I went over to this guys house... I'm not quite sure what happened here?

Yeah I hear that but at the end of the day I wasn't turned on at all. In the beginning when we were kissing it was all good and then it went down hill. I guessed he probably did go to the bathroom to do that after trying to hint for me to do it for him.

What an awkward evening between two people supposedly in some sort of relationship.


happening (to an extent as I made sure not to shave my legs just incase I had that urge).
.

What exactly are you going about in this bit I have copied, you shaved your legs just incase you were to have sex? Yet the whole evening you seemed incredibly uncomfortable with this fella to the point you did not want sex.


Afterwards he said he was a little wet and basically said he would usually watch porn

What kind of guy gets wet?

Usually a term used to describe a horny female and then what kinda men mentions watching porn with a lady he is having a evening with? Where exactly did you meet such a fella sounds very sleazy and probably lacks social skills.



What happened here?

It's not rocket science he wanted sex and you didn't want it. This is quite a normal response from a guy if he is attracted to you. You don't particularly sound attracted to this guy in any way so I do wonder why you even got yourself in a situation where you knew he would wish to sexually escalate the situation. In fact you almost sound like this whole experience with a guy is totally new to you.

You did mention you are inexperienced so I guess that goes without mentioning.

I would think you should be happy you got to leave without having sex which you did not want so why ponder over the whole awkward evening on TSR?

She doesn't seem to understand that rejection may make a person feel upset ? Especially that bluntly.

lol he said he was wet.

Exactly, If I had a girl over mine that I had been dating for a while, we got to kissing and fooling around, with her wrapping her legs around me making me think she's enjoying it and then said basically "you don't turn me on" I'd be offended & quiet too.

Haha I will admit some of the things he said might of killed the mood, for instance I'd never "ask" a girl if she's turned on, I'd never say "I'm wet" and I'd never mention I'd watch porn to finish myself off then disappear to the bathroom

It's okay that you weren't turned on. He should have tried to do something about it instead of sulking. Also, it's okay to not want to have sex/do sexual stuff with him. You didn't get yourself into a situation, honestly the other people on this thread need to grow up. You do not have to have sex with him, and being honest was the best thing to do otherwise you would've been stuck doing that for a while. If he actually cared, he would have tried to see to your needs and given you the space you clearly wanted instead of going off in a huff

For anyone reading this: It's okay to say no to someone if you're not in the mood for sex or sexual contact. To be honest, going along with it for as long as OP did is testament to her patience. He has no right to be a tw*t to her just because she wasn't in the mood.

OP - you didn't do anything wrong. You were right to be direct with him, and if he's a grown man then he won't be a c*nt next time you say no. If he doesn't. then I'd advise giving him the shoulder.

What's with people these days?

It's also okay if a guy says that he doesn't want to do stuff too. I've been there with a girl who wanted to do stuff but I wanted to remain friends. Thankfully she was all right about it.

Fair enough - it's a tricky situation as there are different things going on. You were right to say no if you weren't feeling it, you shouldn't do it just for him. But it's understandable that he'd feel rejected/disappointed if you said no.. up to you to decide what happens next, I s'pose.

You make it sound like I wasn't feeling it from the beginning. I liked what was going on at the start when we were making out, then the dry humping came out of nowhere and I thought I'd see if I enjoyed it so I tried to get into it. However it just wasn't happening for me. I can't force myself to be turned on.


I found this part so bizarre. I didn't need to hear any of that.

Sounds like you hurt his ego and he doesn't really have a clue how to approach any of what happened. I get that what you said could have disappointed him, but in no way should you have to lie about being turned on to appease someone you're possibly starting a relationship with. That's no way to start a relationship and a sure fire way to lead to a poor sex life if you can't communicate with eachother honestly or be open to eachother about things you do and don't like without the other one sulking like a child. I think he acted like a bit of a dick to be honest from what you've said, if he didn't want to hear the answers he shouldn't have asked you the questions.

Meh he defintely shouldn't have asked me those questions on the spot as I am an honest person and I clearly don't have any tact. He thought I was just lying at that moment in time, we were watching a show where the detectives could tell if someone was lying, so for some reason he thought one of the examples applied to me. I feel like he could have asked me what I preferred instead but he was more concerned about getting himself off it seems! I admit that I liked when we were kissing then it went down hill after that. I thought I'd give the dry humping a go since I've never tried it then it quickly realised it wasn't for me. I can't force being turned on.

It sucks you had a bad experience. How do you think you two will proceed?

I wasn't uncomfortable the whole evening. I decided to go to his house because I was into him and things were going really well. It was obvious we were attracted to each other and on other occasions I felt turned on by certain things he did and I was open to the idea of being intimate (not sex at this stage and he knew this). I actually said I DIDNT shave my legs because I knew sex wasn't on the cards at this stage.

At that point in time I started to feel very awkward. I have no idea why he literally told me his shorts were wet, but I did question him and ask what he was going to do about it (since he hasn't moved yet) and then he told me he would usually watch porn unless he had company. He just kind of sat there and I was pretty certain he wanted me to finish him off but that wasn't happening.

From the sounds of it you have completely misread my post or something has been lost in transition. I liked the dude, was open to sexual activity just not full blown sex. I enjoyed the first part of the evening and then his actions made me feel extremely awkward.

No idea. I doubt he will get in contact with me. I was thinking of going over there to talk to him, I'm not sure how to address the situation. I feel like whatever I have to say might end up hurting his feelings even more but at the same time I have to consider my own feelings first at the end of the day.

Meh he defintely shouldn't have asked me those questions on the spot as I am an honest person and I clearly don't have any tact. He thought I was just lying at that moment in time, we were watching a show where the detectives could tell if someone was lying, so for some reason he thought one of the examples applied to me. I feel like he could have asked me what I preferred instead but he was more concerned about getting himself off it seems! I admit that I liked when we were kissing then it went down hill after that. I thought I'd give the dry humping a go since I've never tried it then it quickly realised it wasn't for me. I can't force being turned on.

I understand that, but if I'm uncomfortable and feeling like he isn't really considering my feelings anyway, the least of my worries is whether or not I've come across as blunt.

Me stating you rejected him is not the same as me saying you should have had sex with him. The issue is you seem confused as to why he was maybe disappointed in the evening with you.

If you ever see this fella again you need to tell him not to mention his routine of watching porn to girls again unless he wishes for further disspointment nor the fact the fact he ejaculated on himself, this guy seems to lack any common sense. I would think the porn mention would scare most girls into leaving.

You blue balled him and offended him by saying you weren't turned on

For anyone reading this: It's okay to say no to someone if you're not in the mood for sex or sexual contact. To be honest, going along with it for as long as OP did is testament to her patience. He has no right to be a tw*t to her just because she wasn't in the mood.

OP - you didn't do anything wrong. You were right to be direct with him, and if he's a grown man then he won't be a c*nt next time you say no. If he doesn't. then I'd advise giving him the shoulder.

What's with people these days?

It's also okay if a guy says that he doesn't want to do stuff too. I've been there with a girl who wanted to do stuff but I wanted to remain friends. Thankfully she was all right about it.