3rd year student expelled.please help!
Hi everyone. I was a third year student until today. I was expelled on the grounds of threatening another student.
A classmate has been 'bullying' me for the past 2 years, making bitchy hurtful comments which I usually ignored, however one particular time she made very hurtful comments on social media about my small daughter and my role as a mother. I became very upset by this and stupidly called uni for help resolving the situation. The response I got was 'not our problem'. I said I would not be coming back into lectures until this was sorted. I was told that by not attending I would be intentionally failing the course. I said that I didn't want to go back in that environment and I was staying away because I didn't want to do something I'll regret. When asked to elaborate I said that if this girl said anything about my child again I might end up going for her and that I didn't want that to happen, so I was staying away until it died down. This was taken as a threat to harm another student. I apologised and assured the other person on the phone that that would not happen and I didn't want it to and I was not attending for that reason. Over the next few days I was bombarded with emails and phone calls from the uni demanding I retract my 'threat'. I was still distress and angry at what was happening and requested to be left alone. A misconduct hearing took place where it was decided that I should be expelled. I appealed the decision and lost.
A classmate has been 'bullying' me for the past 2 years, making bitchy hurtful comments which I usually ignored, however one particular time she made very hurtful comments on social media about my small daughter and my role as a mother. I became very upset by this and stupidly called uni for help resolving the situation. The response I got was 'not our problem'. I said I would not be coming back into lectures until this was sorted. I was told that by not attending I would be intentionally failing the course. I said that I didn't want to go back in that environment and I was staying away because I didn't want to do something I'll regret. When asked to elaborate I said that if this girl said anything about my child again I might end up going for her and that I didn't want that to happen, so I was staying away until it died down. This was taken as a threat to harm another student. I apologised and assured the other person on the phone that that would not happen and I didn't want it to and I was not attending for that reason. Over the next few days I was bombarded with emails and phone calls from the uni demanding I retract my 'threat'. I was still distress and angry at what was happening and requested to be left alone. A misconduct hearing took place where it was decided that I should be expelled. I appealed the decision and lost.
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Cont......
Now I don't know what to do. My mental health has greatly suffered due to this and I feel like my life is over. I've let myself and my daughter down. Please does anyone know what I can do???? I have worked very hard for 9 years to get an education and I can't lose it all in the third year. I feel like I have been treated like a criminal. No advice has been offered to me nor any help.
Can I apply to redo my third year at another university?? Where do I stand on SFE? I should have an extra years funding left. Please please help, thank you
Now I don't know what to do. My mental health has greatly suffered due to this and I feel like my life is over. I've let myself and my daughter down. Please does anyone know what I can do???? I have worked very hard for 9 years to get an education and I can't lose it all in the third year. I feel like I have been treated like a criminal. No advice has been offered to me nor any help.
Can I apply to redo my third year at another university?? Where do I stand on SFE? I should have an extra years funding left. Please please help, thank you
Seriously? You made the wrong move here. If you're a 3rd year the smartest thing to do would of been to hack it until the end, it's what, 5/6 months IF that? Come on... We're all adults here, you should of just not gave her attention, not talked to her, why do you even have contact with her on social media? I don't have contact with people I dislike. If it were really that big an issue it would of been a police matter, it sounds like you've just shot yourself in the foot and she's won.
Who cares what she says about your child? Your child can't see/read hear it or understand (at least I hope you didn't tell the child.) Who did it hurt? You can redo your third year but you've just gotten yourself into more unneeded debt. You have to contact SFE asap to cut your fundings now and reapply.
Who cares what she says about your child? Your child can't see/read hear it or understand (at least I hope you didn't tell the child.) Who did it hurt? You can redo your third year but you've just gotten yourself into more unneeded debt. You have to contact SFE asap to cut your fundings now and reapply.
(edited 8 years ago)
Something doesn't add up here. Are you sure you only said you would harm them or is there another part to the story you haven't told us? Because their reaction suggests something more serious.
It sounds like a very weak case against you. I don't think any uni should expel someone for something like that, especially because you were in distress.
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It sounds like a very weak case against you. I don't think any uni should expel someone for something like that, especially because you were in distress.
Posted from TSR Mobile
(edited 8 years ago)
I'm not going to lecture you on why your actions were wrong because you probably realise that now. Hindsight is 20/20 and all that (though I don't understand why you didn't retracted the threat when given the opportunity).
You may be able to apply to a different university starting in third year. You'd need to find a course which is very similar to the one you've been studying and contact them to see if they'd be willing to consider your application. I don't know if you have to tell them about your expulsion but if you do, that will probably affect your chances. With student finance, I think you do get a 'grace year' but I'm trying to do the maths with their 'length of your course plus one extra year minus years you've already had' formula but it's not adding up. Hopefully it's just my sleep deprived brain messing up and someone will be here to clarify.
You may be able to apply to a different university starting in third year. You'd need to find a course which is very similar to the one you've been studying and contact them to see if they'd be willing to consider your application. I don't know if you have to tell them about your expulsion but if you do, that will probably affect your chances. With student finance, I think you do get a 'grace year' but I'm trying to do the maths with their 'length of your course plus one extra year minus years you've already had' formula but it's not adding up. Hopefully it's just my sleep deprived brain messing up and someone will be here to clarify.
I'm not a troll and I'm being serious. I never said I hated her, your just a spoiled young woman who doesn't understand real life and I used ignore. Other classmates felt the same way and still had her asa friend on FB.
So I've been expelled now, went through the appeals process and lost, where do I actually stand now?
And I care about what she said about my daughter, it wasn't just me she was arguing that day too. Uni seem to think it's a very serious thing I did and I did tell them I wouldn't do anything. My life is in pieces and I really need proper help, not criticisms
So I've been expelled now, went through the appeals process and lost, where do I actually stand now?
And I care about what she said about my daughter, it wasn't just me she was arguing that day too. Uni seem to think it's a very serious thing I did and I did tell them I wouldn't do anything. My life is in pieces and I really need proper help, not criticisms
I hope this is not a troll, but I am sorry. idk what to do now - ask a teacher on side to help you?
Profoundly apologise even if you dont mean it idk
Profoundly apologise even if you dont mean it idk
Did you involve your students' union in the process?
I, too, suspect that we are missing a piece of information here. Was there some previous conduct issue, or was the treat rather more serious and detailed than is suggested above, for instance?
I, too, suspect that we are missing a piece of information here. Was there some previous conduct issue, or was the treat rather more serious and detailed than is suggested above, for instance?
Original post by CLHMMJM
I'm not a troll and I'm being serious. I never said I hated her, your just a spoiled young woman who doesn't understand real life and I used ignore. Other classmates felt the same way and still had her asa friend on FB.
So I've been expelled now, went through the appeals process and lost, where do I actually stand now?
And I care about what she said about my daughter, it wasn't just me she was arguing that day too. Uni seem to think it's a very serious thing I did and I did tell them I wouldn't do anything. My life is in pieces and I really need proper help, not criticisms
So I've been expelled now, went through the appeals process and lost, where do I actually stand now?
And I care about what she said about my daughter, it wasn't just me she was arguing that day too. Uni seem to think it's a very serious thing I did and I did tell them I wouldn't do anything. My life is in pieces and I really need proper help, not criticisms
You can take your complaint to the Office of the Independent Adjudicator:
http://www.oiahe.org.uk/
However, I don't see how you could win. A nasty girl said nasty things about you and your daughter. That's playground stuff which you should've carried on ignoring - especially with so few weeks left of your degree. You actually threatened physical violence, which will never be tolerated by a uni.
You didn't act like a grownup. You can't go through life threatening people who say things you don't like. If you did that in a job, you'd be sacked. It's a harsh lesson, but you need to learn it very fast. You are not the wronged party here.
If you read the agreement which you signed up to when you enrolled, it will include a clause that you agree not to harm or threaten students or staff. It will lay out the actions which will be taken against you if you do that. The uni will have followed this clause.
Original post by Klix88
You can take your complaint to the Office of the Independent Adjudicator:
http://www.oiahe.org.uk/
However, I don't see how you could win. A nasty girl said nasty things about you and your daughter. That's playground stuff which you should've carried on ignoring - especially with so few weeks left of your degree. You actually threatened physical violence, which will never be tolerated by a uni.
You didn't act like a grownup. You can't go through life threatening people who say things you don't like. If you did that in a job, you'd be sacked. It's a harsh lesson, but you need to learn it very fast. You are not the wronged party here.
If you read the agreement which you signed up to when you enrolled, it will include a clause that you agree not to harm or threaten students or staff. It will lay out the actions which will be taken against you if you do that. The uni will have followed this clause.
http://www.oiahe.org.uk/
However, I don't see how you could win. A nasty girl said nasty things about you and your daughter. That's playground stuff which you should've carried on ignoring - especially with so few weeks left of your degree. You actually threatened physical violence, which will never be tolerated by a uni.
You didn't act like a grownup. You can't go through life threatening people who say things you don't like. If you did that in a job, you'd be sacked. It's a harsh lesson, but you need to learn it very fast. You are not the wronged party here.
If you read the agreement which you signed up to when you enrolled, it will include a clause that you agree not to harm or threaten students or staff. It will lay out the actions which will be taken against you if you do that. The uni will have followed this clause.
I did not threaten her, I removed myself from lectures because I didn't want to be pushed that far, which I'd stated. The university have been aware of her bullying for two years and did nothing. THAT is playground stuff. I ignored it for two years, had no choice. Everyone has a line and she crossed mine. I've admitted my mistake. I've apologised several times. I however have had no such courtesy. I never threatens to harm her. I never threaten her to her face. I put in measures to protect us both. Everyone flips at certain points, its human nature. I essentially protected her from the harm she was causing, I made sure nothing would happen to her by deciding not to put myself in that situation where something could happen. He has bullied several classmates over this course and got away with. I withdraw from her company to prevent things going to far for her. I'm expelled. She stays on to finish her degree without a word said to her. If I'm not the wronged party here then who is??
I can't believe so many people are slating you. 'Oh it's only verbal bullying you should have ignored it.' What?! No, especially if they're talking smack about your kids. Verbal bullying isn't any less serious than a 'threat', and I use that term lightly, because I wouldn't say that how you described it as being a threat at all in the slightest.
Original post by CLHMMJM
When asked to elaborate I said that if this girl said anything about my child again I might end up going for her and that I didn't want that to happen
Original post by CLHMMJM
I did not threaten her
According to you, you told them that you "might end up going for her". What did you mean by that? I interpret that statement as a threat of physical harm, and so did the uni authorities. They are duty bound to act upon it. They do not have any duty to protect you from somebody who is repeatedly saying nasty things about you and your child, but who does not actually pose any direct threat. Unless she has at some point theatened you/your daughter, then you are the one in the wrong.
it seems an extreme reaction to expel you and I would ask the same as others have, was there any other issues previously?
in all honesty people are right, you would have been fired from a job, you just can't say things like that... and bullying and name calling happens everywhere, at school, at uni and at work as well, you need to be able to ignore it and move on
in all honesty people are right, you would have been fired from a job, you just can't say things like that... and bullying and name calling happens everywhere, at school, at uni and at work as well, you need to be able to ignore it and move on
Original post by CLHMMJM
I'm not a troll and I'm being serious. I never said I hated her, your just a spoiled young woman who doesn't understand real life and I used ignore. Other classmates felt the same way and still had her asa friend on FB.
So I've been expelled now, went through the appeals process and lost, where do I actually stand now?
And I care about what she said about my daughter, it wasn't just me she was arguing that day too. Uni seem to think it's a very serious thing I did and I did tell them I wouldn't do anything. My life is in pieces and I really need proper help, not criticisms
So I've been expelled now, went through the appeals process and lost, where do I actually stand now?
And I care about what she said about my daughter, it wasn't just me she was arguing that day too. Uni seem to think it's a very serious thing I did and I did tell them I wouldn't do anything. My life is in pieces and I really need proper help, not criticisms
I'm sorry but - are you on the autism spectrum? No grown up human being behaves the way you did unless theres serious problems going on there.
Original post by nocturnalangel
I'm sorry but - are you on the autism spectrum? No grown up human being behaves the way you did unless theres serious problems going on there.
well shes on tsr
You basically said that if you came back into uni and she was there then you would hit her. What did you think they would do? Just hope for the best?
They asked you to take back your threat and you didn't. You should have retracted what you said as it is not acceptable to threaten people because they insult you or your family. Harsh lesson but you won't get far if you act like that in the work place.
If you were being bullied they should have acted on this, but two wrongs don't make a right as I am sure you know. I terms of SFE, if you were to start a new course you wouldn't be entitled to funding as you have used up 3 years already. You may be entitled to a gift year but I am not really sure. You would definitely be funding the first 2 years of a new degree at the very least, unless you went on to do an NHS funded course.
Original post by CLHMMJM
Over the next few days I was bombarded with emails and phone calls from the uni demanding I retract my 'threat'. I was still distress and angry at what was happening and requested to be left alone. A misconduct hearing took place where it was decided that I should be expelled. I appealed the decision and lost.
They asked you to take back your threat and you didn't. You should have retracted what you said as it is not acceptable to threaten people because they insult you or your family. Harsh lesson but you won't get far if you act like that in the work place.
If you were being bullied they should have acted on this, but two wrongs don't make a right as I am sure you know. I terms of SFE, if you were to start a new course you wouldn't be entitled to funding as you have used up 3 years already. You may be entitled to a gift year but I am not really sure. You would definitely be funding the first 2 years of a new degree at the very least, unless you went on to do an NHS funded course.
Lol, people in this thread are crazy. How on earth should that be considered an expellable offence?
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