Please, can someone help me?

I have really bad anxiety, and I always struggle to concentrate in lessons. As a child, I visited one of those places where they check if you have autism, adhd, that sort of stuff. I didn't have any of them.
I'm sexually active, but not really like every day, maybe every 2-3 days, but that's not the case.

I am in my last year, 5th year of school (year 11) with exams pressuring on me, and I'm finding it hard coping right now. Me and my girlfriend broke up around 2 month before last christmas, and that was because of a guy who I thought I could call my friend. He basically got me drunk, took over my phone, and said hurtful stuff to my girl and which we got back together a month later of severe pain, I tried to move on however, but it didnt work, so I went back to my lovely girlfriend.

All goes moderate throughout the year, I feel depressed as usual, but who doesnt right?

Towards the end of 2015, around September, we had an argument how she had been speaking to other guys.
Is it possible to be traumatized by the things she has been saying to him? Because It's been 6 month now and I'm still as worse when I found out.
We split up, literally just before christmas we got back together, and I found myself feeling happier. I did feel happier, I knew my life was going perfect. Then, she left her phone on whilst going to the toilet, I took the opportunity (because we both do this, she checks my phone) to check her phone, and I found out, she told other men she loved them, which did make my spine shiver, and then people asking her for nudes, and other things. She's denying saying she never met this kid who asked for nudes, but her brother, who can be a pain sometimes objected to that and told me she did meet him, "She told us she was going to tesco to meet him" and he never said the name of the boy because the brother couldnt remember, but I said the boys name for him, and he clicked on straight away. So did she meet this boy that asked her for nudes, I'll never know!

Before she spoke to him, she was speaking to someone else who I also wont mention, and she let him in her house, a guy she had been speaking to for a week, she met him, a 15 year old girl met a 17 year old boy. Yeah, and I've looked up all his ex's, they all said he's tried to make a move on them, and the mother went out too whilst my girlfriend was all alone with this potential paedophile. She let him in the house with just the 12 year and, and herself. If shes strong enough to handle a 17 year old, fair enough, but I felt nothing but fear when I heard she was talking to him. She told me they did NOTHING but kiss, they went into the hall on their own and shut the door, kissed, hugged, she even captioned his pictures to her friends saying 'mmmmmmmmm, look how tall he is'

Why is this mentally traumatising me. I'm shaking just while writiing this, I'm sorry for any weird, grammar or mistakes in general, I'm super scared, what if she does this again?
I've been with her 2 years too. I love her to bits, but after what she's done, I've felt myself slowly drifting away.

I do love her, but sometimes I feel like I dont. But the thought of her with another man makes me feel empty and worthless. The guy she spoke to, not the one she let into her house, the other one, is actually attending my school, and obviously with GCSE's, he stares me out at every exam, and I feel so intimidated. I am utterly scared, not from him, If I had the opportunity I would cave his head in, I know that's a violent thing to do, but for one he used my girlfriend for nudes, which according to her she never sent, but she's very shy, but if you tell her to do something she will.

I dont trust ANYONE no more, I have 3-4 friends, who I can just about trust. This girls writes things to me which make my heart warm up, but do I really believe it when she's done that in the past?

Some people here might tell me to grow some balls and stop being a b**ch, but I am actually scarred off that, I'm mentally traumatised by it. I'm going to the doctors to see what he says, I guess its easier in person, but any ideas would be great. I guess it hurts to be nice sometimes, so any comments feel free.

If you're upto this, I congratulate you, I do waffle.

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 1

Blondie987

I'd recommend speaking to a doctor and/or a therapist if your anxiety is this bad, I'll bump this for you so others can give their input :smile:

Reply 2

p3nis

Lots of words. Let me slice through that barrage of text with a knife of clarity

You know I had a somewhat similar situation where I stayed with a girl for many years; way longer than I should have, because I was too weak to move on?

Out there is a girl waiting for you which will complement your personality better, and will offer none of the BS youre dealing with now. Have some shots of whiskey if you cant naturally get confident , pluck up the courage to move on, and dump your girl.

Please, can someone help me?

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