The Student Room Group

Could me and this guy have a relationship?

There is a guy the same age as me who I've met about 5 times or so, and had recently started talking to online quite a lot. I really liked him, and people said that he liked me too, but that he was just very shy.
Talking online helped break the ice and the conversations started to get a little flirtier.

Anyway, I saw him yesterday at a party, felt quite nervous and didn't know what to say, so ended up getting really drunk in order to find the courage to tell him how I felt.

We went off to talk alone, and I told him how I felt. He said he felt exactly the same way but didn't think it was a good idea to get into a relationship because he wants to go and live abroad in the summer (it's not certain, and nothing has been arranged, but he's hoping he can)

He said that he's really disappointed about this because he would have loved to be with me, he really likes me, etc.
I appreciated his honesty and told him it was totally fine I understood, but yeah I was quite sad.

Anyway we ended up kissing anyway, and later on we were very drunk and one thing led to another despite us having said that we shouldn't do that, and I ended up spending the night in his bed.
I talked to my mutual friend about it and she said that he might not necessarily go abroad, he may change his mind, and to not give up hope.
Apparently he has told a few people that he likes me, and my friend really thinks it could work out.

He had a bad long-distance break up with an ex and apparently he doesn't want any long-distance again, which I can understand. He doesn't regret anything that happened between us, I asked him if we could meet this week for a drink and he's agreed.

Do you think there is any solution at all? Do I need to just completely forget about him and move on? Thanks
Original post by Anonymous
There is a guy the same age as me who I've met about 5 times or so, and had recently started talking to online quite a lot. I really liked him, and people said that he liked me too, but that he was just very shy.
Talking online helped break the ice and the conversations started to get a little flirtier.

Anyway, I saw him yesterday at a party, felt quite nervous and didn't know what to say, so ended up getting really drunk in order to find the courage to tell him how I felt.

We went off to talk alone, and I told him how I felt. He said he felt exactly the same way but didn't think it was a good idea to get into a relationship because he wants to go and live abroad in the summer (it's not certain, and nothing has been arranged, but he's hoping he can)

He said that he's really disappointed about this because he would have loved to be with me, he really likes me, etc.
I appreciated his honesty and told him it was totally fine I understood, but yeah I was quite sad.

Anyway we ended up kissing anyway, and later on we were very drunk and one thing led to another despite us having said that we shouldn't do that, and I ended up spending the night in his bed.
I talked to my mutual friend about it and she said that he might not necessarily go abroad, he may change his mind, and to not give up hope.
Apparently he has told a few people that he likes me, and my friend really thinks it could work out.

He had a bad long-distance break up with an ex and apparently he doesn't want any long-distance again, which I can understand. He doesn't regret anything that happened between us, I asked him if we could meet this week for a drink and he's agreed.

Do you think there is any solution at all? Do I need to just completely forget about him and move on? Thanks


See how it goes when you are sober and go for this drink.

It won't be long distance all of the time if he's only working abroad for the summer.
Reply 2
Thanks, I'm gonna do that yeah, it could be totally different, but he did seem pretty sure about it to be fair :frown:
Very frustrating as I know we both like each other and want to be together, but I suppose some things are not meant to be.
Anyway, when we go for the drink i'll see what he says then...
Reply 3
And the thing is, it's not guaranteed that he's going abroad, he just wants to. I've done long-distance in another country before and it was fine, but at the same time, I understand that not everyone wants to do that.
He might not leave so it could work out and if he does leave it might not be for long, he might not like it abroad.

Posted from TSR Mobile
Reply 5
Yes, you are right, he may well stay here. He wants to go away for a few months and then he wants to go back to his home country (1h by plane from here) and it's also a country I used to live in and I speak the language fluently, and actually want to live in again myself.. I've not ruled out going back there one day.
I really wouldn't like to give up, because I have thought other guys in the past were so great, but this one is really special. I think I will just have to see how it goes when we meet.
Reply 6
And, he isn't planning to leave for at least another 4 months, which is a long time. It's just gutting though because he has said to me, you know I really like you and I would love to have a relationship with you otherwise. Plus, the fact that he's told other people he likes me means it must be true..
Reply 7
Do you think it's worth me asking him to reconsider?
Reply 8
bump
No, just wait and see what happens

Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Anonymous
Do you think it's worth me asking him to reconsider?


No, if he wanted to reconsider it he would. Asking him to isn't at all fair on him. If he wants to be with you, he knows you like him, he will make the appropriate moves to make it happen. If he doesn't do that, it's too bad, move on.
Hey, thanks for the reply :smile: You are right.. I guess it's just bad timing. We spoke about it again and he said a girlfriend is out of a question atm, as much as he likes me. I know I cannot change his mind, I'm sure it is the right decision overall, and I am so busy myself with studies that maybe it would've been too difficult anyway. It's hard but I will be ok in time I guess :smile:
Original post by rayquaza17
see how it goes when you are sober and go for this drink.

It won't be long distance all of the time if he's only working abroad for the summer.


ur dp is ****ing killing me

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