The Student Room Group

Becoming someone I don't like in my relationship

I have been with my boyfriend for just over 9 months now, we are both 17/18 and going to uni this year. At first everything was great, we were both very happy and in love and all that. Since Christmas though things have started to change, I'm starting to become paranoid and easily offended by things he says to me, even though I know he's joking, I feel like I'm becoming 'that girlfriend' that I never wanted to be and never have been before. I feel like he's losing interest because he only does caring/romantic things for me when I ask him to or when I'm upset with him for whatever reason. He's also forgetting a lot of important things about me and focusing a lot on himself, which is in no way a bad thing but the things that are important to me should be to him too right? I don't know what to do because I do love him but sometimes I worry he doesn't love me as much, and I'm going to end up getting hurt. But I don't want to ruin a perfectly good relationship and all our plans for the summer by me over thinking things(which I have a tendency to do). Any advice? Or relatable stories?
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by bethani_rose
I have been with my boyfriend for just over 9 months now, we are both 17/18 and going to uni this year. At first everything was great, we were both very happy and in love and all that. Since Christmas though things have started to change, I'm starting to become paranoid and easily offended by things he says to me, even though I know he's joking, I feel like I'm becoming 'that girlfriend' that I never wanted to be and never have been before. I feel like he's losing interest because he only does caring/romantic things for me when I ask him to or when I'm upset with him for whatever reason. He's also forgetting a lot of important things about me and focusing a lot on himself, which is in no way a bad thing but the things that are important to me should be to him too right? I don't know what to do because I do love him but sometimes I worry he doesn't love me as much, and I'm going to end up getting hurt. But I don't want to ruin a perfectly good relationship and all our plans for the summer by me over thinking things(which I have a tendency to do). Any advice? Or relatable stories?


Talk to him about how important those things are to you and how you feel in general.
Reply 2
Sounds like he's becoming more relaxed and you're a bit insecure that he's not pampering you. All I can suggest is that you tell him how you feel and both attempt to make compromises. No point blowing it out of proportion however.
Original post by bethani_rose
I have been with my boyfriend for just over 9 months now, we are both 17/18 and going to uni this year. At first everything was great, we were both very happy and in love and all that. Since Christmas though things have started to change, I'm starting to become paranoid and easily offended by things he says to me, even though I know he's joking, I feel like I'm becoming 'that girlfriend' that I never wanted to be and never have been before. I feel like he's losing interest because he only does caring/romantic things for me when I ask him to or when I'm upset with him for whatever reason. He's also forgetting a lot of important things about me and focusing a lot on himself, which is in no way a bad thing but the things that are important to me should be to him too right? I don't know what to do because I do love him but sometimes I worry he doesn't love me as much, and I'm going to end up getting hurt. But I don't want to ruin a perfectly good relationship and all our plans for the summer by me over thinking things(which I have a tendency to do). Any advice? Or relatable stories?

thats strange.does he like anyone else.are you really interested in him?think of these things and if you are not then just leave him coz it will end up with nothing.you can talk to me on twitter or fb also if you want to
Original post by Arkasia
Sounds like he's becoming more relaxed and you're a bit insecure that he's not pampering you. All I can suggest is that you tell him how you feel and both attempt to make compromises. No point blowing it out of proportion however.


Yes thank you I will talk to him about it.
Original post by iamfurqan
thats strange.does he like anyone else.are you really interested in him?think of these things and if you are not then just leave him coz it will end up with nothing.you can talk to me on twitter or fb also if you want to


Yeah I'm definitely still interested in him, and I've never had any worries about him being interested in anyone else, just whether he is in me & thank you!
no problem tell him the number of times you dated him and other things you did with him.just to make him realize .do you have a twitter?
Original post by iamfurqan
no problem tell him the number of times you dated him and other things you did with him.just to make him realize .do you have a twitter?


No sorry I don't have twitter!
what about fb?
My advice would be talk to him about it. if you both love each other i am sure you will find a way out. Trust me talking works.....I know. If you won't talk to your boyfriend about it who else would you talk to?
Best of Luck!!!

Quick Reply