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Would you allow your 15 year old daughter to have sex in her room?

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Would you allow your 15 year old daughter to have sex in her room?

So someone told me that she used to have sex with her boyfriend at 15 years old while her parents were home. And that sometimes he stayed over. In that moment i tried to imagine my own future daughter and I really really tried to be liberal and open minded and that but I gathered I can not in any ways allow my daughter to have sex in my house. I will probably go kill the boyfriend with a hammer and watch him die. Ill make sure he dies slowly too. I don't care that I'll go to prison or anything. Would you allow that to happen?
(edited 8 years ago)

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If she was mature enough to make the decision and wasn't being taken advantage of then yes. Better it happens somewhere she feels safe and comfortable than in a strange house or worse. It's perfectly natural for most people of that age, it's going to happen anyway and making the right choices about it yourself is all a part of growing up.
I'd prefer my daughter and her partner to wait until they were both of legal age however I would rather them to have sex in a safe place rather than the middle god knows where. I'd also 300% discreetly buy condoms. Better safe sex that I'm not happy about than unsafe sex that they are trying to hide from me.
Original post by Saoirse:3
If she was mature enough to make the decision and wasn't being taken advantage of then yes. Better it happens somewhere she feels safe and comfortable than in a strange house or worse. It's perfectly natural for most people of that age, it's going to happen anyway and making the right choices about it yourself is all a part of growing up.


Original post by PurplePixie96
I'd prefer my daughter and her partner to wait until they were both of legal age however I would rather them to have sex in a safe place rather than the middle god knows where. I'd also 300% discreetly buy condoms. Better safe sex that I'm not happy about than unsafe sex that they are trying to hide from me.


These pretty much sum up my position. While I'd rather she waited until she was 16, I'm somewhat resigned to the fact that teenagers will do it regardless of the circumstances. Safe sex in a safe environment -- much better than getting pregnant after a romp in a bike shed.

Plus, I'm quite contemptuous of prudish parenting and I think that the whole sex-is-embarrassing-to-talk-about thing needs to go. It's healthy and I'd like to think that I'd be more than willing to let my kids grow up instead of babying them all the time.
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by PurplePixie96
I'd prefer my daughter and her partner to wait until they were both of legal age however I would rather them to have sex in a safe place rather than the middle god knows where. I'd also 300% discreetly buy condoms. Better safe sex that I'm not happy about than unsafe sex that they are trying to hide from me.


Original post by Hydeman
These pretty much sum up my position. While I'd rather she waited until she was 16, I'm somewhat resigned to the fact that teenagers will do it regardless of the circumstances. Safe sex in a safe environment -- much better than getting pregnant after a romp in a bike shed.

Plus, I'm quite contemptuous of prudish parenting and I think that the whole sex-is-embarrassing-to-talk-about thing needs to go. It's healthy and I'd like to think that I'd be more than willing to let my kids grow up instead of babying them all the time.


Even the legal age wouldn't bother me particularly (unless the guy was of an age where he was going to get in trouble over it). For practical reasons the age has to be the same for everyone, but some are ready far earlier than others. My 15 year old could be more prepared than a 16, 18 even 20 year old - and she's not going to suddenly mature at the arbitrary stage where the Earth has completed sixteen full rotations around the Sun since she left the womb.
Original post by Saoirse:3
Even the legal age wouldn't bother me particularly (unless the guy was of an age where he was going to get in trouble over it). For practical reasons the age has to be the same for everyone, but some are ready far earlier than others. My 15 year old could be more prepared than a 16, 18 even 20 year old - and she's not going to suddenly mature at the arbitrary stage where the Earth has completed sixteen full rotations around the Sun since she left the womb.


Like I said, I'd prefer if she waited until she was of a legal age but if she really couldn't wait then I wouldn't hold it against her, obviously xD


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Original post by Saoirse:3
Even the legal age wouldn't bother me particularly (unless the guy was of an age where he was going to get in trouble over it). For practical reasons the age has to be the same for everyone, but some are ready far earlier than others. My 15 year old could be more prepared than a 16, 18 even 20 year old - and she's not going to suddenly mature at the arbitrary stage where the Earth has completed sixteen full rotations around the Sun since she left the womb.


Good point. I also meant it in a 'only if it's illegal' sort of way. :tongue: Should have qualified it. I'd definitely judge on the basis of her maturity.
(edited 8 years ago)
So everyone's okay with it?!
I mean you are right about that it's better done in a safe environment but sometimes you want to be able to control your emotions and that but can't. I just can't deal with the fact that my 15 year old daughter is having sex right now in her room. I'd rather just not know if she's having sex.
Also, if you could encourage her not to have sex, would you do that?!
Would you rather she had sex at like 18-19 with someone who she's been with for like 6-7 months already and it was a real relationship?
Depends on how mature she is. Age is a number, nothing more. Maturity is something we can actually work with.

I didn't have sex until I was 18. But, I also know that at 15, I would have loved to have sex (wouldn't we all?!), but also only with someone I deeply cared about, and also I understood the importance of family, and how it's as important to prevent it as it is to encourage it.

If this "15 year old daughter" had the same understanding I did (and I would presume, most well educated 15 year olds who have a good upbringing which balances parental contribution to self discovery), then I would have enough trust to leave it to her to make that decision for herself.

Of course, if the guy had sex with her then never spoke to her again, I'd put him in hospital, minus two testicles. Just sayin.

Because when I was 15, I would never have considered having sex with someone I didn't deeply care about, and want to spent lots of time with them - I was realistic, I wasn't there to have kids or spend the rest of my life with them. We lived in a situation where those kinds of things weren't possible. But I was in a position to love someone and be with them the best I can until we were both old enough to either take the plunge to move away and live together, or take the plunge and move away to live apart.
Original post by TrotskyiteRebel
So everyone's okay with it?!
I mean you are right about that it's better done in a safe environment but sometimes you want to be able to control your emotions and that but can't. I just can't deal with the fact that my 15 year old daughter is having sex right now in her room. I'd rather just not know if she's having sex.
Also, if you could encourage her not to have sex, would you do that?!
Would you rather she had sex at like 18-19 with someone who she's been with for like 6-7 months already and it was a real relationship?


Personally, I'd rather know. It'd show my daughter trusted me and I would love a path of communication that was so easy.

I waited till I was 18 and my partner and I had been together for 6 months, but I have friends who hooked up age 16. Everyone is different and sex is an incredibly personal thing, everyone is entitled to make their own decisions about it, and as much as that can upset parents its just the way it is.

I'm 19 now, been with my partner 18months and my parents still resent the fact I'm having sex but they also recognise that it is my decision and they respect that.


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Original post by TrotskyiteRebel
So everyone's okay with it?!
I mean you are right about that it's better done in a safe environment but sometimes you want to be able to control your emotions and that but can't. I just can't deal with the fact that my 15 year old daughter is having sex right now in her room. I'd rather just not know if she's having sex.
Also, if you could encourage her not to have sex, would you do that?!
Would you rather she had sex at like 18-19 with someone who she's been with for like 6-7 months already and it was a real relationship?



A 15 year old should be doing her home works and preparing for GCSE.

If I see my 15 year old daughter with a boy, bad things will happen. Worse will happen to the boy and his family.

Kids should only use their genitalias for urination and there should not be an upgrade on that function until they are at least 20 years.
(edited 8 years ago)
No I bloody wouldn't. She wouldn't even be allowed boys in her room....:colonhash:
Original post by bardnnyc
A 15 year old should be doing her home works and preparing for GCSE.

If I see my 15 year old daughter with a boy, bad things will happen. Worse will happen to the boy and his family.

Kids should only use their genitalias for urination and that function should not and must not change until they are at least 20 years.

I don't know why I kind of agree with this it's so ****ing wrong but I do a little bit hahahah
Original post by bardnnyc
A 15 year old should be doing her home works and preparing for GCSE.

If I see my 15 year old daughter with a boy, bad things will happen. Worse will happen to the boy and his family.

Kids should only use their genitalias for urination and that function should not and must not change until they are at least 20 years.


Well, we all know your daughter will be 14 getting rimmed in the park by some 20 year old after a bottle of lambrini with that kind of parenting, my parents were the exact same, still are an I'm almost 22 now but luckily I have enough self respect an waited til I was 'of age'
You do shiz like that to your kids an they will resent you and have no trust in you what so ever.
So long as they're safe and you know WHO the're seeing, you shouldn't have a problem.
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K.C
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Original post by 4Skin
Only if I was allowed to join in. Giggity.


yikes
Original post by TheonlyMrsHolmes
No I bloody wouldn't. She wouldn't even be allowed boys in her room....:colonhash:


And this is why most girls are pregnant before 16. Parents are too harsh so they have to sneak around having sex willy nilly, not using protection an havings kids. Kids shouldnt be having kids, instead of discouraging sex, encourage safe sex, or you'll be a grandparent at 30. Smh.
Original post by Emmiiellen
And this is why most girls are pregnant before 16. Parents are too harsh so they have to sneak around having sex willy nilly, not using protection an havings kids. Kids shouldnt be having kids, instead of discouraging sex, encourage safe sex, or you'll be a grandparent at 30. Smh.


Exactly like no ones asking you to talk about it with them either, just suggest the pill/other forms of birth control to your daughter and provide condoms, you dont have to make a big ceremony, just dump them in the bathroom or the bedroom and they'll probably get the message


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Original post by PurplePixie96
Exactly like no ones asking you to talk about it with them either, just suggest the pill/other forms of birth control to your daughter and provide condoms, you dont have to make a big ceremony, just dump them in the bathroom or the bedroom and they'll probably get the message


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100%! I would much rather my daughter come into the room and tell me she needs more condoms than her to tell me I need to call a bloody midwife :'D
Original post by PurplePixie96
Exactly like no ones asking you to talk about it with them either, just suggest the pill/other forms of birth control to your daughter and provide condoms, you dont have to make a big ceremony, just dump them in the bathroom or the bedroom and they'll probably get the message


Posted from TSR Mobile


100%! I would much rather my daughter came into the room to tell me she needs more condoms than for her to tell me to call a bloody midwife! :'D
(First time I posted this it was anon for some reason lol sorry)
Original post by Emmiiellen
And this is why most girls are pregnant before 16. Parents are too harsh so they have to sneak around having sex willy nilly, not using protection an havings kids. Kids shouldnt be having kids, instead of discouraging sex, encourage safe sex, or you'll be a grandparent at 30. Smh.


Another option is to tell her to not have sex at all. If you do the right upbringing then they won't even have sex at 15. I believe chastity should be encouraged. In America, a 2001 study showed that 70% of women have not had sex before marriage obviously now it's much less than that but this shows that in a more conservative society with the right values such things will not happen. Such values you talked about only made us the country with the highest rate of teen pregnancy in Europe whereas US has waaaaaaaaay less pregnant teens than we do.

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