Causes of loneliness
Hey,
We all feel lonely at different times in our life, some more than others. What would you guys say are your main causes of feeling lonely?
We all feel lonely at different times in our life, some more than others. What would you guys say are your main causes of feeling lonely?
(edited 8 years ago)
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Inadequate parenting and being subjected to bullying from an early age. Lack of friends during school didn't help. I'm something of a cynic now. 
Original post by moment of truth
Hey,
We all feel lonely at different times in our life, some more than others. What would you guys say are your main causes of feeling lonely?
We all feel lonely at different times in our life, some more than others. What would you guys say are your main causes of feeling lonely?
Seeing friends on Facebook and social media up to all sorts of fun things and negatively comparing my life with theirs. I heard a quote which is so true though:, "Never compare your behind the scenes with someone else's highlight reel." As people only tend to share their 'best bits' so you don't necessarily get an accurate portrayal of their lives.
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by Hydeman
Inadequate parenting and being subjected to bullying from an early age. Lack of friends during school didn't help. I'm something of a cynic now.
I know exactly what you mean, I am the same. Always think the worst of people and it feels weird when people genuinely care about me (other than family).
Original post by tinkerbelle2
Seeing friends on Facebook and social media up to all sorts of fun things and negatively comparing my life with theirs. I heard a quote which is so true though:, "Never compare your behind the scenes with someone else's highlight reel." As people only tend to share their 'best bits' so you don't necessarily get an attract portrayal of their lives.
Agree with this too, but for me it goes further than just social media and even includes things like Whatsapp, at times, too. I don't really use Facebook that much anymore, to be honest.
Well I'm doing an extra year of A Levels outside of school and I don't work, so the fact I literally never see anyone outside of holiday time for uni students could be a cause but I've found I don't really mind.
Sometimes when I'm in a psychotic episode, I get very agoraphobic OR it's just not safe for me to leave the flat at all. That (especially when combined with insomnia) can make me feel really lonely 
I mean, I know my username is The_Lonely_Goatherd but that doesn't actually mean I like being lonely - tiz just a song reference! 
I mean, I know my username is The_Lonely_Goatherd but that doesn't actually mean I like being lonely - tiz just a song reference! 
Original post by Dinasaurus
Well I'm doing an extra year of A Levels outside of school and I don't work, so the fact I literally never see anyone outside of holiday time for uni students could be a cause but I've found I don't really mind.
I'm in the same boat but I see people almost on a daily basis when I go gym.
It helps to not just isolate yourself.
Original post by tinkerbelle2
Seeing friends on Facebook and social media up to all sorts of fun things and negatively comparing my life with theirs. I heard a quote which is so true though:, "Never compare your behind the scenes with someone else's highlight reel." As people only tend to share their 'best bits' so you don't necessarily get an attract portrayal of their lives.
That such a great saying! Thanks for sharing
I guess I feel lonely on the days when I'm having a hard time with my anxiety and depression as it feels like I'm on a completely different level to those around me, plus there's the occasional doubt that the people around me don't actually care about me (which I know deep down isn't true) and that I'm completely removed from others. That sounds really deep but those are when its really bad which isn't that often to be fair, I'm optimistic, just gotta take it one day at a time
Sorry about the late replies 
I know the feeling, I dropped out of uni last year and spent the majority of 2015 at home all day doing nothing and watching Netflix, was extremely lonely at times. You say that you don't really mind so that is a good sign
I can empathise with this, too. There have been many times when I feel like no one cares as they may see my struggling at home but don't even support me or anything Yup, remain optimistic and remember that you aren't alone in feeling that way, and you can always PM me if you want to have a chat or anything 
One day at a time!
I can imagine, feeling scared to leave your house because you feel like you may be triggered etc is extremely lonely.
Original post by Dinasaurus
Well I'm doing an extra year of A Levels outside of school and I don't work, so the fact I literally never see anyone outside of holiday time for uni students could be a cause but I've found I don't really mind.
I know the feeling, I dropped out of uni last year and spent the majority of 2015 at home all day doing nothing and watching Netflix, was extremely lonely at times. You say that you don't really mind so that is a good sign
Original post by Blondie987
I guess I feel lonely on the days when I'm having a hard time with my anxiety and depression as it feels like I'm on a completely different level to those around me, plus there's the occasional doubt that the people around me don't actually care about me (which I know deep down isn't true) and that I'm completely removed from others. That sounds really deep but those are when its really bad which isn't that often to be fair, I'm optimistic, just gotta take it one day at a time
I can empathise with this, too. There have been many times when I feel like no one cares as they may see my struggling at home but don't even support me or anything
Yup, remain optimistic and remember that you aren't alone in feeling that way, and you can always PM me if you want to have a chat or anything One day at a time! Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd
Sometimes when I'm in a psychotic episode, I get very agoraphobic OR it's just not safe for me to leave the flat at all. That (especially when combined with insomnia) can make me feel really lonely I mean, I know my username is The_Lonely_Goatherd but that doesn't actually mean I like being lonely - tiz just a song reference!
I mean, I know my username is The_Lonely_Goatherd but that doesn't actually mean I like being lonely - tiz just a song reference! I can imagine, feeling scared to leave your house because you feel like you may be triggered etc is extremely lonely.
Original post by moment of truth
Sorry about the late replies
I know the feeling, I dropped out of uni last year and spent the majority of 2015 at home all day doing nothing and watching Netflix, was extremely lonely at times. You say that you don't really mind so that is a good sign
I can empathise with this, too. There have been many times when I feel like no one cares as they may see my struggling at home but don't even support me or anything Yup, remain optimistic and remember that you aren't alone in feeling that way, and you can always PM me if you want to have a chat or anything One day at a time!
I can imagine, feeling scared to leave your house because you feel like you may be triggered etc is extremely lonely.
I know the feeling, I dropped out of uni last year and spent the majority of 2015 at home all day doing nothing and watching Netflix, was extremely lonely at times. You say that you don't really mind so that is a good sign
I can empathise with this, too. There have been many times when I feel like no one cares as they may see my struggling at home but don't even support me or anything
Yup, remain optimistic and remember that you aren't alone in feeling that way, and you can always PM me if you want to have a chat or anything One day at a time! I can imagine, feeling scared to leave your house because you feel like you may be triggered etc is extremely lonely.
Thank you! I really do believe I'll get past it but I've still got a long way to go. Thanks for understanding and obviously if you ever want to PM me too go ahead!
Original post by Blondie987
Thank you! I really do believe I'll get past it but I've still got a long way to go. Thanks for understanding and obviously if you ever want to PM me too go ahead!
Thank you
Would you say things have improved for you recently?
Original post by moment of truth
Thank you
Would you say things have improved for you recently?
Would you say things have improved for you recently?
Definitely, my mental health problems started around the start of 2014 and lasted most of the year but by mid 2015, I had decided on the course I actually wanted to do, I was laughing again, I could actually get out of bed and now I'm actually looking forward to the future and frankly really enjoying my life right now. Like I said, the issues won't go away overnight but the improvement from then until now has been immense and I'm looking forward to life getting even better as cheesy as that sounds lol, hope you're doing good too and if not I hope you get to the place you want to be
feel free to message me anytime if you want Original post by moment of truth
I can imagine, feeling scared to leave your house because you feel like you may be triggered etc is extremely lonely.
Forgot to say: another thing that makes me feel lonely is not being able to go to church and be part of a church community. Can be isolating, especially in the run-up to big religious feasts like Christmasn and Easter
Original post by Blondie987
Definitely, my mental health problems started around the start of 2014 and lasted most of the year but by mid 2015, I had decided on the course I actually wanted to do, I was laughing again, I could actually get out of bed and now I'm actually looking forward to the future and frankly really enjoying my life right now. Like I said, the issues won't go away overnight but the improvement from then until now has been immense and I'm looking forward to life getting even better as cheesy as that sounds lol, hope you're doing good too and if not I hope you get to the place you want to be feel free to message me anytime if you want
feel free to message me anytime if you want That's really good to hear; long may it continue!
It is important to push ourselves, but not to expect us to be perfect straight away. I have improved a lot recently, and even though there are dips and times when I do feel quite isolated and pretty depressed, they are not as much as a lot of 2015 and the end of 2014.
Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd
Forgot to say: another thing that makes me feel lonely is not being able to go to church and be part of a church community. Can be isolating, especially in the run-up to big religious feasts like Christmasn and Easter
I can imagine how isolating that would be
Original post by moment of truth
That's really good to hear; long may it continue! It is important to push ourselves, but not to expect us to be perfect straight away.
I have improved a lot recently, and even though there are dips and times when I do feel quite isolated and pretty depressed, they are not as much as a lot of 2015 and the end of 2014.
I can imagine how isolating that would be
It is important to push ourselves, but not to expect us to be perfect straight away. I have improved a lot recently, and even though there are dips and times when I do feel quite isolated and pretty depressed, they are not as much as a lot of 2015 and the end of 2014.
I can imagine how isolating that would be
That's so similar to me, I'm glad to hear it
I think it's good to remember that so many of our thoughts throughout depression and anxiety go through a kind of filter, it's so strange to look back at 2014 and think that I honestly thought it would never get better and yet I'm hear a year later knowing that isn't true! Like you said, may the improvements continue thanks for the follow btw!Original post by Blondie987
That's so similar to me, I'm glad to hear it I think it's good to remember that so many of our thoughts throughout depression and anxiety go through a kind of filter, it's so strange to look back at 2014 and think that I honestly thought it would never get better and yet I'm hear a year later knowing that isn't true! Like you said, may the improvements continue thanks for the follow btw!
I think it's good to remember that so many of our thoughts throughout depression and anxiety go through a kind of filter, it's so strange to look back at 2014 and think that I honestly thought it would never get better and yet I'm hear a year later knowing that isn't true! Like you said, may the improvements continue thanks for the follow btw!Yepp, we have similar experiences haha. Definitely true, never thought I was going to get over that experience of when I was at my lowest but I am here now and am happier and doing better. I was just following you back!
Original post by moment of truth
Sorry about the late replies
I know the feeling, I dropped out of uni last year and spent the majority of 2015 at home all day doing nothing and watching Netflix, was extremely lonely at times. You say that you don't really mind so that is a good sign
I know the feeling, I dropped out of uni last year and spent the majority of 2015 at home all day doing nothing and watching Netflix, was extremely lonely at times. You say that you don't really mind so that is a good sign
It's a good sign in terms that I won't lose sleep over it, but I feel like I should mind, you know what I mean? Like before hand I was the type of person who was constantly chatting with friends, meeting up with people like several times a week etc. So I'm shocked at how in such a small time, I've become complacent with nothing.
I haven't left the house in over 3 months and haven't seen any of my friends for 5+ years. I might be wrong but I think that has something to do with my loneliness.
Actually I don't really feel all that lonely these days. I've gone through the loneliness barrier. Now I'm more than happy to be on my own for days or weeks on end with no human contact.
Actually I don't really feel all that lonely these days. I've gone through the loneliness barrier. Now I'm more than happy to be on my own for days or weeks on end with no human contact.
Original post by Blondie987
That such a great saying! Thanks for sharing
Aww you're welcome 😊 I thought it was good too! So true, I do it all the time and sometimes I'm not even aware! I always feel other people are "better than me", in all areas. This year I'm really going to challenge that and start planning fun things but without feeling the need to share it and show off about it on FB. Although sometimes it's nice to share things on there like holiday photos etc.
I meant accurate not attract haha*
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