How important are flatmates at uni?

It depends on the person in question on whether flatmates are important for making friends. If you're someone who finds it hard to make friends and essentially needs to be forced into social situations (like me) to do anything then it is probably best to live out. As I know I would not have made any friends had I commuted, but that's just who I am.

I didn't actually get on that well with my halls flat in first year, a few of the girls were nice enough but we had essentially nothing in common. And a couple of the other girls were just down right rude and malicious and a pain to live with sometimes (note being loud on purpose 4am knowing full well I have an exam at 9am).

However had I not moved into that flat with those girls I would not have met our neighbours in halls, 2 of which I still live with now 2 years later. I had not made any friends on my course in first year as I was struggling a lot with anxiety, and it was taking me a long time to be comfortable around people. So due to these things it's very clear to me commuting would have caused me to have 0 friends due to my anxiety, which is why (among other reasons) I chose to live out. I knew I would find it hard and stressful at first but for me it was worth it. Being forced to live with people forced me to become more social and it gave me the opportunity I didn't seem to be able to give myself at the time to really get comfortable with people.

Or if you are anything like me living out results in basically solitary confinement to your tiny room where you only leave at odd hours to have showered and eat food so you don't have to bump into someone. As time goes on the fear gets worse and worse as you are aware of how much a loner weirdo you must look. Being outside in the real work dis hard enough for me. I get seriously depressed and fed up/depressed when my home isn't somewhere I can relax. I'm on edge permanently and I don't get a rest from it.

I never lived in halls the second time I went to uni, and made lots of close friends. I think it's a bit of a myth that you need to live in halls to have a good social life. For some people, it does help, as it means they have some people to go to events with, and obviously if you have a good set of flatmates then you're hopefully going to have a good time. I've never really known anyone who didn't live in halls to feel like they were missing out a lot, and I think for some people who get on with their flatmates ok, it can actually be a bit limiting, because they don't put themselves out there to meet other people they might like even better.

I think the thing with housemates/flatmates is that you live with them 24/7, so if you don't get on with them, it's always going to be pretty awful. Actively falling out with someone who you still have to live with for the next six months (say) is never going to be ideal. Equally, living with someone with a very different lifestyle to you can be really hard.

So, I don't think living in halls is important, but I do think liking the people you are living with is- and I would say if anyone is having a bad time in halls they should ask to move ASAP.

I think it's about the people in the halls? Some people tend to click quite easily, as while other people don't tend to click with their flatmates. In my first flat, I was and am still friends with 3 other girls there. However, one didn't like me (we had very different lifestyles) and pretty much ran me out in the end. As with my new flat, I see my new flatmates around in the kitchen here and there, but we haven't really clicked? We just kind of live in the same building is all.

But I guess who you live with isn't exactly important? It's more to do with whether you can tolerate them or if they can tolerate you. I wouldn't think that living outside the halls would ruin the experience though.

It's essential to know plenty about them before you sign that contract. And it's equally important to know about their partners.

I spent a whole year within earshot of noisy shaggers, with one flatmate's partner constantly using baby oil in the bath without cleaning it out after.

It depends on the person in question on whether flatmates are important for making friends. If you're someone who finds it hard to make friends and essentially needs to be forced into social situations (like me) to do anything then it is probably best to live out. As I know I would not have made any friends had I commuted, but that's just who I am.

I didn't actually get on that well with my halls flat in first year, a few of the girls were nice enough but we had essentially nothing in common. And a couple of the other girls were just down right rude and malicious and a pain to live with sometimes (note being loud on purpose 4am knowing full well I have an exam at 9am).

However had I not moved into that flat with those girls I would not have met our neighbours in halls, 2 of which I still live with now 2 years later. I had not made any friends on my course in first year as I was struggling a lot with anxiety, and it was taking me a long time to be comfortable around people. So due to these things it's very clear to me commuting would have caused me to have 0 friends due to my anxiety, which is why (among other reasons) I chose to live out. I knew I would find it hard and stressful at first but for me it was worth it. Being forced to live with people forced me to become more social and it gave me the opportunity I didn't seem to be able to give myself at the time to really get comfortable with people.

Or if you are anything like me living out results in basically solitary confinement to your tiny room where you only leave at odd hours to have showered and eat food so you don't have to bump into someone. As time goes on the fear gets worse and worse as you are aware of how much a loner weirdo you must look. Being outside in the real work dis hard enough for me. I get seriously depressed and fed up/depressed when my home isn't somewhere I can relax. I'm on edge permanently and I don't get a rest from it.

I guess you are right, you can still enjoy yourself if you don't have such good flatmates. One of my friends at uni lives in a flat where they all don't really like him, they even had their Christmas dinner without him, but he has made loads of other friends with people from different halls and his course and so it still enjoying himself. Liking the people you stay with has to be vital, but even if you didn't really 'get on' with someone, if they weren't really in your way all the time, it could still be okay.

I would say that, as a commuter, I probably do miss out on a bit but that is mainly because most of the people I spend time with at uni all chill till the early morning and so it is hard. I would say I have come to understand it and feel alright about it though, because I didn't want to risk living out again after my experience the first time round.

Thank you