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I've left Islam, now lost friends

I recently came out as ex-Muslim and now a lot of the Muslims are avoiding me. Most were accepting and didn't say anything, just questioned. But some of them vilified me. I didn't say anything back as I'm not that type of person, I respect everyone and believe in equality for everyone. The girl who I really like is Muslim, in fact she wears hijab and prays 5 times a day etc.
What am I supposed to do now? I'm distanced from their community and they are trying to avoid me.

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Reply 1
Where do you live just for knowledge sake? I live in London and I know quiet a few people who left Islam without any real problem.
Original post by Anonymous
I recently came out as ex-Muslim and now a lot of the Muslims are avoiding me. Most were accepting and didn't say anything, just questioned. But some of them vilified me. I didn't say anything back as I'm not that type of person, I respect everyone and believe in equality for everyone. The girl who I really like is Muslim, in fact she wears hijab and prays 5 times a day etc.
What am I supposed to do now? I'm distanced from their community and they are trying to avoid me.


well... what can you do now???
sit down and think again!!!
Reply 3
Original post by Zeroic
Where do you live just for knowledge sake? I live in London and I know quiet a few people who left Islam without any real problem.


West Yorkshire
Original post by Anonymous
I recently came out as ex-Muslim and now a lot of the Muslims are avoiding me. Most were accepting and didn't say anything, just questioned. But some of them vilified me. I didn't say anything back as I'm not that type of person, I respect everyone and believe in equality for everyone. The girl who I really like is Muslim, in fact she wears hijab and prays 5 times a day etc.
What am I supposed to do now? I'm distanced from their community and they are trying to avoid me.


So wait hang on, let me guess this right. You left Islam - which is fine, presumable cause you did not believe in its teaching etc yet you 'really like' a girl who observes the teachings of the religion.

Im not sure if you were expecting any other response from your friends, I am sure you know how serious Muslims take their religion etc.
Reply 5
Original post by Anonymous
I recently came out as ex-Muslim and now a lot of the Muslims are avoiding me. Most were accepting and didn't say anything, just questioned. But some of them vilified me. I didn't say anything back as I'm not that type of person, I respect everyone and believe in equality for everyone. The girl who I really like is Muslim, in fact she wears hijab and prays 5 times a day etc.
What am I supposed to do now? I'm distanced from their community and they are trying to avoid me.


I know this is cliche, but If they only accepted you as a friend because of a religion.Then they really aren't worthy of your friendship.
If they were that flakey, you deserve better friends tbh, you're right to respect their beliefs but they should afford you the same courtesy, they're probably just scared of a 'bad' influence but you're right to stick by your beliefs whatever they may be, if your current friends don't see sense, rest assured you'll make plenty of new ones whom I'm sure will be a lot less judgmental :smile:
hang out with the athiests = problem solved
Reply 8
Original post by fatima1998
well... what can you do now???
sit down and think again!!!


Think again about what?
Reply 9
Original post by Anonymous
I recently came out as ex-Muslim and now a lot of the Muslims are avoiding me. Most were accepting and didn't say anything, just questioned. But some of them vilified me. I didn't say anything back as I'm not that type of person, I respect everyone and believe in equality for everyone. The girl who I really like is Muslim, in fact she wears hijab and prays 5 times a day etc.
What am I supposed to do now? I'm distanced from their community and they are trying to avoid me.

Lol, I just stopped talking to all the self righteous people. Dw, you'll find plenty of new amazing people in the world, with the same views as you.

The way you talk about the "community" sounds like you're south Asian... Not even gonna go there lol

About your crush, if she's praying 5 times a day, chances are she wouldn't be in a haraam relationship so you had no chance anyways. MOVE ON!

What made you leave though?
Original post by Greek God
Think again about what?


how to solve the problem obviously!
Original post by Mjcal1
Lol, I just stopped talking to all the self righteous people. Dw, you'll find plenty of new amazing people in the world, with the same views as you.

The way you talk about the "community" sounds like you're south Asian... Not even gonna go there lol

About your crush, if she's praying 5 times a day, chances are she wouldn't be in a haraam relationship so you had no chance anyways. MOVE ON!

What made you leave though?


I just wish I could do something do get everyone cohesive.
Yes I'm South Asian, in fact I'm Indian.

I actually don't want to be in a 'haraam relationship', by that I'm guessing you mean pre-marital. I don't believe in that. Even though I'm ex-Muslim, I still carry a conservative view about marriage.

And it's different, I want to marry her. I don't care if she prays 5 times a day, in fact I'd encourage it if it makes her happy. I don't hold anything against Islam and I'd still like to hold strong relations with the Muslim community.
Original post by Anonymous
So wait hang on, let me guess this right. You left Islam - which is fine, presumable cause you did not believe in its teaching etc yet you 'really like' a girl who observes the teachings of the religion.

Im not sure if you were expecting any other response from your friends, I am sure you know how serious Muslims take their religion etc.


I can't really help who I like. It's hard to control what's in the heart. And most of them don't know that I want to marry her.

And I know it's true, in Islam, it is prohibited for them women to marry a non-Muslim. And they also seem quite protective of their women too.
If she rejects me for any reason, I will just accept it, whether it be because I am non-Muslim or anything else.
Original post by Anonymous
I recently came out as ex-Muslim and now a lot of the Muslims are avoiding me. Most were accepting and didn't say anything, just questioned. But some of them vilified me. I didn't say anything back as I'm not that type of person, I respect everyone and believe in equality for everyone. The girl who I really like is Muslim, in fact she wears hijab and prays 5 times a day etc.
What am I supposed to do now? I'm distanced from their community and they are trying to avoid me.


Its a shame that people have chosen to not accept your decision. I think with the islamic community there is not a real sense of liberalism and people will wonder why you made this decision. May i ask why you made this choice?
That's crazy. My friend recently became an ex Muslim and told everyone he is gay. I'm a Muslim and I'm still friends with him. I think it's awful that your Muslim friends would just abandon you. I'd say you had a lucky escape. Their true colours have flourished and now you know who is good for you.

As for the girl you like, try and put your beliefs to the side, and try and get to know eachother. If she's good for you, she should like/love you for who and what you are. :smile:
(edited 8 years ago)
Well, the best thing to do is to drown your sorrows with beer and bacon!

On a serious note, try to find like minded people (other atheists, ex-muslims etc), there are more than you think! There are several groups/organisations (e.g. http://faithtofaithless.com) who can help. Hope everything gets better mate!
Original post by Anonymous
I can't really help who I like. It's hard to control what's in the heart. And most of them don't know that I want to marry her.

And I know it's true, in Islam, it is prohibited for them women to marry a non-Muslim. And they also seem quite protective of their women too.
If she rejects me for any reason, I will just accept it, whether it be because I am non-Muslim or anything else.


Get down the local pub mate, you'll soon make friends!
Original post by chemting
Well, the best thing to do is to drown your sorrows with beer and bacon!

On a serious note, try to find like minded people (other atheists, ex-muslims etc), there are more than you think! There are several groups/organisations (e.g. http://faithtofaithless.com) who can help. Hope everything gets better mate!


1. I'm vegetarian
2. I'm trying to cut down and eventually quit alcohol for health reasons
Show them article 34 in the children's rights act.
Jk, i don't even know what article 34 states.

Anyway,
If then don't accept you, then make new friends who actually like you for who you are not for some religion.

Religion doesn't make you a person- sure it will teach you morals etc but a good human being should have some common sense morals anyway and shouldn't need to be dictated by an invisible figure.

Also, talking back is good at times- you need to let these people know they are in the wrong and don't just accept everything they say.
If you are going to lose friends in the end anyway, you may as well talk back while you can because they are being racist in a way.

As for the girl, I know it sounds incredibly harsh but if she is a Muslim, then her family is unlikely to approve of you. But I guess, you should keep trying and like someone else said set your beliefs outside and try to get to know her as if religion doesn't exist.

Good luck!
(edited 8 years ago)
The kind of people who fall out with you for not kissing the group several times a dayare just idiots anyway :smile:

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