Fanfiction Scene, Please Check It Out (hope it's not too long, give it a chance).

So my old stories suck compared to my poetry so I've tried out fanfiction instead, and I'm actually a lot better at that than normal stories, so I've got into it and it's fun

I'm writing a Lion King one as well but there's not much to show for it right now

¯\_(ツ)_/¯


But right now I've written nearly four chapters for my Sonic the Hedgehog fanfic and I really like it so far. And no, I'm not one of those weird people who write fanfics about random shipped couples getting Sonic or Shadow pregnant (why tf do people even do that, jeez). But despite the disappointment in trying to find good fanfiction on one of my favourite franchises, (and despite the questions I have for some of our fanbase), I still want to write fanfiction on it- yes for a more older audience (like teens and adults)- but with a lot more thought, creative integrity and meaningfulness put into it. An actual story plot. That's what I'm going for anyway. Here's an extract from one of the chapters and I'd like your thoughts on it please. Adult language involved. Work in progress. Critique is welcomed.

Context: Espio the Chameleon has decided to secretly investigate something strange that he has found about Vector the Crocodile's background, and he has come to a conclusion. He wakes up in the same room he was doing the research in, (yes, the computer room ), but Vector has just called Espio and is nearly about to find out what he's doing, so he panics. And so the dramatic scene begins....

Hi! I am not in the Sonic fandom, but your fanfic is really good! I love the dialogue (tech savvy lol) And the story seems really exciting Cliff hanger!

Oh wow a reply! Thank you! Really appreciate it!

Thank you I'm glad you like it Haha lol yeah Woo! Yeah true

Thanks again

No problem it's really good, continue it!