is your break through that you need so whatever else you read on here, and whatever words stink in which mean something to heart. Please use it with direction and find out your identity because it sounds like you maybe studying the wrong thing?
Does it really bothers you that much?
I would say, try changing different things in your life, step by step and you will eventually see the results.
You do not have to be another person tomorrow, just make sure you have done something differently.
Posted from TSR Mobile
I would say, try changing different things in your life, step by step and you will eventually see the results.
You do not have to be another person tomorrow, just make sure you have done something differently.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Courier6
I am in my 1st year at uni and just finished my 1st semester and have no friends, in fact ive never had any friends or any feeling of love, joy or happiness. I have made many acquaintance but none of them wish to hangout with me or anything to do with me . I have joined various different clubs and societies but people really just seem to avoid me even if i make the effort to talk to them. I have terrible social anxiety and I am trying very hard to get rid of it by joining more clubs and talking to people more but everyone just dosent want anything to do with me.
im going through this at college, my anxiety is awful but recently ive made huge progress.
This may sound daunting, but literally, when youre doing group activities in class or sitting on a table with other people working and theyre talking- join in! say whats on your mind about the matter and theyll repsond (not rudely) and voila - youve made a conversation! ive got to stick to this but honestly its not as bad as you think and theres nothing to be afraid of (i struggle but remind myself this) ignore the negative delusions in your head! literally just yolo it. good luck <3
Original post by davidb9966
Does it really bothers you that much?
I would say, try changing different things in your life, step by step and you will eventually see the results.
You do not have to be another person tomorrow, just make sure you have done something differently.
Posted from TSR Mobile
I would say, try changing different things in your life, step by step and you will eventually see the results.
You do not have to be another person tomorrow, just make sure you have done something differently.
Posted from TSR Mobile
very well said
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