The Student Room Group

Dad's cheating on Mum - should I tell her?

I found out my Dad's cheating on my Mum. He told me himself.
He brought me into the living room and told me to close the door and then he started building it up saying "how would you feel if I were to have a relationship with another woman", "your mum doesn't give me what I need" and eventually he just showed me the photos of him and his bitch and told me everything.

Anyway me and my mum are really really really really really close and I love her to bits but I'm scared this will hurt her if I tell her and I don't want problems to be happening in the house.

The guilt is consuming me - should I tell her? Or should I keep it hush for the best?
Original post by Anonymous
I found out my Dad's cheating on my Mum. He told me himself.
He brought me into the living room and told me to close the door and then he started building it up saying "how would you feel if I were to have a relationship with another woman", "your mum doesn't give me what I need" and eventually he just showed me the photos of him and his bitch and told me everything.

Anyway me and my mum are really really really really really close and I love her to bits but I'm scared this will hurt her if I tell her and I don't want problems to be happening in the house.

The guilt is consuming me - should I tell her? Or should I keep it hush for the best?


I think your mom has a right to know, no matter hard this might be, the very last thing you would want is for your mom to be upset with you because of withdrawing such information. It's a very tough situation and I'm awfully sorry, but I believe your mom deserves to know what is happening. If not, at the very least encourage your dad to tell your mother considering he had the sheer audacity to tell you.
Reply 2
Original post by WarwickFan
I think your mom has a right to know, no matter hard this might be, the very last thing you would want is for your mom to be upset with you because of withdrawing such information. It's a very tough situation and I'm awfully sorry, but I believe your mom deserves to know what is happening. If not, at the very least encourage your dad to tell your mother considering he had the sheer audacity to tell you.


He told me not to tell her and to keep it between us. I'm not even close to my Dad and I have no idea why he told me. But yeah you're probably right I should tell her :frown: Thank you
Reply 3
I think you should tell your mum, hes just causing betrayal and guilt, your mum clearly deserves someone better, if you dont mind me saying
Tell her.
Reply 5
I think your Mum has the right to know.

Your Dad has behaved very selfishly by confiding in you and giving you this cross to bear.

I'm sure your Mum would be unhappy if she found out in the future and knew you had kept the truth from her.

She will find out at some point. Don't live a lie.
Reply 6
If it were me id probably blackmail my dad ie ask PS4, new laptop, new car etc etc on the premise that i didnt say a word...then break the terms of our agreement and tell my mum. But im sneaky like that!

In all truth, I would advise you to tell her, but expect the entire thing to be messy because they probably will split. Think how it may impact your siblings and your mum and work out a strategy to minimise the blow for them. Best of luck though.
Reply 7
Original post by ikhan94
I think you should tell your mum, hes just causing betrayal and guilt, your mum clearly deserves someone better, if you dont mind me saying


Original post by ivybridge
Tell her.


Original post by stefano865
I think your Mum has the right to know.

Your Dad has behaved very selfishly by confiding in you and giving you this cross to bear.

I'm sure your Mum would be unhappy if she found out in the future and knew you had kept the truth from her.

She will find out at some point. Don't live a lie.


Okay I'll tell her
It's gonna cause a lot of family problems and I'm scared about the fights but she has the right to know so I guess I should
Reply 8
Original post by donte
If it were me id probably blackmail my dad ie ask PS4, new laptop, new car etc etc on the premise that i didnt say a word...then break the terms of our agreement and tell my mum. But im sneaky like that!

In all truth, I would advise you to tell her, but expect the entire thing to be messy because they probably will split. Think how it may impact your siblings and your mum and work out a strategy to minimise the blow for them. Best of luck though.


Yeah it will affect some of us a lot because some siblings are close to my dad and I don't wanna be the person to break the family apart but it's the right thing to do so I'll do it

thank you
Reply 9
I believe the best way forward would be to give your dad a chance to explain himself to your mum. Give him a timeline in which he has to let her know (let's say, a couple of days), or else you'll tell her yourself.

I am sorry you've been put in this situation. It is by no means one you deserve to be in, but your mum has a right to know who she has dedicated her life to, and I'd imagine it would (very slightly) soften the blow to hear of your father's indiscretions from himself.

Regardless of what you choose to do, I wish you the best of luck.
Reply 10
Original post by Anonymous
Yeah it will affect some of us a lot because some siblings are close to my dad and I don't wanna be the person to break the family apart but it's the right thing to do so I'll do it

thank you


I'd advise you confront your dad first though. It may be better if he tells your mum and then you wont be the "home-wrecker child".

IF you do this though, Id try and get evidence like the pics and stuff because i know my dad would spin the whole situation and play it off as though id made the entire thing up for shits and giggles, (however I doubt your dad would be as much of a **** as mine is. XD )
Cheaters are pigs and deserve no mercy
Original post by donte
If it were me id probably blackmail my dad ie ask PS4, new laptop, new car etc etc on the premise that i didnt say a word...then break the terms of our agreement and tell my mum.


I wish I knew people that gave me this sort of advice. I actually like your mentality and should serve you well for a powerful future :crown:
Original post by Anonymous
Okay I'll tell her
It's gonna cause a lot of family problems and I'm scared about the fights but she has the right to know so I guess I should



I know. I'm really sorry about that.

But I think the fights will be worse if she finds out in a years time.
does your dad know how you feel about this? tell him he ought to communicate with your mum and explain how he is feeling. ask him what he could do to change the situation, or if its really serious they should get marriage counselling. goodness, your mum deserves respect and it would be silly for the marriage to end this way just because your dad doesn't feel his needs are being met!

but before you give any serious advice to anyone, I'd go see an adult you trust at your school, preferably one that is/ has been married. because they will give better,more trustworthy advice than strangers on the internet

I'm sorry you have to go through this, my heart goes out to you! I hope the situation improves!
Reply 15
Yeah I'd blackmail my Dad, he's a piece of **** for cheating first of all and then putting his kid in that position too without even telling the Mom first. Actually that makes him retarded AND a piece of ****. :rofl:

Get a custom built PC :u:
Ok thanks so much for the help guys!
I'll try and talk to him first and if he's not budging then I'll tell Mum myself
I hope this ends well :frown:
Original post by Anonymous
Okay I'll tell her
It's gonna cause a lot of family problems and I'm scared about the fights but she has the right to know so I guess I should


To be honest its his own fault mate...
Urgh. He's put you in one **** situation. Part of me thinks it's your place not to say anything. But it's not the sort of thing you can keep quiet about.

Quick Reply

Latest