I am a 22 y/o female. fun, outgoing cheeky and flirty personality. I have always had 'a thing' with guys.. so in some sense even though i had never done anything sexual with guys before, i had always had been 'emotionally involved' with guys. Kissing is always as far as i would go with guys..
I have always been bought up in a culture in which i always believed i would save my virginity until the day i was married.
and then i met my current bf. He is amazing. Funny and good looking. No one makes me laugh the way he does. he is totally amazing. He gets along with all my friends and most of all, he treats me amazingly well. We have the type of relationship almost anyone would dream of.
I wouldnt change ANYTHING in our relationship.. except one thing and thats the sex.
i thought that sex was meant to be a big deal? Ive lost my virginity now.. i dont feel guilt.. in fact i dont know how i feel at all. Mainly because i just dont enjoy it. i had such high expectations of what i thought i would be like that it almost dont feel like ive done anything let alone feel like ive done something bad.
i feel awful for feeling like this because i am totally in love with my bf. but the sex is just awful. he doesnt last at all.. i dont even like the oral sex he gives me! like theres no technique with how he uses his tongue (sorry if its too OTT).
He literally lasts for less then 2 minutes and thats it.
so annoyed.. for 22 years i waited.. for this?! wish i never bothered in the first place tbh.
but that being said... i do think my bf is amazing. the sex is bad... i can feel its putting a strain on our relationship because sometimes i always feel like i have an excuse to not stay at his.. cause i feel that the less number of times i have sex with him the less dissapointed i feel.
i dont know what to do. i love him, but you cant deny that sex is a big thing in relationships either..
help?